Life Is A Complicated Disaster

She’s shaking like a leaf; she’s bleeding to death. It’s dark outside and she begins to go cold she can hear her mom screaming and trying to knock down the door. Her eyes begin to roll back out of consciousness. Her mom stumbles in and runs to her daughter as she bleeds all over the bathroom floor. Her mom screams and begins to call the police, she’s sobbing and she is hard to understand. The police arrive in less than five minutes. They rush upstairs to the bathroom and carry her out on a medical cart. Her mom is in disbelief. Her mother is being interrogated so that the police can find out why she had done this to herself. The mom was hysterical and was in complete shock. They rush her to the hospital and straight to the pediatric unit. She wakes up and there are tons of people surrounding her.

••••

“W-where am i?” I said

“Your at Valley Village hospital, we brought you from home. You were bleeding on your bathroom floor. Can you tell us your name?” I think he is the doctor only for the fact that he is wearing dark blue scrubs.

I look around and begins to look for another way i could attempt. I see nothing.

“My name is Dakota”

“Hi Dakota, I'm Emily. Can you tell me what happened?” The lady wearing normal clothes, cute glasses, and was holding a clipboard was speaking now.

I remember everything up to the point where my mother was trying to break into the bathroom but instead of telling them anything i told them i didn't remember anything.

“Do you remember anything at all” asked Emily.

“No”

“Okay well i'm going to go speak with your mother. Would you like me to send her in after we speak?”

I shrugged. Emily smiled then left the room. There were still three other people here.

“Hello I'm Dr.Anderson” I knew he was the doctor.

“Hi’ i speak.

“This is your nurse” he pointed to the pretty red headed lady. She waved and smiled.

“Hi i'm Helena” she said.

I smiled.

“And this is our Emergency physiatrist.” said Dr.Anderson. He points to a tall slender man that has aging grey hair.

“I'm Dr.Cheal” he says.

I smile because i have no clue what to do at this point. I'm supposed to be dead… Dr.Anderson begins to speak again.

“Helena with be in here all the time and when you need to go to the restroom she will stand next to the door while it is open.”

“While it’s open?!” i pronounce.

“Yes”

“Why?!” I begin to yell.

“Now now calm down its for your safety,” he says.

I sigh very loud and prolonged so that everyone knows im irritated. I begin to look around again and I see a cup of water. I try to reach but my left arm throbs and aches and burns. I looked straight at my arm. It was bandaged and there were bloody gauzes peeking through the wrap. Dr.Anderson walked toward my arm and reached for it to change the gauze. I flinch as he grabs the wrap.

“It’s ok. I’m just going to change the gauze I’d advise you to look away it may trigger some unwanted memories.”

I remember everything and wished I couldn’t remember any of it. I continue to watch as Dr.Anderson unwraps my ace wrap. He pulled it off and began peeling bloody gauze off of my arm. He slowly peels the last gauze and I see my cut. It’s stitched up now but i remember the skin parting like petals as I sliced into my skin. The stitches were a dark blue and my wound looked purpley red. There was blood smeared all over my arm. I felt sad then abruptly went numb.

“How long will i be here?” I ask. No one answered me no one even looked at me.

“How long will i be here?!” I was raising my voice at this point. Everyone looked at me and i was staring at the doctor.

“You’ll be HERE until tomorrow morning.” he said.

“So that means i'm going home tomorrow?”

“No. Your going to Rose recovery Tomorrow morning around ten thirty.”

“WHAT?!”

“You are not stable enough to go home yet. So we will send you to a temporary Psych ward.”

“A psych ward!” I begin to tear up.

“Yes” Dr.Anderson said.

Im sobbing and I begin to scratch my leg with my right arm.

“Dakota calm down don't harm yourself please” said Helena

“I'm not crazy! I just wanna die!! AHHHH” I scream.

I begin to rock myself back and forth and with my right hand I begin pulling at my hair while screaming. Helena and Dr.Anderson go toward me.

“Hey its ok you just need to be evaluated. Just prove to them that you don't need to be there.” Helena says.

I continue to scream. My mom, Misty, runs in with Emily.

“Dakota i need you to stop screaming please” says Dr.Anderson as he reaches out for my hand.

I jerk away from him and turn onto my opposite side. My mom is standing right there. I scream into the hospital bed. I then begin to quiet down.

“Oh hunny i was so worried. I thought i was going to lose you. I thought you were happy. I give you everything how can you not be happy i do so much for you… ” My mom goes blabbering on but I don’t care.

My left arm is throbbing from yanking it to my side. I feel like my arm is on fire. I tone out my mother and think of ways I could attempt again while at the psych ward. Then I being to worry about what it would be like there and what i could and couldn't have and who I would meet. I decide right then and there that I would focus on suicide the whole time and not focus on the other people. It was probably midnight now and Dr.Anderson brought in some snacks for me. I couldn't sleep but i knew I was tired. Helena said I should take some melatonin so I decided to take some i also took some pain meds for my arm. I eventually fell asleep and my mom sat there with me all through the night.