Prologue
“Mommy, there’s something in my closet!”
She rolled her eyes at her sons words. “Grow up Caspian. There’s nothing in your closet, I’ve already told you that. Now don’t call me over again, I also need sleep!” She walked out, closing his door all the way even though he’s told her so many times not to. But does she care? No. All he was to her was a nuisance. All he does is waste her time and keep her up. After all she’s done for him he can’t seem to stay out of her way.
Caspian, a 7 year old boy, cowered in fear of the hooded figure lurking by his closet door. All it did was stand there, shadows rolling off them in waves. All night, they just stood there, watching. Of course as a seven year old boy anyone would be terrified of being watched in their sleep by something only they could see. no one was there to protect them.
So for three years that’s how it went. Every night till he was 10 he would call his mom to check his closet to see if she could finally see him and save him from the figure that watched him at night.
Every night his mom would come in, her eyes like ice glaring down Caspian’s soul, refusing to check his closet again. Every night was the same. He would call her, she would refuse and slam his door shut, of course not before calling him ‘worthless’ and ‘a waste of space.’ Telling him to get out of her hair and leave her alone for nothing was in his closet.
Like any other child he adored his mother, like she was the only thing holding him down to this planet. Every night, after she would slam his door he would cower in the corner of his bed, terrified of the figure, telling himself that she was just stressed and she didn’t mean to hurt him. That she loved him like the universe loves its stars. Regardless of how many days she left him alone for hours on end while she went who knows where, to ‘work’ presumably. Regardless of the empty fridge and whiskey bottles he finds in the morning after she’s gone......he still loves her with every bone in his body. Because he believes she loves him back like any mother would her own child.
It wasn’t until one night, when he decided he wouldn’t call her to his room. for the first time in his life, he was scared of her more than the figure. No longer did he want his door to slam or his mother to stare at him with flaming eyes. So he didn’t call her.
Instead he stayed up, unable to sleep, because of how absolutely scared he was. He just broke. The figure started to move, closer and closer until it was at the foot of his bed, staring down at him. Caspian was frozen. His tear filled eyes looked into that dark cold void, until he couldn’t take it any longer.
And this is where he makes his first mistake. That first horrible mistake.
He ran out of his room, gasping gulps of air like he hadn’t breathed in years. Caspian went into his mother’s room, not seeing her anywhere. “Mom?” He whispered, his voice shaking. He swallowed thickly. He forced his legs to move, searching the whole house. But she was no where.
He found himself back in her room, and his legs gave away like jelly. He collapsed on the ground, gasping and sobbing. He crawled silently to her bed, inhaling the scent on the pillows. It did little to calm him. Darkness engulfed him and before he knew it, he was asleep in her bed.
***
“You worthless rat!”
Caspian’s eyes shot open and his throat tore out a scream. “Mommy! Stop it!”
She gripped his hair, pulling him off her bed. “You think you can do whatever you want!? Who’s the one that provides for you and cares for you! ME! YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT!”
She pushed him into the living room couch and the armrest punctured his sides, making him gasp out for air. “St-stop plea-” his plea was cut short as she pulled his hair, tossing him to the ground, his voice dying out. his sides were hit by the coffee table, leaving bruises for sure.
He groaned, his head lolling back and forth. “Please..” he looked up at her, and his eyes widened. She was fuming. Her teeth clenched and she walked towards him painfully slow. “I do everything for you,” She sneered. She leaned down close to his ear and it sent chills down his spine. “And what do you do? You sit here all day and do nothing for me,” it was now that she was so close that he could smell the same rancid smell that came from whiskey bottles. “You’re nothing to me. I could kick you out right now,” her eyes slowly lost their flame and she hesitated. “But I won’t.”
He let out a breath of relief, but it was short lived before she hauled him and punched him square in the jaw. He stumbled back, a hand on his cheek. He coughed out and blood splattered on his hand. He looked at it in fear, his hand shaking. He looked back at his mother and he could barely recognized her.
“Get out of my sight.” She growled lightly.
He scrambled up, bolting to his room as fast as he could, all thoughts of the figure out of his mind. He slammed his door, locking it just in case before jumping to his bed. He curled in a ball, the tears starting up again. “I thought you loved me. Am I not good enough?” He hicupped and coughed, the metallic taste of blood still present on his tongue. he tried to wipe it away with his hands as if it were a deadly poison, threatening to kill him if he swallowed a single drop.
“Why won’t it go away!” he wiped his mouth desperately, blood staining his fingertips.
He jumped when he felt warm hands encircle him. The hooded figure was sitting next to him on the bed. he scrambled away, his back hitting the brick wall his bed was against. his breath was caught in his throat, and it was hard to breath. like a rock had lodged its way in there.
“P-please don’t hurt me.” he whispered. he shut his eyes closed, waiting for the worst to happen.
that moment never came.
instead, he felt hands cradle his head, a thumb brushing away his tears he looked at their hands. he gasped slightly, and opened his eyes. His fingers were long and lean, slightly bony but not enough to look sickly. His skin was a dark tan, veins running through clear as day.
Caspian looked up at their face, but as always the only thing he could see was black, a dark shadow forever concealing his face. His lips quivered, and tears filled his eyes. This time he didn’t care. He jumped into their arms, warmth spreading throughout his body. Their hands rubbed his back, and he could hear a soft shush and they rocked him back and forth.
For once in his life, he finally felt safe.
***
Ever since that night things only got worse. Caspian’s mother beat him every night till he was 14. she would come home and he had no choice but to endure it. it’s not like he could hide, she took the lock off his door. and Atlas couldn’t save him, all he could do was provide comfort and healing.
After the age of 14 she just left, visiting every now and then. If she wasn’t staying with the men she slept with then she slept at the house. She still payed bills, but other than that Caspian was on his own. it’s like she decided that he didn’t need her anymore, he was finally old enough that she didn’t have to deal with him.
He never left, and Caspian didn’t want them to. The only company he had these days. They were always there after his mother beat him. They were the hands that held him in his darkest moments. They were the one who stopped him from overdosing. They were the one who protected him. He never questioned it.
They were all he had. He soon even learned his name. It just kind of.....appeared to him one day. Like he just knew that’s what he should call him. Atlas. Caspian never took off their hood, because in a way he didn’t want to know what lay under it. He felt peace in that ignorance.
For the longest time he thought Atlas was his guardian angel. That some higher power was looking out for him. It wasn’t until he was around the age of 12 that he realized how very wrong he was. He still remembers that day, he was so very scared that day.
***
Moms fast asleep, and I have her laptop sitting in my lap. I blocked my door just in case because she’ll beat me if she knows I have it. But I have to know, I want to know. I heard so many stories of angels and a god, and I want to know if Atlas is really my angel, and this is my way of getting information.
I glanced wearily at him, sitting on the floor, arms crossed. I sat across from him, the laptop facing away from his sight. I didn’t want Atlas to know what I was looking for, not that they really were in my business anyway. They just are there. Helping and watching me in subtle ways....protecting me.
I smiled at the thought. Atlas lifted his head, the pitch black void looking right through me. I just shook my head and he slumped back down.
The first thing I searched was what a guardian angel looked like. The websites and pictures described them as breathtakingly beautiful beings covered in silk white robes with a glowing halo on their heads. Some described them as warriors, with white swords and wings as bright as snow made for fighting. I searched and searched, but.....nothing matched Atlas.
That’s when I started getting scared. Afraid, I searched up what a demon looked like....hoping, praying that Atlas wasn’t one. Demons were described as fiery beings, made of coals and lava. That their teeth were sharp as knives and their eyes glowed yellow. They too were described as beautiful, but the kind you lust after that’s irresistible. They were said to have horns crowning their heads, like a broken halo to symbolize that they are fallen.
But.....that’s not Atlas.
Yet the more I looked, the more things I found.
I learned about angels, god and heaven. I learned of Lucifer, demons and hell. And then.....I found the grim reapers, and death.
‘A common misconception is that the grim reaper is some mysterious being that kills you when it’s your time when really that’s not what it is at all. When you die the grim reaper appears to you as someone of importance in your life so that your journey to heaven or hell is one of comfort before eternal glory or suffering.’
Then there’s death. Atlas.
I was terrified. I was held by deaths hands. Death was my guardian angel. What did death want with me?
My eyes frantically scanned the screens, reading all I could about my protector.
‘Death is a humbled being, always described as lurking in the shadows. Fables and tales talk of death as some kind of watcher. That when they sees it’s your time they break the hour glass of your life and summons the grim reaper to lead you to your eternal life. No one really knows what death looks like, describing them as more of an abstract being than one of reality.’
I knew it was Atlas. It had to be, I could feel it.
Death was watching over me.
I closed the laptop. My body was shaking, I was terrified. who wouldn’t be? Death was sitting right here in my room. Atlas must have noticed how I was acting. My breathing was rapid and shaking. He could take my life whenever he wanted. Atlas stood up, walking toward me. I scrambled back frantically, shaking my head, wanting them to just leave me alone. They stopped. Death rolled up its sleeves, tan arms in view. I stopped trembling so bad.
I remember thinking to myself that night..... how could they look so alive.
***
Now here he was two years later, age 15, completely content with the fact that death himself took the time to be with Caspian. After he got used to the fact that Atlas was in fact death, after many questions that could only be answered with nodding and shakes, he basically makes a joke out of it.
Most of the time Atlas just stands in the corner, arms folded, leaning against a wall or something. Caspian lives life as usual.
Mom left her laptop here when she walked out not that long ago, so he uses it when he can. It’s not like she cares she’s not even there most of the time.
He wakes up at 6, takes a shower, makes breakfast for himself, goes out to the park and runs a bit, gets back, cleans up, takes a body shower, starts his ‘lessons’ since he doesn’t go to real school. Why the government hasn’t done anything about that, who knows. He taught himself to read, do math, anything a kid his age is supposed to know. Turns out he understands it all pretty well. After that he goes to work. Since he’s only 15 he usually just mows peoples lawns or something. Anything to get money for groceries, clothes, water jugs since the tap is trash.....
And atlas just sticks around. Gives him company. It’s always the best when he gets a pet sitting job. Atlas is somehow Able to touch the real world but other people can’t see him. The animals love him though.
he walks with Caspian on the street, occasionally pulling his hoodie to guide him away from cars, he stands in the shadows of the houses while he mows lawns.
It’s just the way life worked for Caspian, but oh were things going to change.
