What is your opinion?
Not too shabby :)
"Hi there! This was definitely a good start! Your story is very intriguing. I'd like to see what happens next! I like the unusual names. It honestly makes me think of an anime I've been watching. Is that a little stereotypical? Was that what you were going for? I apologize if I offend; I didn't check where you were from before I started reading. Anyhoo! The one thing I'd say about your story that could need some tuning would be your grammar. Commas are usually used to separate dialogue from the person who is speaking, unless the speaker shouts or is full of emotion. Then a question mark or exclamation mark is used. "You'd like that?" she asked. Or; "Now off you go," chuckled the Chief. Or: "You're so aggravating!" he raged. Once that's spruced up, it will be something spectacular! Keep up the good work! :)"
Asleep
"Was engaged with the story but was slightly disappointed that it didn't satisfy with what was initially promised in the blurb. It had potential and I found the plot and characters quite interesting. Keep up the good work. A few grammatical errors but very enjoyable overall and would definitely recommend if it was continued and explored further."
