What is your opinion?
sweet story
"So I explained pretty much everything in the comments, haha but I'll try and make this as detailed as possible so that you understand what I mean in some parts :) The story overall is sweet .. it's sweet that you thought of writing something like this .. about dragons and so forth .. dragons do make pretty wonderful stories and although everyone likes writing about them .. each one is unique though :) The plot of the story needs more explaining .. although one can make out where she is .. it would be nice to have a little more details about her surrounding .. I'm not saying to drown everyone in details but just have a look at that sweetie :) The characters -- they all have their own identities and that's good .. a good thing .. we, as the readers can see who and what they are .. names are good and their appearances are good :) The summary is nicely done :) it's sweet and explains what needs explaining .. I want to talk about the-third-person and the-first-person :) When you use POV .. use the slash Inkitt provides and then announce their POV .. I also have books that jump between POV's and first and third person .. it's not a bad thing to type like this .. it just means there's more opportunity for the characters to be introduced :) Your writing style is unique but can also be matured by learning .. lots of learning :) it's not a bad thing to type and post .. really it ain't .. you're still learning and that's a good thing because you have lots of room for experience and so forth :) As for the Grammarly .. like I said in the comments .. ProWritingAid and Grammarly are your best tools to fight against hidden grammar :) you want to try those to help in situations where you don't understand what to do :) it's not bad to post but like I said .. try to advance yourself :) learn from other's and I know you'll become better with each draft you type sweetie :) Show-don't tell .. so we all know about those 3 little words .. they might be minor but they mean immense things .. her surrounding and her emotions are hidden in this book .. you could use this book to advance the emotions and the show so much that it shocks one in reading and wanting to know what is happening .. The part where she wakes up .. rather than explaining .. oh I just woke up and panting .. rather use something like this .. (Panting in my wake .. I clutch my chest horribly .. I refrain myself from moving for a few seconds .. mornings like this .. I don't want to think about them .. just want to push them away .. the burping in my stomach calls to the meal I have been longing for .. I press my chest softly and light shimmers as I shape into my dragon side -- then you explain how she looks as a dragon) Perhaps something like this would explain better what she is facing and feeling .. you don't have to use my words .. ofc your own .. but just saying, sweetheart :) Keep writing sweetie :) and never give up :) Don't take this as a bad review sweetie .. please understand am just trying to help you :) I'm not a perfect writer myself but I know some secrets to getting better and advancing yourself :) xoxo Gammateddy"
Great start
"I do like this start. Im curious to see where the author takes this story... nice job"
