Full of personality

"The speech in this story is what brings it to life! You get a real sense of the character's age, connection and emotions. I love these types of stories filled with mystery. I was also pleasantly surprised when I discovered the time setting was present day. The plot made this sound like a period drama - could be something you play around with in flashbacks or something? The plot is really interesting, but so much happens in a single chapter. Or perhaps this is a mini story? If not, you could have built tension by spreading out the description of the mansion on approach. There is almost a supernatural or paranormal aspect to the story, which could be really exploited. An excellent first chapter, well done!"