Intro: Welcome to my Uncommon Life
"Dedicated to Carol Lints and her son Joseph, both long gone, but never forgotten."
Hiya everybody! I’m Johnny, although I also respond to both JJ and JD quite well. No, I’m not suffering from some kind of multiple personality disorder, but as someone once wisely said, I’ve got more names than you can shake a stick at, assuming you have a stick to shake.
If you’ve landed here, you’re probably after a good rip-roaring yarn, aren’t ya? Right now, you’re in the process of deciding whether this particular story is worth your precious time that could be spent otherwise. Well, that judgment largely depends on your expectations and personal barometer for unique styled-tales. Are you a fan of heart-wrenching tragedy, and ready to feel the pangs of sadness and perhaps let a tear or two escape? Or do you relish a hearty chuckle and delight in reading about life’s absurdities, especially when they happen to someone other than yourself?
Or perhaps you’re in the mood for some wild, strange adventures, insane yet true escapades that might defy belief, yet are as real as you are now. My life stories are often so absurd that they might as well be classified as fiction, but rest assured, every word is as true as the itch on your nose.
That’s why I’m here – to regale you with these incredibly true stories and, who knows, maybe introduce you to a strange existence you never knew existed, mine.
How about a taste of sheer madness and youthful exuberance and folly? Imagine an abused child, unwanted and unloved by their own monstrous flesh and blood relatives, and eventually cast aside by society itself. Picture a brilliant budding young mind, so full of innocence, slowly but surely losing it while thrust into horrifying circumstances that no child should ever have to endure.
Are you up for a tale of unrelenting poverty and hopelessness in the good ol’ 'civilized" USA? Picture a penniless, homeless young lad roaming the vast expanse of this great country alone, with nothing but the clothes on his back and the wits within his own skull. Where survival hinged on very unconventional intelligence, cunning, sheer stubbornness, and an absolute unyielding refusal to let life’s hardships dictate fate.
As my tales unfold, evolving into an utterly destitute young man, adrift on the unforgiving streets and highways of America, willing to do just about anything to see the light of another day. All the while learning some harsh truths along the way about greed and the pervasive corruption that taints the so-called American dream.
If you do decide to hang around and read on, I can promise you four things.
First, these true stories of mine will be nothing short of fascinating, offering a glimpse into entirely new horizons and perhaps sparking more than a few unconventional thoughts about what we consider "reality" itself. It’s a one-of-a-kind journey, no doubt about it.
Second, I’m here to challenge your own thinking, to make you ponder beyond the confines of the box, and often deliberately make you fidget uncomfortably. I was born a dark-inclined philosopher at heart, but there's no reason we cannot laugh on this shared road to damnation no? To comprehend the full implications of my life story requires grasping a new perspective to see my unusual "take" on reality. So, now and then, we’ll dive into some thought-provoking conversations – always intrinsically tied to the present story.
Third, I am not a "professional writer", and my tales are raw and purposely unedited (but don't mistake raw for illegible). They are exactly as they need to be to tell such a powerfully moving human tale, the way it should be told, as if a conversation between two friends. As I speak, so I write. For me there is no difference. I can guarantee that this narrative won’t follow conventional storytelling 'rules'. This isn’t just an empty statement; it’s a plain fact, I know what’s in store for us both. These unique tales will keep you on your toes. Not perfect, but will be perfectly understood, without a doubt.
And finally four, don’t expect a quick read here. I’ve got something truly exceptional to share, and it deserves to be told properly, in its own sweet time. This isn’t just a story; it’s an epic, my life is an odyssey in every sense of the word. Like the Viking songs of old legends.
If I’ve done my job right, you will struggle to put this book down. Sure, it’s a bit on the lengthy side, but it’s worth every ounce of your attention and time, and who wants a good story to end anyway?
This tale is a fun authentic medley of all the above – tragedy, comedy, madness, absurdity, joy, and weird irony. If my voice resonates with you thus far, you’ve probably figured that out by now.
So, find a cozy spot somewhere as lazy cats do, pour a strong drink (believe me, you’ll want one, perhaps even a few), and prepare. We’re taking a trip back to the 1970s, to a unique city by a lake named Buffalo, NY. I’ll be your trusty guide, confidante, and narrator on this epic journey we’re about to embark upon. Let’s dive into these murky depths together, shall we? Mysteries and wonders await friend. Imagine, if you will, an extraordinarily unusual life, and away we go. Here take my hand, we'll depart together...
