I'll Reject my Mate for You

I took a deep breath outside the floor to ceiling doors. They would call my name at any moment and I really didn’t want to go in. I shifted in my uncomfortable dress, it itched and the boning dug into my ribcage and under my arms. I was a beautiful dress, a deep blue with diamanté over the corset bodice, but I wasn’t much of a dress person. I much preferred being out training with the warriors; therefore my attire was often more yoga pants and a loose t-shirt.

But… it was my 21st birthday, and my father had demanded that I look respectable for my potential mate. Not that I cared what my mate thought of me, we were supposed to love each other unconditionally right? Who cares if I’m in a sack or a dress? I hope he’s handsome and kind, part of me hopes he’s below my rank. Then I won’t have to leave my friends and Dad, but another part of me does hope he’s a future Alpha. I couldn’t hide that I was nervous though, “You alright Sky?” I looked back to my best friend, and the boy I thought I would be with forever. His electric blue eyes trained on me.

“Noah, why aren’t you in there already, both our dads will have your head?” I hissed at him.

He shook his head, his hair stuck up all over the place as usual. “Whatever, I’m going to sneak in after-” he’s cut off by a voice on the other side of the door.

“Presenting, the birthday girl. Skylar Silverblood!” I pushed Noah away from the view of the doors as they opened.

My heart thudded painfully under the restrictive corset. I could see all eyes on me, I tried to regulate my breathing, but failed as I began walking into the large ballroom. “Father,” I greeted as he stepped forward to take my hand. “Ready darling?”

“No.”

He chuckled quietly squeezing my hand, “I know you don’t feel ready for your mate. But if he’s here you’ll feel ready the moment you clap eyes on him, it was the same for me, pumpkin.”

“But dad, I want to live a little!”

“Tough.” He kissed my temple gently he placed my hand in the crook of his arm. I would stay by his side for a while, I didn’t mind lots of people but I wasn’t much used to it. I tended to avoid our balls and gatherings as much as my status allowed.

“Alpha.” People nodded and bowed respectfully at my dad as we passed. I heard the door creak open and saw Noah try to slip in inconspicuously, I looked for his father. Ha! He’d seen him, Noah’s toast. Sure enough, Beta Danyal strode over to his son and whispered something in Noah’s ear, I could see Noah apologising. Noah had a look about him when he was sorry, and I knew it well. He looked handsome in his charcoal suit, Noah always looked good in a suit, his strong but lean figure seemed to be made for a suit.

“Mine,” the word made my head snap, who could he be referring to? I knew the voice and I looked at the owner, future Alpha Jace Crescent, I’d had quite a few run-ins with him but my father and his father were friends. I looked around to see who he was talking to. I realised dad had dropped his arm from me. Hold on. What was happening?

I felt a hand around my waist before I saw Jace, his light brown hair styled back neatly as always, his broad chin and honey eyes looking down at me. “Mine,” he said again. I blanched as he brought his face closer to mine.

“Woah, woah. What are you doing?” I stumbled back from him looking wildly around for help. I looked to dad who was smiling. Jace came closer again, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. “Slow down. Jace! Stop!” My hand found the middle of his chest and struck.

A stunned silence went around the room as Jace fell to the ground heavily, not expecting me to push him, “Skylar!” dad chided at me, he gripped my elbow to prevent me doing anything further.

“No, not him!” I cry, a slight panic rising in my stomach, anybody but Jace.

“Stop making a scene.” Dad’s chocolate eyes flashing dangerously. Someone had helped Jace up who looked offended and annoyed. “No, I’m not meaning to make a scene. Dad please can I talk to you?” I begged. If I had felt the pull or the love or whatever you were supposed to feel it would be different. But I’d felt nothing, nothing when he spoke, nothing when he touched me. Just my disgust at him.

Dad’s eyes turned from dangerous to concerned, he nodded and led me out of the glass double doors that lead to the gardens.

Rolling green lawns greeted us, but the light was fading making the grass look closer to purple with shadows creeping over. Clouds were drawing in, covering the remaining light. “Dad, you always said I’d know who my mate is as soon as I meet them after I’m 21, yes?”

He gave a stiff nod.

“I didn’t feel anything,” I admitted. His thick eyebrows almost covered his eyes as he frowned heavily. “Well you must have, he claimed you.” I folded my arms giving him a hard stare at saying I’d been claimed. “You know what I mean,” he said irritated. “His wolf senses the bond.”

“Or, he’s lying because he’s a scumbag.”

“Skylar,” a warning tone, “We don’t lie about these things.”

I sighed ‘Anything from you Topaz?’ I ask my wolf, she had been strangely silent.

‘I don’t want him.’

’So he’s not our mate?” I ask her wanting confirmation.

‘I want to go run.’

′Don’t avoid the question.′ She puts up a wall and disappears somewhere in the recesses of my mind, well that was… odd.

“I think I’m tired or something.” I try to cover up whatever is going on, I don’t get it. Topaz is supposed to be the primal side, the side that does what her body wants or needs. She’s always been helpful and pretty intelligent when I’ve got myself in mischief. She was acting much different to normal. “Tiredness is not an excuse, what did Topaz say?”

“I… she said she doesn’t… want him.”

“Want? That doesn’t sound right Sky, he’s either your mate or isn’t.”

I shrug flinging my arms up dramatically as I do. “I’ll apologise to Jace, but I’m not being his mate. If I didn’t want him it would be different, dad, but my wolf doesn’t want him… there’s something off. He can’t be my mate. He may think I’m his, but that happens. Right?”

Father shook his head, “No… no that doesn’t happen. I’ve always wanted you to be with Jace, he’s our closest ally and the closest pack. Not to mention you’ll be Luna which you have trained for your whole life.”

“I’ve trained to be Alpha my whole life.” I shoot back at him which makes him cast his hand over his face in frustration.

“Not this again. You can’t be Alpha of the Silverblood pack, you need an Alpha or future Alpha for you to be Alpha female,” he emphasised the female part.

My whole life I’ve been reminded I’m a she-wolf, a woman. Therefore I’m not as good as a man. I hated it and rebelled against it at every opportunity. As the largest pack in the continent, we could change that rule, but father’s stuck in the dark ages and believes a woman needs a man and he will rule for her. I believe a man needs a woman to rule well, together they cover all aspects, and many have agreed; including my own mother before she was sadly taken from us two years ago. Since then, father had done well running the pack but everyone knew he was struggling, I’d tried to advise and fill in. But I don’t have the calming influence my mother always had over him. My brother would take over the pack in two years, but I always thought father would bow down and allow me to take over.

“Mum wanted-”

“I don’t give a damn what your mother wanted! She’s dead!” I flinched at his anger, and lucky for me, Danyal strode between me and dad.

“Greyson, calm down.” I didn’t need Danyal’s disappointed look too so I turn tail and walk straight back into the ballroom, my head held high as if nothing had happened. Noah’s at my side and slips his hand into mine, “What was that about?” he mutters into my ear, his breath tickling me sending shivers down my back, it had always been this way.

“I don’t know, I didn’t feel anything but apparently Jace thinks I’m his, let’s dance.” I pull his hand onto the dance floor where other couples were dancing arm in arm. Noah takes my waist and one of my hands while I rest my hand on his upper arm. “Why don’t we just make us official?” His blue eyes boring into my green ones.

“Because as soon as you find your mate you won’t want me.” I look up to his strong jaw, I always thought he more resembled an alpha than a beta. But beta’s are still leaders. I feel Noah’s bicep tense. “I’ll reject her.” I sigh, we’d had this conversation already this morning, I had come downstairs hoping to feel that undeniable bond mates are supposed to have… but it was the same. We had stared at each other disappointed until he walked out.

“I can’t let you do that to your soulmate, and I can’t let you do that to yourself. I love you too much for you to hate me for making me stay with you when you don’t want me anymore.” Noah suddenly dropped my hand and turned from me, “I’m sorry” I rest my hand on his shoulder but he shrugs it off and strides quickly from the dance floor. I sigh frustrated, why do our kind have stupid soulmates? I do want Noah, he’s handsome, he makes me laugh. He makes me feel strong and vulnerable all at the same time, he protects me and we’ve always been in each other’s pockets.

My hands are taken back up and my waist held much how Noah had me moments before… but it was Jace. “Oh for fu-”

“Language.”

“Oh shut up you’re not even Alpha yet, don’t pretend,” I snip. His honey eyes land on mine with a scowl attached, I roll my eyes at him. I knew it was a touchy subject for him, his dad decided he wasn’t ready three years ago… apparently, he’s still not grown up enough and I can always see why.

“Well I was going to apologise but you’re being a twat as usual so maybe you deserved to be pushed over.”

“And how have I offended you this time?” his tone bored while he grips my waist tighter and pulls me closer into him.

“You didn’t ask me to dance, you just assumed.”

It was his turn to roll his eyes, “I can do whatever I like with you, your my mate.”

I try and pull away but his grip on my waist is too firm. I may be able to catch him off guard with a push but when he’s alert I have no chance against his strength. “I’m not your mate, Jace, my wolf doesn’t want you. Apparently, she realises how much of a jerk you are too.” I smile sweetly to him in contrast my insult.

“There’s nothing you can do about it, you’re coming back with me tonight.”

“Think again.” I try to pull again to no avail, he keeps me pressed against him as we move around the dance floor. “Let go,” I growl at him.

“No, I want to dance with you.” I struggle more hoping someone will notice and help.

“Jace you’re hurting me.”

“Good.” His look bores into me.

“Let go,” it wasn’t me that spoke this time. Jace instantly let go, making me stumble back being caught by strong arms. I steady myself and put my head down out of respect, “Alpha Crescent.”

“I do hope my son was treating you with the respect you deserve, Miss Skylar.” He’s not looking at me, his honey eyes are drilling holes into his son’s head. “Not really, Sir,” I mutter. I don’t want to offend him but I also don’t want Jace to think it’s acceptable to act like that.

I stifle a giggle as Alpha Crescent grabs Jace by the ear and hauls him out of the room. “Dad gerrof! Ow!” Jace complains the whole way. I can still hear him as he’s undoubtedly still being lead by his ear down the corridor.

I rub my waist where Jace’s fingers had dug in uncomfortably and turn to see who I can talk to. Many are avoiding my gaze. I don’t see anyone that I really want to talk to so I go back out into the gardens. Dad’s not there now so I just stroll along the manicured lawn, allowing my feet to lead me. I don’t really care where I go, tonight felt like a disaster. ‘See I told you we don’t want our mate,’ Topez’s voice echoed in my brain.

‘Wait, he is my mate?’

‘Yes, but no mate of yours will treat you like that. He’s always been nasty and demanding.’

‘But… I don’t feel..’

‘I’ve hidden it from you. I can stop the bond enough for you… I can feel it.’

‘Isn’t that painful?’

‘It doesn’t matter, how he’ll treat you will be worse’.

I mull over her words… I didn’t know that was possible. I didn’t know a wolf could override a feeling so strong as the mate bond. I’d heard of the human side trying but never the wolf. I amble into the small hedge maze that’s more for the pups. But I like it, I got lost once. Noah had to come find me when we were 7. He found me crying because I’d got myself so worked up trying to get out. I barely take in my surroundings as I follow the paths, most of the men can see over the hedges, I can’t quite at a little over 5 ft 5.

I found the centre that has a water fountain and some benches. I sit on the edge of the water fountain. The trickling of water splashing soothes all my frustration over Jace. He’s always been horrible, he was a bully when we were children then he was just spiteful as he grew. Maybe he felt a bit of the mate bond before and that was why he’d been trying to sleep with me ever since he turned 21, still didn’t excuse his behaviour. I hate him, but part of me wanted him to grow out of it, more for his pack than him. I don’t envy the Crescent Pack when he takes over.

“Sorry,” I hear Noah’s voice but don’t look around, I’m a little mad at him, if he hadn’t left me on the dance floor Jace wouldn’t have swooped in. I doubt Noah knows that happened though, and I can’t blame him for another man’s behaviour. His hands have landed on my bare shoulders and he’s rubbing them, damn him he knows I love that.

I let out a sigh as he works his fingers into the muscle. The feeling of calm and warmth washes over me. “Is he your mate?”

“No,” I lie, well it’s not a complete lie. “I feel nothing for him, apart from strong dislike verging on… oh who am I kidding, I detest him, he’s foul.”

“You may have to forgive him for what he did last summer.”

I round on Noah, “F-forgive? Are you kidding?” His hands drop as I turn to face him, glowering.

“I just… it…”

“You want me to forgive him!”

“No! It’s just for you to… accept… the...” he trailed off at my face. I almost wanted him to finish that sentence. “YOU REMEMBER WHAT HE TRIED TO DO TO ME, RIGHT?” I scream at him.

“I know, but he didn’t succeed, and he barely left with his manhood attached”

“What if I’d been weaker though? What if I hadn’t grabbed at him when I did?”

“But you did and you showed him not to mess with you.”

“… So I should forgive him because he didn’t succeed?” My blood was bubbling but I was trying to keep my voice level. Noah’s treading on dangerous ground.

“It’s just I think your hatred is preventing the mate bo-” I don’t let him finish. I shove him hard so he trips and falls into the fountain. Tears streaming down my face, “Half an hour ago you were saying we should be together! How dare you! Why would you say that!” my words not actually coming out very well through sobs. I turn to leave but a very wet hand grabs my wrist.

“You’re right.” I tug at my wrist but he doesn’t release me. And part of me didn’t want him to. “I don’t want you to go to him. I don’t want you to be with him. But as your friend, I have to think what’s good for you. And obviously having your mate is better than just some randomer. Besides with… him… you’ll be Luna, you’ll run the Crescent Pack… I can’t make you Luna, I’m a Beta’s son, I can’t rise to Alpha.”

“But I’m an Alpha’s daughter, with a man I can run a pack. That’s what dad says.” I turn back to look at him, “And you’ll make an excellent Alpha,” I whisper moving closer to him allowing his sodden clothes to dampen the front of my dress. “You’re a genius!” I exclaim quietly.

“Sky… I’m not following.”

“Dad said earlier, and since forever, that I can’t run the Silverblood pack, because I’m a woman. He says a woman needs a man to run the pack. If I have you, you can be Alpha along with me. We can change the rules.”

“I don’t think he’ll go for that...”

“We can try… besides. I’d prefer to have you for a year until you find your mate than a lifetime with him.” He places his hand on my cheek, tenderly stroking his thumb up and down

“I’d reject her for you, I love you. I always have.” He leant towards me, his lips tantalisingly close. My eyes close in anticipation when his hand suddenly retracts from my face and I feel something akin to a gust of wind.

I open my eyes to see Jace on top of Noah his hands firmly wrapped around his throat. I panic for a second before I punch Jace over the head, but he seems to not notice. “Get off him!” I scream, hoping it to be loud and high enough pitch to hurt his ears. Noah’s struggling under him trying to loosen Jace’s hands. But Noah’s going red in the face and beginning to struggle to grip Jace’s hands.

I launch at Jace, my dress making it hard to move but I land on him and use the momentum to rip Jace’s grip from Noah. We both land heavily in the dirt, my back lands first then Jace lands on top of me. I grunt at the weight. I can’t get out from under him my stupid dress is caught. I land my fist on the side of his head and continue to rain punches until he rolls off. I struggle to my feet going to Noah who’s leaning to the side, coughing and spluttering.

“Noah!”

“I’m fine,” he croaks not sounding too fine. I round on Jace who’s getting to his feet.

“You are the worst wolf ever! I hope your father demotes you to Omega because that’s how you act! You don’t deserve the Alpha title! You hurt everyone around you, to make yourself feel better for having daddy issues! Well grow up! Just because you’re a man you think you can do whatever you like! It’s not true! There are consequences! Your consequence is you’re going to lose your mate! So big boy get ready to be rejected, because, I Sky-”

“NO! No don’t do that please!” Jace’s eyes went wild in panic, his voice losing the cocky arrogant air it always has. “I saw him try to kiss you and my wolf went mental… Please! Don’t reject me!” he looks genuinely fearful.

I stand there my chest heaving painfully against the boning of the dress. My fists clenched and shaking at my side. “Give me one good reason” I sneer at him.

“I… he won’t make me Alpha without you.”

“Goodbye Jace,” I turn on my heel, yank Noah by the hand and storm off.

“I’m going to bed, will you undo me?” I’m still leading Noah, we’re nearly at the Alpha floor when Noah takes the lead. “Course.” He leads me down the familiar red corridor with oak flooring until we get to my room. The door left open from me getting ready and thinking I was late. As soon as Noah’s over the threshold he stops dead in his tracks, “Alpha,” he mutters bowing his head.

“Off you go, Noah.” Noah gives me an apologetic look before scampering off as fast as he can. I sigh going into my room. Dad sat on my bed, obviously waiting for me.

“I’m going to get changed,” I say matter of factly going into my closet to grab pyjama shorts and an oversized t-shirt. I wrestle with the back of the dress knowing I can’t undo it myself. Dad sighed and stood, turning me around to start fumbling with the lace-up back. I felt the dress loosen so hold it to me. I mutter a thanks before going into my bathroom to change.

I came out to see dad sat on my bed again, waiting. “Why is your dress so dirty?”

“Jace,” I say simply.

“Oh.” A small smile tugging on the corners of his mouth.

“No,” my tone harsh, “He attacked Noah, so I defended him.”

The smile drops. “Darling, just accept Jace, he’s a nice enough lad. Hot-headed and has a lot of learning to do, but with you by his side. He’ll soon grow up.”

I shake my head at him, “No, he’s horrible. He’s always been horrible to me, he’s nasty and tried to do stuff last year. He’s beyond help.”

Dad looked up to me a frown fixed on his face, “What stuff?” I hadn’t actually told him about last summer, I didn’t want to start a war or him to blame Jace’s father when it was all on Jace.

“I don’t want to talk about it, dad, all you need to know is he tried to something really bad but I stopped him and hurt him for his trouble.”

“What did he do?” Father stood and placed his hand on my shoulder, my jaw quivered with a sob I didn’t want to let out. I didn’t want to tell him, there was something about telling your dad that his daughter almost got hurt in that way right under his nose.

I stepped into his chest wrapping my arms around his middle. “He tried to make Noah watch him… do stuff to me,” my voice muffled as I’ve pressed my face into his chest, mainly so I don’t have to look at his reaction. Dad’s arms tightened around my shoulders,

“As in… like what mates do?” he said carefully, his voice gruff.

“Yes,” I whisper and the floodgates opened. I never wanted to admit what could have happened, but it was a very real possibility. “He tied Noah to a tree… said… said Noah needed to be showed how it’s done,” I wept, now I’d started I wanted to say what had happened, I didn’t even admit to Noah… I was terrified of Jace.

“Is that why he was limping the last time he was here?” I could feel his breath on the top of my head as he spoke into my hair.

“Yes.”

“Good girl. No man should be able to walk if they try something like that.” For all my father’s faults, and his comments on women aren’t as good as men. He was still loyal and moral when it came to the treatment of all wolves. “Get yourself sorted for bed, it’s been a long day. I just need to go sort something out.” He let me go and gave me a nudge towards my bed. I crawl under the duvet and begin re-arranging my pillows. “Daddy?”

“Yes, Pumpkin?”

“Is your business Jace?”

“Goodnight Darling.” He switched off my light with a knowing smile.

I’m just dozing off when my door opens, “Sky?” Noah’s voice came from the doorway. I look up to him, his frame casting a shadow into the room from the light in the corridor. “I’m awake.”

“Good.” He strolled in, “Budge over.” I chuckle and scoot to the other side of the bed, he slips between the sheets and drew me closer to him, his strong arms around my waist. “Just heard your dad with Alpha Crescent. You told him what happened didn’t you?”

“I didn’t tell him all of it… but… yeah.”

“Good, you should have told him when it happened.” I shrug snuggling into Noah’s chest, enjoying his warmth and familiarity of him. Noah was safe, he was my security blanket. He tightens his grip around me, one arm around my waist the other around my shoulders. “I’m not accepting him, Noah. I can’t.”

“I don’t want you to.”

“Will you accept me?”

“I already have.”

He pulls me up, drawing me so I’m eye-level with him. His thumb gently caressing my cheek and after six long years of waiting for each other. His lips gently meet mine. It was hesitant at first, unsure of what each other wanted, or liked. But gradually our kiss became natural. He massaged my lips with his, his hand falling from my cheek finding my hair. He tangled his fingers pushing me slightly so our kiss became more forceful. A moan passed my lips with the excitement rising in my stomach. He licked my bottom lip begging for entrance which I grant. His tongue explores my mouth until I wrestle it back, wanting to explore his. He tastes sweet and minty, he must have just brushed his teeth.

I bite at his bottom lip, nibbling earning me a groan. And with that, he’s flipped me onto my back. I gasp at the change. However, his sudden dominance definitely sends a heat somewhere between my thighs. Noah broke from my lips, “Are you sure you want this?” he pants. I can see a hunger in his eyes I’d never seen before. The tips of his fingers grazing the waistband of my shorts, sending shivers of anticipation up my spine. I look deep into his eyes, and brush a few stray hairs from his forehead, “Always.”