Untitled chapter
The Coldvir-20 Killer
“No Grandma! Why did you die so young?”
The effeminate hipster Nathan Mortimer wiped a tear from his eyes with his facemask, exposing the green-dyed beard below. The few times Nathan had ever reflected over his grandmother’s passing, he had always seen it as a Hollywood moment. In his vision, the whole family had gathered at her deathbed to hear her final words. The reality was much bleaker. Nathan’s parents were out of state and they had no intention to return to Victoria and indefinite house arrest to see the old beloved lady croak over. As for Nathan he had been too late to the hospital. Spending his last money on soy lattes had been an unwise move as he couldn’t afford an Uber ride to the hospital.
A female doctor approached Nathan and spoke:
So, you must be Emma’s grandson? I am sorry about the loss of your grandma, but I can assure you she didn’t suffer.
The doctor’s nonchalant attitude angered Nathan and he exclaimed:
Mmphhr, fuckmws, hmmph.
The doctor gave him a confused look and replied:
Pardon me?
Nathan took off his face diaper and replied:
I am sorry. I can’t speak properly through the facemask when I am upset.
A nurse came rushing towards them with a new facemask, but the doctor waved her away, took off her mask, and gave Nathan a sympathetic smile. The doctor said:
I understand. It is hard to lose someone. However, she lived longer than most and she died peacefully. Were you close to her?
Nathan reflected over his answer. He had never been close to his grandma because she came from an Eastern European communist country and she had a thick foreign accent. Worst of all, she disliked communism and the self-proclaimed Supreme Leader of the state of Victoria, Ms Danielle Anders. Nathan:
Not really. But it is hard to lose someone so early. I thought we would have many years to mend our broken relationship.
The doctor gave Nathan a confused look and replied:
Lose someone so early? Emma was 95 years old and she had cancer, diabetes, and kidney failure. It is a miracle that she lived long enough to die from Coldvir-20.
Nathan:
I don’t believe in miracles. I only trust in Marx ideologies, the science, and gender-neutral bathrooms.
Doctor:
Oh, you are one of those people. I need to get back to my other patients, but the hospital will be in touch so you can organise the funeral of your dear grandmother.
Having said this, the doctor rushed off, realising the pointlessness in arguing with an unemployed radical left-wing hipster, and because she actually had a job to do.
Nathan gave the doctor a death-stare, and feelings off passive-aggressive progressivism overwhelmed him. Nathan wanted revenge. But how could he make the doctor’s life miserable through leveraging the powers of cancel culture? The doctor hadn’t been racist, homophobic, or denying climate change. Downplaying the tragedy in grandma Emma’s death could cause some uproar on Reddit. However, since the doctor had a job, she wouldn’t be lurking in the left wing forums in any case.
When Nathan was reflecting over his revenge, his eyes caught something crucial. It was a list of people that had tested positive for Cold virus 20 in Brunswick, Victoria in the latest month. His grandmother had lived at a nursing home in Brunswick and one of the people on this list could be the careless science-denier that had murdered his grandmother through spreading the terrible virus. Filled with a new purpose in life, Nathan grabbed the list, determined to find his grandma’s murderer.
***
