Chapter 1
It is probably every teenager’s dream to be a swashbuckling hero to a damsel in distress. It would be the most terrible of moments when all hope is lost, and the beautiful lady is in utmost danger of being eaten alive by a fiery dragon, ravaged by bandits or sacrificed to the god of vile and carnal pleasures. A dagger to her throat, teeth inches away from ripping her pretty head off, tied to a post wearing only the most revealing of flimsy white dresses. And then… and then… the hero would appear, sword in hand, cape flying majestically over his shoulders despite the absence of wind, a gleam in his eye and a glint in his smile, knowing he would escape victorious regardless of all the odds against him.
No wonder it’s a fantasy. I don’t believe people like them actually exist. The first time I tried saving a girl, I got a bruised eye, three broken ribs and a split lip. I think I even peed in my pants.
