The Betrayal

"The story starts strongly enough plot-wise, but there are many technical mistakes that pull you out of the story constantly. First of all, there are some points where you switch from 3rd person POV to 1st within the same paragraph which just makes no sense. Is a narrator talking or your main character? There are also a lot of misplaced commas that make the reader pause in the middle of a sentence with no reason at all. I'd suggest using an online editor like Grammarly to fix those alongside other technical mistakes. The plot is interesting though so far. Keep up the hard work!"