Katie Reynolds

Good

There is a lot of potential here. I did like your plot - it is very unique and I would love to read more. I think you need to work on how to structure your sentences. I found it difficult to get through long texts as a full sentence. There is a lot of unnecessary inner dialogue and repetitiveness. This feels like a first draft (And I say that from experience. It sounds like how I would write my own first draft.). It needs going over and parts need to be changed for the reader to really see what is happening. You have a great story idea and I will be happy to read this again once you have polished to your final draft.

Good work - keep it up! Your skills as a writer will improve as long as you keep writing.

All the best,

Katie xx

A lovely start...

This is not typically the type of book that I would usually read but I enjoyed it very much. You have a really interesting plot and I would like to see how the rest of the book plays out. Is this your first book? Because you have a lot of potential as a writer here, really great ideas and are good at moving the plot forward. You have clearly put a lot of thought and effort into your work - so really well done!

Just some tips for improvement:

1) When writing a book with multiple voices it's best to stick to third person. First person is absolutely perfect when there is one voice but it can get really confusing when you're using first person with multiple characters. As the book progresses, it changes from first to third person and back again in multiple places in the same chapter - this can be very confusing for the reader. I think it's a great idea to change prospective as this can give you a great insight to another character. However, I would stick to one point of view per chapter (meaning either first or third, not both). If you prefer first person, I would only use it for one character and third for every other character.

2) When you wrote about Athena's mum's age. It stated she was "the head scientist at 29". Do you mean she is 29 or she achieved head scientist at 29? This needs to be clearer as I wasn't sure, the latter being more plausible,

3) There are some grammar and punctuation errors, nothing too major.

4) Try to structure your descriptions with more visual details to show the reader what is happening. This is something that will come with time. You have the base of the story so far, you just need some things fleshing out.

Overall, a really fantastic start! Keep up the hard work!

I hope I helped x

Fantastic start...

Wow, you really have a great opener here. I enjoyed reading the first few chapters that you have and I am excited to see what will happen next.

I love the chapter titles, it's something I've always wanted to do in my work but never managed to do it.
I like the characters a lot, especially the sarcasm they bring to the table. This helped me relate to the characters easier - I have a dark sense of humour.

I very much loved the reference at the bottom of the third chapter. It made me laugh. However, the winky face is grammatically incorrect. In this instance, you can break up a line of speech to show an action by saying something like:

"I can paint you like a French girl, Jack," He winked suggestively. "Or should I say Jake?"

Just a couple of tips for improvement would be: 1) The descriptions need a little fine tuning to improve the flow and pace of the story. 2) There are some grammar errors with capitalisation, full stops and commas in the wrong places instead of stand alone sentences.

However, other than that, I think you have real potential for this book and I would be interested to read any further updates.

I hope I helped x

A truly wonderful read

You have written a really fantastic book! I was hooked from the first chapter and I couldn't stop reading until I finished. It can be quite difficult for me to get into a new book but your writing style is brilliant! You're really good at keeping a steady pace, keeping the plot interesting. I love how you name each chapter - I think it's a lovely extra detail. Quite frankly, I need more!

Katie xx

Highly Recommend!

This is such a great book, it's very easy to get into and kept me interested throughout. I really hope there is a second book in the pipeline as I would love to read more. Vampire themed books is one of my favourite genres and I can read them easily. I thought the plot was fab! You have a great writing style! I am very intrigued by the magical book all about her life - it gives the book a nice edge. I hope this book gets a lot of reads for you.

All the best,

Katie xx

This is a must read.

If you are a fan of zombie novels, then you should definitely give this a go!

It is a very good read so far, as I’m on chapter 19 and really loving it. The story moves nicely after the first five chapters. I thought it seemed a bit slow at first but once passed that mark, it kept me hooked. There are a lot of moments, especially with the flashbacks, making the reader want to read more. You create a great description in the reader’s mind, it has kept me intrigued and entertained. This can be tough at sometimes, as my attention usually wavers after finding plot holes and mistakes. There are only the odd mistakes here and there. Very minor, I’d say. Some punctuation and capitalisation needs improving and there’s a large paragraph as a whole sentence. I am excited to see how the rest of the story unfolds. Your writing style is very good too! And, I love how the view points change. Overall, a really thrilling read!

If you wouldn’t mind, would you be able to check out my book too? The Hunter Series - Penelope. I’m hoping to get some more reviews/feedback to be able to improve.

https://www.inkitt.com/stories/fantasy/115616?ref=a_f33e7df9-b338-4555-8f57-5e2f9243cae7&started_reading=true

All the best,
Katie xx

Wow!

This is a book that really hooks you from the first page and its very hard to put down. There are very few grammatical errors and it seems very polished. I am very impressed with how the plot guides you and I found myself really rooting for your main character's. I've reached up to Chapter 15 and my favourite character so far is Nick! I like your fight scenes and how detailed they are - but sometimes it delays the story moving forward. Overall - well done Alex! Your book is amazing and I am so excited to see how this book ends!

All the best,
Katie x

Interesting read...

I do like a good wolf book and yours doesn't disappoint!

You have a really great way of describing your characters - it's clear and easily visualised. The same can be said with the action, it's interesting and you can keep the pace going very well.

You have beautifully laid out your paragraphs, shorter ones work really well with your story. I love the chapter names!

The only major thing I find that could be worked on is the dialog. There are times when it feels slightly robotic and 2D. However, this improves a lot from chapter 3. From that point, it's a lot easier to read.

There are the odd grammar mistakes but nothing too major and can easily be sorted.

Otherwise, a really fantastic book and I look forward to reading more!

Beautifully written...

This was such an enjoyable read! I thought the pace of the plot is absolutely spot on, you are giving the reader a small taster of the characters and leaving us wanting so much more! That is the perfect way to write a book. You want the reader to connect with your characters! You want the reader to be so invested in your story that it keeps them up at night, and saying to themselves "Just one more chapter."

That is how I am seeing your book. Addictive. Completely and utterly wonderful.

Your writing style is awe-inspiring, you give the right amount of description and dialog. Your work is so beautifully written that I got caught up in your story. So much so, that I didn't notice any punctuation or grammar errors. I can clearly see how much hard work you've put into this - so please keep up the excellent work!

This is without a doubt publishing worthy, so I wish you the best of luck xx

Fantastic

Wow, I enjoyed reading the first couple of chapters you have. I have to say that your book pulled me in from the very first couple of sentences - that's something difficult to master, so really well done.

I happen to really love Halloween, so that first paragraph was really great - until your character revealed she didn't like Halloween and my heart completely went out to her! Speaking of Halloween, it always reminds me of A Nightmare Before Christmas and I spent the first half of chapter 1 singing "This is Halloween". Your MC reminding me slightly of Jack. Ha!

I love your furry friend, Cleo. I always love it when there is an animal with really good characteristic (her impatience), and you did this really well.

Just a couple of tips: 1) I would recommend structuring your paragraphs and fine tuning it for the story to flow better, 2) Using a new line for dialog, and 3) clear indication that your prospective has changed in a new chapter. I didn't realise until a few lines down that it had changed.

Overall, really great start and look forward to reading updates - I'm very interested to know what is up with the house!

Good start

This is a really great first chapter, interesting and engaging. I look forward to reading more :)

Wow

I know you only have 2 chapters so far but I thought I would write a quick review now.

Your prologue seriously gripped me - it's been written so brilliantly! It can be difficult for me to get into a new book but the pace flowed so smoothly that I was able to empathise with your character from the beginning. This in turn, makes me want to read more.

I loved chapter 1 too and I will follow your book for updates.

Katie xx

Enjoyable

This is not the type of book that I would usually read but I have been enjoying it so far. The pace of the book is good, with a nice balance of description and dialog, this gives the reader enough time to form attachments to your characters. I like your writing style and I didn't notice any errors in grammar. You've clearly put a lot of hard work into writing your story! I am excited to see how it unfolds.

Well done! xx

Enjoyable Read

This is a lovely little page-turner - really enjoyed reading your book. So much so, that I finished it in one night. It's very engaging and very well thought out. Well done.

A good beginning

These two chapters are a great opening to your book. It has a good flow and pace. I am very intrigued as to what will happen next! I hope you continue to write your story as I would love to follow and read more when you have added more.

All the best,

Katie xx

Oh Wow!

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

This is an incredibly enjoyable read! It is a heart warming story that I found difficult to put down when I started reading. It is well written, the characters are well-developed and incredibly emotional. I would love to see this as a movie and can see this getting published!

I wish you all the best,

Katie xx

Enjoyable read.

The first chapter of your story hooked me to read on. It is a great opening chapter, where Devon has a very wayward personality. He likes to sleep around, go to clubs and all sorts. Throughout the book, he discovers the word of God and chooses to change his immoral lifestyle to a respectful and modest man. I am not overly religious. I don't follow any particular religion. However, I can see why people do love God and choose to go to church and whatnot. There were some parts I found difficult to read, some things I disagreed with but we all have opinions and our own ideas about life. I can appreciate how hard you have worked on this book. Overall, I did enjoy it and would recommend to potential readers.

There were some spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes but it didn't affect my ability to read this book to the end.

Well done!

All the best,

Katie xx

Wow

This book had me hooked from the first chapter. It is such a great story and I would highly recommend it. It is full of suspense and it has kept me entertained until the very last page. This book deserves to win Inkitt's competition. Grammar and punctuation can be easily worked on with their help. You have the story and the creativity. I really hope this book does well for you!

All the best,

Katie xx

Oh wow - a must read!

This book sent me on a whirl-wind of emotions. It was incredible. After reading the first chapter, I was so hooked, I spent the rest of the day reading it till the end. I love the way you have written it, the snarky and witty way Clair speaks made me laugh and smile occasionally. There are also certain parts that brought tears to my eyes. There's a lot of real emotions in this book and real issues. Clair's childhood made me feel so bad for her and the way her brother treated her was disgusting. Even the way the mother treated her as if it was the poor little girl's fault is even more shocking.

While extremely engrossed in your book, I forgot to watch out for grammar and spelling. Which is a first for me, so I commend you on your writing for keeping me focused on your book. I really hope you get this published because it is a must read. I will also share this to my facebook page, in the hope you get much-deserved reads.

All the best,

Katie xx

Great children's book

This is a great children's book. I think Sockland has a beautiful concept. Arnie takes you on this incredible journey to discover where socks go to. It was a good read. There were a few spelling mistakes, grammatical errors but with a proof-read - easily changed. However, I thought for a children's book I thought it was exceptional long, with long paragraphs of description, some of which unnecessary. Unfortunately, it stops the story going forward. I'm unsure if children will stay engaged for long. I am sure if you tighten your work up, this can be an exceptional book. I wish you all the best!

Would it be okay if you take a look at my book: Penelope - The Hunter Series. I'm looking for some more reviews/feedback. It would be much appreciated. https://www.inkitt.com/stories/fantasy/115616?started_reading=true

All the best,

Katie xx

A good attempt

I thought this was a good start but this needs some work. The plot is okay but I felt a bit bored at times.

There is a lot of potential here but it does need going over. Unfortunately, there are a lot of errors which make it hard to read. Sadly, I couldn’t complete the book because of this. Grammar, punctuation and spelling need to be worked on. There are a lot of sentences that don’t need to be so long and can be stopped with a period. I would recommend reading your book out loud as it is easier to spot the mistakes. Try to focus on the flow and the pace. Also try to find new ways to describe the scene and the way someone speaks. It’s perfectly OK to say ‘he said’ or ‘she said’ sometimes. I found ‘he informed’ too grating when it’s used all the time. I thought your characters were slightly robotic and bland. Unfortunately I don’t have any feelings for them, not yet anyway.

However, if this is the first book you have written then it is a good draft. So well done. It takes a lot of patience to write a book. It can take a person such a long time to get it perfect. But if you keep reviewing and editing until it is the best it can be - it could be a good book. I look forward to reading it again when its polished.

All the best,

Katie xx