Konstantina88P

Coventry , UK

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Mysterious roommate

There were some major grammar errors that made it impossible to finish reading the story. Punctuation is easy to fix with an online editor, but there are missing prepositions, while the author confuses words and keeps mixing up the tenses.
I cannot offer an opinion plot-wise as I only managed to get through the first 3 chapters, but the flow was pretty stilted and, in some cases, just a jumbled mess of info dump.
The story needs major re=writes, in my honest opinion.
Keep up the hard work!

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Warrior Mate

I started enjoying the story more when the chapters became longer as it didn't seem to move forward before. There are quite a few technical mistakes as well but a good edit can fix those. The plot is a bit cliche but the mystery only just started so I'm waiting on that.
The cover is gorgeous by the way.
Keep up the hard work!

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Wayward Lords

The story has very nice descripti0ns. You can picture everything vividly. However, there were a couple of things that made it hard to read. First of all, there were too many names mentioned (both people and places) in the prologue. I had to concentrate to realize and remember what is what and who is who and it pulled me out of the story. Also, you should consider breaking the paragraphs into smaller ones. I noticed that, in many places even as the story progressed, the descriptions go on and on and there's no much dialogue between them. To me, that was quite tiresome because I prefer the characters to interact more.
Other than that, the plot was really interesting. Keep up the good work!

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Cupid's heart

There are too many grammar errors that make the story hard to read and enjoy. You should consider editing it once or twice and then re-posting. Also, the plot moves too fast without explaining a lot of things. I'd suggest slowing it down a bit.

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The girl who lived in the shadow

An interesting mystery. The interconnection between the two girls, Hana and Monica, is nicely set up and very intriguing. Small town murder suspense that can unfold into a great story.

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Her alpha, his omega

I enjoyed this story, It was well written and edited. My only suggestion is to shorten the chapters as they can get tiresome. Keep up the good work!

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Good worldbuilding

I liked the worldbuilding at the beginning. I particularly enjoyed the little tidbits of greek mythology. It took me a while to get all the names straight, but as I kept reading it got easier. There weren't any noticeable grammar or punctuation errors. One thing I'd suggest is to separate your dialogue bits when 2 different characters speak.

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Peace and war

I don't normally go for full-on erotica, so it wouldn't be fair to comment on the plot.
That being said, your story is very well-written and structured. I liked that the chapters were short and to the point. Also, Anastasia's emotions were conveyed in a manner that made the reader empathise with the terror and confusion she felt. I sense Stockholm syndrome.
Keep up the great work!

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39 minutes

I enjoy the story so far. You write clearly and manage to portray emotions well enough.
A unique, to me, storyline that can't wait to see how it plays out.
Keep it up!

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Divine

I love Greek mythology, and your twist on it makes it even more interesting. Everyone expects Hades to be cold, slowly melting under Persephone's love. It was so nice seeing him loving and caring from the get-go.

There are a few punctuation mistakes but they can go away with an edit and make the story close to perfect. Another thing I'd suggest is to shorten some of the chapters.

Keep up the great work!

By the way, I'm greek so I understand what "Kore" means. Maybe, though, you need to add a sidenote?

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Her bleeding heart

The concept of your story is interesting, though a bit fast-paced at certain places. Also, some clarifications might be necessary early on. Like, if the protagonist is living alone and how is she allowed to if she was orphaned at 14. In addition, you mention in one chapter that she doesn't speak, yet in the next, she interacts with some newly introduced characters. Maybe you should explain selective mutism?
Other than that, a few grammar mistakes but another edit should fix those easily.
Keep up the good work!

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Falling for a Korean

Your story has an interesting premise. However, I have a few suggestions that will maybe help with your writing.
First of all, after commas and full-stops and every punctuation mark, you should leave an empty space. Else the text is too condensed to be read easily. In addition, you should add more descriptions instead of constant dialogue. Currently, it's like reading a travel itinerary, just a list of things to do. Finally, I'd separate the first chapter into 2 different ones, one for each day, as the theme changes.

Keep up the hard work!

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The rearrangement

I like this story a lot so far! The dynamics between the characters are well written and all of your characters have managed to surprise me with their behaviour. I'm looking forward to more interactions between Adam and Carter.

On the technical side, yours must be one of the most well-written stories I've read in here, regarding both grammar and punctuation.

To sum up, hurry up and finish this!

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Crimson bond memory

Let me just start by saying that due to the age of the protagonists in the first couple of chapters and their behaviour and thoughts, your story should have a warning. In addition, it really needs a lot of work. There are entire paragraphs with no full stops, you put dialogue from different characters inside the same paragraph and you have so many unnecessary comas that at some point become hindering. I'd suggest an online editor to fix the majority of punctuation problems.

Plot-wise, it was ok, I guess, but I had difficulty going through the text. Also, when you do your world-building, you should consider planting the necessary info in and around your story instead of giving us huge chunks of data with no feelings.

Keep up the hard work.

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Spirit of fire

You have built a very interesting world, so beautifully described. There are a lot of details in the chapters and maybe you could eliminate some of those to make the chapters shorter and easier to read, but, still, it never got boring.
The dynamics between the characters were great and made all of the protagonists likeable, even the evil ones.
One thing that felt a little off is that I couldn't decipher the characters' ages. Are they YA? NA? Perhaps you already mention it and I missed it, in which case I'm sorry!
Keep up the great work!

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Fairytale gone bad

It is a well-thought-out mystery, but the execution a bit confusing. I'm not talking about revealing everything from the start, but you could provide more background information within the chapters to make the reading less tedious. Furthermore, you can't even tell who is speaking sometimes.

Regarding the technical skills, there are quite a few punctuation mistakes. For instance, I noticed you are using too many commas. A free editor could help with that.

Keep up the hard work!

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The Willow Rise six

A mix between The Magnificent 7 and Six of Crows. I love both of these, so I really enjoy your story so far.

There are only a few typos and technical mistakes that are easy to fix with an editor. One thing I'd suggest is to make Sam's chapters a bit more equal to the others' as they are now disproportionate and seem to leave quite a few of Sam's thoughts and backstory out of the plot.

All in all, a great job! Keep up the excellent work.

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The last

You've done a very good job so far. The world-building is great and the dynamics between the characters well described and interesting.
A few things could be improved (see my comments underneath the chapters for those) and you could improve grammar and punctuation by using an online editor.
I'm looking forward to more updates!

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Interesting

The story starts with an interesting twist: your female protagonist running away with not who you expected her to. That kept me hooked. There are a lot of mistakes regarding punctuation and grammar. I know that we all try to edit as much as we can, but there are online editors that can help a lot. You should consider checking those out.
Keep up the good work.

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Tormented

I lIked the story a lot! Just enough mystery in every chapter to keep me curious. There are very few grammar mistakes that can be easily fixed with an online editor or something to make the book close to perfect.
I also liked the change of POVs so that we got to know what both characters were thinking.
Keep up the great work!

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The truth behind his mask

At first glance, I liked the premise of the story. The plot can be powerful with the correct tools. A few suggestions:
a) Pick a tense and stick to it. You switch between past and present simple a lot, and it gets confusing
b) Consider putting the characters' thoughts in italics to separate them from the rest of the text because right now they read as a whole block where points of view are switched without explanation.
c) The writing style is, for me, not pleasant to read. I noticed that you keep breaking up your sentences, ending in sentences not well-structured, and sometimes without even a verb. It's ok to do it once or twice to emphasize something, but you seem to write only in that form.
d) It needs a thorough combing-through, but that's not that important at this stage I think.
I hope these points help a bit. Keep up the hard work!

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I am Kaspar

You do a very good job regarding world-building. I have a few pointers, though, apart from the fact that it needs good editing which you already note yourself.

First of all, 4 children born at the same time are not called twins but quadruplets. A minor detail maybe but it stuck with me while I was reading. I have also left some comments with things you should look into.
Finally, the tone of your book, its inner voice if you want, doesn't seem fitting. While I was reading, I thought that I was dealing with 15-17 year-olds, not 5 years old kids. No 5-year-old has that kind of sinister and consistent thinking and speach. Sure, you explain about Kaspar, but everyone doing it doesn't make much sense. That's my take on it, anyway.

Keep up the good work!

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Crazy rich kids

The premise of a story set in a mental health institute was interesting, at first, but it soon lost that vibe. None of the characters behaves like they are in a psychiatric ward, and it feels more like summer camp. There was definitely a lot of giggling (you do use that word a lot) and the characters' behaviour doesn't instil any sense of mental health problems, especially in the way they talk about their condition to strangers and how they treat themselves and their own problems. I need to see some darkness in such characters, and not schoolgirls giggling at each other, so maybe try adding some levels.

Punctuation could use a bit of work, too.
Keep up the hard work!

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Evermore

A hooking plot, I won't lie. However, there were quite a few technical mistakes. Punctuation needs a lot of work (you can use an online editor for this), but the most obvious one was that you kept repeating the same words over and over again in the same paragraph. There are many examples of this throughout the text. I t is ok once or twice if you want to give emphasis to something, but it gets tiresome after a while.
Keep up the good work!

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Alpha's faire

I like the story a lot so far. There are a few punctuation errors, though, so you should consider an online editor to get rid of those. I'd also suggest shortening the chapters as they can be quite tiresome.
Keep up the good work!

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The Betrayal

The story starts strongly enough plot-wise, but there are many technical mistakes that pull you out of the story constantly.

First of all, there are some points where you switch from 3rd person POV to 1st within the same paragraph which just makes no sense. Is a narrator talking or your main character?
There are also a lot of misplaced commas that make the reader pause in the middle of a sentence with no reason at all. I'd suggest using an online editor like Grammarly to fix those alongside other technical mistakes.

The plot is interesting though so far.
Keep up the hard work!

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Torn between mates

The plot was a bit too slow for me. The first 6 chapters just kept repeating the same information; that the protagonist has her birthday soon and hopes she's the alpha's mate. It was a bit tedious, to be honest. I'd suggest being done with the birthday in the first 3 chapters at the most, and then go on with the twist.

As far as world-building goes, it felt like an info-dump instead of making the reader engage their imagination. It's a mythical world, so there should be some "magic" in reading the story.

There weren't many grammar mistakes so it was quite easy to read.
Keep up the hard work!

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I hear you

The plot of the story was unique to me and I enjoyed the premise quite a lot. There were lots of technical mistakes, though, hence the three stars.

Apart from punctuation mistakes, you also mix-up the tenses a lot. You keep switching from past to present simple, sometimes within the same sentence. Also, some of the dialogue bits are a bit confusing... Quite a few times I couldn't understand who was speaking and had to make an educated guess. That was because while the same person was speaking, you were breaking his short dialogue into different paragraphs which usually means that we have a different speaker. There's a different punctuation mark if you want to break dialogue into different paragraphs, and that could help the reader along.

All in all, it was an interesting read. if you fix the things I mentioned, my 3 stars could easily turn into four.
Keep up the hard work!

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Recrudescence

The main character of this story is quite possibly the most interesting character I've read recently. I can't decide whether she is schizophrenic or she has some kind of power. The first would be really great to see.
That being said, there are a lot of grammar and punctuation mistakes that make the text hard to read. You should also shorten your paragraphs to make it less tiring. If those are fixed, my 3 stars can definitely become 4!
Keep up the good work!

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Reign

The story is very promising, but the world-building falls a bit flat. Although very imaginative in general, you should consider enriching your descriptions instead of having your main character spitting out information. I also suggest using an online editor regarding punctuation as there are quite a few mistakes.
Overall, the plot so far is interesting. Keep up the hard work!

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The power of knowledge

I love the story so far, though certain points immediately drive you to think of a very well-known wizardry world. There weren't any significant grammar or punctuation mistakes. All in all, the story was worth it to read.
Keep up the good work!

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In the V sights

The plot can turn out to be interesting, but as it is now there are a few issues. First of all, there's too much dialogue. You should consider broadening your descriptions a bit. The whole "show, don't tell" thing, you know? Secondly, the way Julian changes how he talks from medieval kind of speak to using expressions like "fuck", kind changes his entire character. Stick to one. Furthermore, you change the tenses quite a lot, from present simple to past simple within the same scene and while the same character is narrating. It can be quite confusing.
There are also a few punctuation mistakes but those could be easily fixed.
Keep up the hard work!

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The lone alpha wolf

The plot of the abandoned wolf-baby could be interesting. However, there's no structure to the story. It reads more like a writer's hasty notes. Also there are too many punctuation mistakes that should be edited out to make the text more easy to read.

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An alpha's vixen

While it adds some twists to the usual shifters story by adding different species, some parts read a little bit too unnatural. The interactions between the characters and the dialogue bits could use some smoothening. Also, I'm not really fond of the ''mates lose their minds and jump to bed'' trope, even if that's what most books under this category do. You should give more depth to their relationship, an advise I'd give to everyone. Finally, a bit more details and world-building would be nice. Punctuation and grammar are not too bad, though it needs editing since you seem to be confusing some words.
Keep up the hard work!

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Trials

I did like the plot of the story and the premise of the time jump. However, there are quite a few technical issues. First of all, especially in the prologue, you keep mixing up the tenses, jumping from present simple to past simple which make reading it a bit difficult. In addition, I'd suggest shortening your chapters as too long chapters are quite tiresome. Finally, punctuation needs work, but not too much that took me out of the story. Keep up the hard work!

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Xavier's Rose

I liked the fact that the protagonists connected from their childhood. However, the plot is a bit slow and it feels like the book is going to be really long without giving many cliffhangers and surprises to keep the interest. Grammar and punctuation needs work, too. Maybe grammarly could help.
Keep up the hard work!

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Searching for acceptance

I enjoyed the story a lot. Hoping for an update! The plot was interesting, with just enough mystery to keep me entertained, and the female character was unusual for this kind of stories. Kudos on that!
The only thing that I didn't like, or understand, is that she had a panic attack walking outside, but on the next page she was meeting family and going to Vegas. It felt like a plot hole.
Other than that, it was great. Keep up the good work!

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Sold to your king

Ok, first of all, the female protagonist, Freya, was all over the place. She started as a sweet, scared girl, and literally on the next page she fell in love with someone who she called an abuser in the same breath. Also, she's just as bad as him in the end, in a way that doesn't make her a strong character but a twisted one. Now, I don't mind dark, murderous characters, but it felt like there was no explanation at all for her transformation.

For the technical part, there were parts were you used the wrong words (eg wear instead of were) that could be fixed with a good edit. Consider using an online editor that would also help with punctuation (like grammarly).
Keep up the hard work!

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What lies inside

The story tries to set up a mystery but it feels like it fell short, mainly due to not vivid enough descriptions. Also, the author keeps mixing up the tenses, from present to past simple, which disturbs the reading flow. I'd suggest fixing those first of all.

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Beasts of men

While the plot was interesting, there were many technical problems with the story. The flow was confusing, jumping from one place to another and new names popping up without explanation. The punctuation at times was all over the place and a lot of sentences seemed to cut off abruptly. I'd suggest a hard edit and you should also consider an online editor (like grammarly) to help with punctuation.
Keep up the hard work!

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Unspoken love

I loved everything about this story, from the background info to the perfectly described darkness of each character. I definitely recommend it

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Aureum

The plot seems interesting but it's buried under quite a lot of technical errors. Most of the time, you don't understand who is talking. Punctuation is also missing from a lot of places. Furthermore, I'd suggest finding a way to incorporate your character's description into the story instead of writing a few lines about him in its own chapter.
Keep up the hard work!

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Interesting!

The plot is really interesting with a dynamic start. I was a bit confused with the timeline at first, with all the back and forth, but ok. Also, a lot of the sentences are too short, cutting abruptly. I'm not sure I like that style of writing, but in your case it made the story more tense which was nice.
A few grammatical errors, especially regarding the tenses you use, but nothing that a good edit can't fix.
Keep up the good work!

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My sister's wedding

The story has promise but I prefer to see the characters interacting more instead of just telling us about the relationships. Alexis' reaction also seemed a bit over the top, but that's just for my tastes. Good job!

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The enchantress and the demon dragon

I liked the descriptions in the story! The plot is promising, though I'd like to read more in order to have a full opinion. A few grammar mistakes that can be fixed with a good edit. Keep up the good work!

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The assassins' beast

The plot is interesting, though a little predictable as you can tell they're mates from the first chapters. I like a little bit more mystery to it! There are quite a few typos, grammar and punctuation errors that pull you out of the story sometimes. You should look into editing the story a bit more. All in all, an enjoyable read! Keep up the good work!

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The Scarlet Demon

The plot was interesting and the mythology and world-building pretty great. However, there are a lot of things that aren't sufficiently explained and make the plot confusing, hence the 4 stars. Keep up the good work!

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The curse of the white rose

The story has some really nice descriptions. The plot was like a fairytale that could be easily be a full-length novel, but the short story did it justice, too. Maybe I'd shorten some of the chapters as long chapters get tiresome, but that's just me.
Keep up the good work!

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The Eldian tales

The story has promise. Apart from separating your dialogue bits to their own paragraph, the way you divide your story into chapters needs work, too, as you change the chapter while the same scene plays out. The relationship between the two main characters should go deeper, as you have them behaving like brothers but there's no actual bonding happening.
Keep up the hard work!

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Good job!

A very realistic portrayal of the struggles of an orphaned girl. Your writing was nice and there were only a few typos. The end was too good to be true, but fit well with the hopeful image the story portrayed. Good job!

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Stranded in thoughts

The writing got confusing a lot of times. The pace was too slow for me, and there was no immediate connection between your opening chapter and the rest of the story. I also think you should provide a list of the foreign words you use and their meaning in English at the end of each chapter. I had to google some, like "Sinturon Ni Hudas."
Keep up the hard work!

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Split the deck

The character with the multiple personality disorder is very interesting. The writing, though, needs a little bit of refining since the story gets confusing some times. The plot is very promising! Keep up the good work!

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The girl who stopped time

One of the best stories I've read on inkitt. Unique plot, great world-building, and a strong female character. It needs a sequel!
A few grammar mistakes, though. You keep mixing up your-you're, were-we're, and to-too. Fix these up and your book will be awesome.

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Ray of sunshine

Some suggestions to the author:
1. The world building is a bit flat. You should consider enriching your descriptions.
2. Your chapters are too small and it doesn't make sense how you separate them. They don't move the plot forward.
3. A lot of punctuation and grammar mistakes. You should consider an online editor.

All these made it quite difficult to follow and enjoy the story. Perhaps a good edit can change all that.
Keep up the hard work!

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Nice plot!

I enjoyed reading this story. Plot wise, it was really interesting and it had many twists. You can't even decide who you want the love interest to be, yet. The only thing that I'd consider in need of fixing is the cousins that keep coming out of nowhere. It's like you invented them just to get the protagonist out of difficult situations, and then gave them a backstory as an afterthought. That's how I read it, anyway.
For the technical part, a few punctuation mistakes and some sentences which need shortening.
A lot of potential for this story!

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Interesting

The story has an interesting beginning, especially the one with the police station at the very first lines. There are a few grammar mistakes. One thing I suggest is to separate the dialogue bits. When different people speak, it shouldn't be in the same paragraph. Keep up the good work!

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Destined to the Alpha

The story started to turn good only halfway through. For the first half, I wasn't overly fond of how spineless Jade was when it came to Jordan. In general, I don't enjoy the books that have the characters just falling in love because of a mate bond without even knowing each other. It screams manipulation to me. That being said, when she started getting her own powers the story was nice. If you edit a few technical errors it'd be even better!

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Mr. Nerd

The story is promising and the double identity intriguing. There are a lot of technical mistakes, though, that make the chapters hard to read. For one thing, you should consider shortening your sentences instead of jumbling everything together. Your grammar needs a bit of work, too. Keep up the good work!

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Good story

The story starts with an interesting twist. Emotions are well described. Keep it up!

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Great!

The story has some really good descriptions. The world-building and the mythology behind it are pretty great, too. The pace quick and providing as much info as necessary to keep it interesting. I really enjoyed this!

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Cassandra

I did not enjoy the plot of the story. All characters, Jan especially, were unlikable. Technically, it was good enough. I'd suggest to shorten your paragraphs and try not to use too much dialogue.

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North AMerican Werewolves

The story was okay, although it had a plot hole that put me off almost from the start. The romance between the protagonists was too abrupt. In fact, I wouldn't even call it romance, considering that they just announced to her that she's the king's mate while she had just learned about werewolves, and she just accepted that and they got together. Also, she was the chosen mate of one of his friends who just handed her over like a piece of meet. These two facts made it unable for me to read further, I'm afraid.

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Coming home to you

I liked the writing style a lot, but the end was a bit too cheesy for my tastes. The only other issues I found was a tense mix-up, where simple present turned to past present within the same paragraph. A couple of typos as well. Other than that, the whole experimenting thing and a strong female character were really interesting.

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Good dynamics

The dynamics between the characters hook you in right from the start. Great beginning and well written. Keep this up!

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No connection

Your plot is a bit confusing. You should consider defining the timeline a little bit better. Also, I didn't feel any connection between your protagonists. The female character especially was really unlikable. It just didn't make any sense, her obsession with Max. I'd suggest to strengthen their background and motivations.
A few technical errors as well.

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Sorry

I'm so sorry but I didn't manage to finish reading your uploaded chapters. There are severe issues with the English language that make the book unreadable and the plot chaotic. I didn't get what the plot was supposed to be about.
I'd suggest combing through it. As it is now, it needs a lot of editing.

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Kara

I enjoy the story so far. The strong female character is a big plus. Keep those chapters coming!

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Good plot

I liked the plot of the story. However, you should consider shortening your sentences and using punctuation to make it easier to read. The dragon character was a nice touch. With a good editing, your story could turn out great!

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Good plot

I liked the plot of the story. However, you should consider shortening your sentences and using punctuation to make it easier to read. The dragon character was a nice touch. With a good editing, your story could turn out great!

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Alpha of Aberdeen

The story has potential. The dialogue though felt stilted and I'd suggest to also enrich your descriptions instead of simply narrating what the characters are doing as they''re doing it. It felt like reading from a list. There also are quite a few technical errors. With a good edit it could turn into a nice story.

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Fairytale with a twist

An interesting twist of a popular fairytale. The timeline, though, is a bit confusing, as is how the protagonists travel from one universe to another using the carpet. Character depth and motivation could also use a little bit more work.
Keep up the good work!

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Check the tenses

The story could be made more enjoyable if you work on the tenses. Present simple suddenly becomes past simple, and sometimes within the same sentence. Keep up the good work!

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Needs editing

A lot of technical errors, especially regarding English and grammar, that made the work hard to read. I'd suggest a few rounds of editing. Keep up the effort!

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Red Woods

The mystery created with the dream sequence was interesting. I felt though that there were too many dialogue bits. You should try to be a bit more descriptive, especially emotionally. Also, the summary should allude to the paranormal aspect of the story.

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Time to play

I found the stories simply describing acts, and not stirring any emotions. They fell a little flat to me. Also, the 2nd person POV of the last chapter was a bit unusual and threw me off. The stories were well edited though, with only a couple typos.

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Fallen crown

I wasn't very fond of the POV changes inside the same chapter. May I suggest keeping each chapter to one person's POV, or write from the POV of an all-knowing narrator? There were a few typos and technical errors as well. The plot could have potential with a bit more explanations, like the German that keep popping up.

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Brimstone

I really enjoyed this story as it was well written. The mystery was interesting and the main character was well plotted-out. Keep up the good work!

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Rouge or rogue?

I'm not really sure about the use of the word 'rouge'. Perhaps it's 'rogue' instead? Other than that, there are quite a few technical mistakes in it, too. The story, though, could be really powerful.

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Shows promise

The story has a lot of promise. What I'd suggest is to try and make the descriptions a bit more colorful instead of simply narrating facts. A few repetitive words, like ''king'' which shows up a lot, need a way around them. A few grammar mistakes as well. The story could do with another edit. I also suggest a hook-me-in chapter at first, before jumping to what is basically an outline of the story. At least that's what works for me as a reader.

3 stars overall!

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The War

I love how you've set up the beginning of your story. It manages to catch the attention right from the very first sentence. Your writing style is interesting; it's been ages since I've read something that much different. A few grammar and punctuation mistakes, but nothing a good edit cannot fix. Overall, it is really well-written so far.
Keep up the great work!

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