Chapter 1
May 2019
I was here: I was finally here. The FARM. I exited the cab, but I couldn’t ponder on my thoughts because as soon as I stepped out, I was put straight out onto the field where the girls were. ‘I’m going to love it here.’ I thought as I made my way further along the field. It was beautiful out on the field; it was filled with lush green grass that was dotted with daisies and dandelions. It was a gorgeous sunny day, I was about to meet new friends, today was a new day. This was my first time away from home; from my mother and younger sisters. I wasn’t worried or scared. My family assured me that moving to The FARM was a natural part of our life, for our family and many others. They said I would make many friends that would eventually become like sisters to me. They know this as it had happened to my mother and older sisters.
I looked around the field and over to the neighbouring fields. Only females. I did not know why but who was I to question the traditions of our culture? It has been this way for centuries. The only males that were allowed to be here were the owner and his sons. I just shrugged off my thought and continued on my way around the field. I made my way over to a small group of (hopefully) new friends. I began to talk to the girls and we all got to know each other better. I’m definitely going to love it here. “Hi. I’m new here.” I said to the girls. As soon as I said this all hell broke loose. They all were talking at once. Let just say I couldn’t understand a single word, but I could tell they were excited to meet me. Me? I was over the moon to be included.
I was out in the fields with my best friends and sisters. I had been here for four weeks now. I had gotten into a routine that we all followed, sleep; eat, out on the field, repeat. It was feeding time. We were in the barn eating, chatting and unwinding from a hard day at work. Once we were all done eating, we made our way out on to our usual field only to notice that something was different about it. There was a boy in our field. Which was something I wasn’t used to seeing. Not just in my field but my old field with my family too. Not just any boy. A very handsome boy with dreamy eyes that made everyone go giddy over. I wasn’t overly interested in him as the others were and he knew that too. He seemed up for the challenge. This was new. I’m not sure I like it.
“Hello, ladies.” The stranger said to us. “I’ll be here for the next month. You will be seeing A LOT of me.” He said almost knowingly and chuckled menacingly looking around us. This sent chills down my spine. He scared me. And for good reason.
June 2019
When that boy had set his mind to something, he achieved it. Even when then other one did not want it. It was his last night here at The FARM and he was getting what he wants. And he did. It was dark outside; the summer sun had just set. I was fast asleep in my cosy bed.
Then he came. It happened so fast. I was terrified. I had only heard horror stories of this happening. My heart started beating out of my chest and I started to get agitated. It was one of those things that you think will never happen to me. It did though. Mother told me this would happen. Just. Not like this. I never thought it would be like this. Never. Just as quick as it started, he vanished. It was done. He may have been gone but I couldn’t relax. The fear that he would return crept over me. I could hear him doing the same to my roommates, again and again. No one in this room was safe from him and his reign of torture.
It felt like it would never end.
Until it did.
He was gone.
But.
Not forever.
Never forever.
December 2019
It had been six months since we last saw him. None of us has fully recovered from him. We never will either. Only a few got lucky. But not us.
We were pregnant.
We were tainted by our traditions. By our way of life. Our lives will never be the same.
We were scarred by our society. By what we thought to be out life. Not ours’ anymore. But was it even ours’ to begin with?
The answer?
No. Never was. Never will be. Never hope to be.
Lives go on. We sleep, eat, work on the field and repeat. The life in us had been sucked out. Where we use to laugh and play in the sunny fields has turned into a cold desert land. The world seemed to reflect our feelings. Our very souls.
March 2020
I was due any day, so I was put on bed rest. Some of the other girls have already delivered. Others like me were on bed rest. I was scared to be a mother. How could I bring a child into this world? THEIR WORLD. Suddenly the sound of a splash of liquid escapes me as my water broke. It seemed like opening the floodgates. I had thought I was having false contractions again. Most of the other girls have had this too until this point. The past few days had been just that, FALSE contractions. This time I was sure. It was real. I was in labour. I was going to be a mother.
I had been in labour for what felt like hours. My child was finally delivered. A girl. When I finally saw my child and saw it was a girl. I wasn’t joyful. I felt that I should start mourning the loss of my child. I won’t be able to protect her. From The FARM, our society and our world. THEIR world.
‘Hello, my child and goodbye. I’m sorry.’ This is all I could think as she suckled on me.
It had been a couple of days since I gave birth. My child was thriving. I was out in the field with my child. Since giving birth, I had been moved to another field with the other new mothers from my old field. I still had my sisters and they had their children there two. It was a more secured field. That day was our first time going into the barn that was for this field? We all shuffled into the barn.
Suddenly my child was gone. So was my sisters’. Our children were led back into the field by the owner. This barn was different from our last one. Then took us to a barn that I have never seen before. I followed the others until I was forced into a stall. The door behind me locked. Then suddenly I felt something cold and hard suck on me. It wasn’t my child. What were they doing to me? They were stealing my milk! This set me into a frenzied panic. “Moooo!” I exclaimed as the process continued. What are they doing? Why are they doing this? When will they stop? Will I still have enough to feed my child? Where is my calf?
I then understood The FARM truly was. They just take and take and TAKE! MY LIFE, MY MILK and soon MY CHILD! What more do I have left to give? What more will they take?
