What is your opinion?
Love it!
"Love this so far, such a fun story! The characters voices are distinct and unique, so props to you for doing that, especially in a story with POV switches. This may just be a preference on my part, but play around with starting a new paragraph each time a new person starts talking. In my experience, it helps the dialogue flow a bit better, especially in conversations between two characters. Nothing major, just something to play around with, I still thoroughly enjoyed the story regardless :) overall I’m hooked! Can’t wait to see what happens next! :) "
Fantastic
"Wow, I enjoyed reading the first couple of chapters you have. I have to say that your book pulled me in from the very first couple of sentences - that's something difficult to master, so really well done. I happen to really love Halloween, so that first paragraph was really great - until your character revealed she didn't like Halloween and my heart completely went out to her! Speaking of Halloween, it always reminds me of A Nightmare Before Christmas and I spent the first half of chapter 1 singing "This is Halloween". Your MC reminding me slightly of Jack. Ha! I love your furry friend, Cleo. I always love it when there is an animal with really good characteristic (her impatience), and you did this really well. Just a couple of tips: 1) I would recommend structuring your paragraphs and fine tuning it for the story to flow better, 2) Using a new line for dialog, and 3) clear indication that your prospective has changed in a new chapter. I didn't realise until a few lines down that it had changed. Overall, really great start and look forward to reading updates - I'm very interested to know what is up with the house!"
