Hidden

I want to stop running away from everything. I want to find something to run toward.

- Hannah Harrington

~

Pitch black. Dirty floor. Cold cement. Horrible mattress. Disgusting hygiene.

That was the basis of my living situation for the past twelve years. Will made sure I knew my place and while I may have been brainwashed to think that way, I could always hope for freedom. Who would have hope after so long?

“Get up,” he ordered as he entered my small space.

I stood in the corner before walking his way. He grabbed my wrist with much force, dragging me outside for some fresh air. I cherished every moment I had in the sun. Every flower that bloomed was a beauty to remember.

Today was not that day. The sun didn’t touch my skin. Flowers didn’t bloom. Trees were naked. The sky was empty and gray while the silence pounded against my ears. Winter was still holding on and spring would be late yet again this year.

Will dropped me onto the frozen ground. “You have ten minutes. Make good use of it.”

The icy air bit my skin while my hair flew around my face. I appreciated the outside but winter was harsh. Winter despised me. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I hated winter just as much.

I didn’t make any movements or play with the grass as I would usually do. I just gave winter the green light to steal my body warmth, or whatever I had left.

“Let’s get back inside now. The ten minutes are up.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me back to my room before locking me in the darkness.

I sat on the mattress against the wall, brushing my fingers against the bloodstain beneath me. There were many inside this room, all of which were results of what I assumed was my body’s way of suffering from the pain. However, this one I sat on was not. This one had been more painful than anything else. My insides had come out of me. Some kind of blob came from inside, as a result of the wear and tear from Will’s needs. I thought my heart would eventually burst from my chest just like my guts had fallen out of me.

After what seemed like an agonizing century, Will returned to my room to give me a plate of food. I nodded at him and grabbed the plate, beginning to eat. He left me in peace.

The food wasn’t a gourmet meal. It was food to get me by and keep me alive. That was all I needed. The slop entered my stomach and I cleaned the plate up nicely. I licked the fork clean and slid it into my pocket. I set the plate to the side and moved to the side corner.

A knock echoed and Will came in. “Done?” I gave him a nod in response. He reached down for the plate and I scooted closer, my heart beating faster. It was pounding by the time I got close to him and I swear he heard it. I stabbed the fork into his calf, knowing it would be harder for him to chase me with an injury there.

He screamed out and grabbed his leg, gripping the fork. “You bitch! How dare you?” he yelled as I got up and ran out the door. I pulled the door closed and bolted the lock before running out of the small structure altogether.

I made sure to watch for tree roots and twigs, anything that could trip me and deter my escape plan. My calves were burning but I couldn’t stop now. I’d made it so far and the adrenaline coursing through my system was fueling my energy.

Branches would come back to slap me in the face. I pushed until my weak legs gave out on me. I fell into the dirt and my hands landed into something wet.

I pulled my hands out of the holes and fell onto my butt. “Nein. Nein,” I repeated over and over. I put my hands up to my face and examined the liquid covering my skin. It was a dark red, staining what was already ruined long ago.

A scream escaped my lips as I scooted far away from the body, freshly killed. Whoever she was, I had mistreated her. “Es tut mir leid.” I grabbed twigs from the surrounding area to cover up her body and give her some respect. She deserved it after the state her body was in. Nobody deserved to be seen like this.

I left the area once she was buried. I continued through the forest, avoiding the bushes and trees and searching for a source of water to regain hydration. I needed to make another run to civilization. I was so far and I would curse myself until the end of time if I got caught now.

I was stopped by a lower branch pulling on my dress. I tugged until my dress ripped off of me. My feet lost balance and I fell onto my butt, covering up my chest.

The forest seemed endless at this point but I needed to keep hope. I had the hope that I could survive this. I wanted to live a real life.

The walk continued and the breeze was rushing through me to my bones. I was freezing.

I found a small cave made of rock and dirt. I curled up inside and shoved my hands into my armpits for more warmth. The wind had been against me, therefore it couldn’t get inside the cave. I was feeling warmer by the second.

My eyes closed and soon enough, the darkness swept me away.

-

I awoke to the sound of a twig snapping. I covered my mouth as my eyes went wide and I realized what was about to happen. My body had gone numb from the temperature of the forest.

Every thought raced through my mind. Did he find me? Was I dead? I wished I hadn’t taken a moment to go to sleep. I should have known I would be caught in an instant. I made myself vulnerable. I made myself an easy target.

A black snout appeared at the top of the cave, sniffing inside. Tears froze to my cheeks and I closed my eyes, focusing on breathing.

A growl escaped the wolf’s lips. I opened my eyes to face my fate. His blue eyes popped out and I struggled to keep myself from sobbing. I had been so close to escaping. Everything I had done made my life worse.

The wolf growled at me and I knew I had to comply. If I didn’t, he would tear me to pieces. But was that really so bad?

I crawled out of the cave and pulled my knees to my chest. “Tu mir nicht weh.”

The wolf tilted his head before looking around the area. He shifted back into Will and I averted my gaze to the ground. I couldn’t look into those blue eyes. They were ice. They had no warmth.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

I lifted my head in the slightest, now confused by his question. “Armina Müller...”

He reached forward and I pulled back as a reflex. It didn’t stop his fingers from grabbing my chin. They seemed so gentle, much more than they’d been before.

“Armina... That’s a beautiful name. You must be freezing and hungry. Why don’t you let me take you to a warm home for the night?” He stood.

My eyes landed on the thing between his legs. He really had no shame. He would use that against me and then show it off as a prized weapon.

He leaned forward but I scooted back. “Fass mich nicht an.”

“I won’t hurt you. I promise.”

“Nein.” I shook my head. I hated myself for resisting. He was going to make it worse on me in the end.

He sighed and bent down. “I can’t just let you freeze to death.” He scooped me into his arms. I didn’t bother fighting back. Every part of me was numb and it wouldn’t change the outcome. He was stronger. I was nothing against him.

We arrived at the largest house I’d ever seen. He took us inside and set me onto a couch. “Oh, dear.” A woman came from the kitchen and hurried over to me. “Walter, what happened?”

“Get her food and blankets. I’ll explain when I get dressed.” He left the room and I gave this woman a strange look.

Where was I? Will would never take me here. “Walter? Wer ist Walter?”

She grabbed me blankets and wrapped them around me, patted my shoulders. “Walter? He owns this mansion. He took you in.”

“Walter... Nein. Das ist Will. Will. Walter nacht.” I took a moment to think. This man did seem a bit different. He had facial hair, something I couldn’t remember Will having. Yet, they looked identical. “Wo ist Will?”

“Will?” she questioned.

“Will. I haven’t heard that name in a long time,” a man said behind us. He came over but I scooted away. “Will, you say? Did he kidnap you? I should have known why you were so terrified of me.” He sat on the couch. “I am not Will. Will is my brother. We’re twins. We look the same but I’m not Will. I am Walter.”

“Walter,” I repeated. “Walter ist gut und Will ist böse.”

Cat rushed off to get me food.

Walter scooted closer. “You’re safe now. You’re here and he can’t find you here.”

I wasn’t sure if I could believe him but I hoped he was telling the truth either way. “Es tut mir leid. Ich spreche Deutsch.”

“Deutsch? German?” he asked.

I nodded. “German.”

“How long did he keep you locked up?” Walter continued to ask me questions.

Cat came back with food. “Walter, I love you but the poor girl just escaped from your brother. Let her have a moment to enjoy what she’s been given.”

I took the bowl of soup and ate it, not even caring that it was burning my tastebuds off. The warmth of the broth slid down my throat and heated my insides. It was a wonderful feeling.

Once I’d finished, Cat took the bowl back to the kitchen. When she returned, she helped me up. “Let’s get you into a hot bath. You look like you need one.” She led me to a bathroom. She drew a bath and poured in lots of bubbles. She took the blankets from me and I stepped into the tub, sitting down.

She grabbed a cloth to help me wash myself.

“One of these days we should get a doctor over here to examine you.” She looked at the bruises on my body. “I just want to see what kind of damage was done.”

I nodded as I smiled at her. I knew it seemed out of place but this woman was so kind to me. Why? “Dankeschön.”

She helped me wash my hair and got me out of the bath. She wrapped a towel around me and grabbed my cheeks. “We are going to keep you safe. Will is not going to be a threat any longer. Walter took you in and he will keep his promise. He always does.”

I nodded again. She grabbed some clothes and I put them on myself. It was weird to be so clean after so long. I hadn’t been cleaned since the last time it rained while I was outside for my ten minutes.

The bruises were much more prominent now that my skin was no longer caked with dirt. I had so much to learn while I was here and English would be the first. I knew some English but I hadn’t been able to actively listen to it when I was hidden from the world. Will wasn’t eager to have conversations.

Will, the man who’d tried to break me down to build me up into his own slave, was finally gone from my life. I was free.