Chapter 1
It's 2021, men shouldn’t open the doors for you… you have hands, get your own door.
It's 2021, men shouldn’t pay the bill, you have your own money.
It's 2021 men shouldn’t want to marry you just to sleep with you, you are being too clingy.
It's 2021, men shouldn’t call first, you have a phone, call him first…
It's 2021 and women are more misunderstood than ever.
Feminism, gender equality, progression, all just a bunch of words with misinterpreted meaning and even more misinterpreted actions.
Yes, women can open their own door, pay their own bill, have casual sex and make the first move.
But when did the notion of gender equality and feminism become an excuse for the society to burden women with even more stereotypes, prejudice and expectations.
How did it become a woman’s responsibility to be a desirable, feminine and sexy but also be able to defend herself on her own from the grabby hands of uninvited intruders who still believe that the sole purpose behind a woman’s existence is to please the men around her.
How did it become an expectation for a woman to have a full-time job and be a full-time housewife, looking after the children and greeting her husband with a home cooked meal.
How did it become a norm to expect women to do it all and be it all while some man still believe that it is their sole responsibility to just go to work in the morning and come home to a set table in the evening.
As a millennial woman in her mid-20s I do not know what is right and what is wrong anymore… I don’t know what the society expects of me.
When I sit and listen I am obedient, a sheep, and a ‘simple woman’ unable to form an opinion which belongs in the kitchen,
but when I voice my thoughts I am an emasculating, strong headed, intimidating and cold woman doomed to spend her life alone because no man could find this desirable.
When I wear high heels and put my makeup on I am a pampered bimbo who only cares about her looks,
but when I wear sneakers and a messy bun I am a neglected, arrogant and bitter.
When I am out with my friends and I have more than one drink, whilst wearing a dress I should watch myself because I am provoking the men around me, asking for their hands to violate my privacy without my permission. I am forced to hold on to my drink all night because otherwise, one of those ‘provoked men’ may slip something in my drink to increase his chances and have my body without my struggle.
But when I am out with friends and I do not drink alcohol, I am a stuck-up prude that doesn’t know how to have fun...and when I hold on to my drink I am an exaggerating and paranoid woman thinking that every man is a rapist.
I don’t feel like I have a right move… I don’t know how to exist in this world because the truth is I am not always the same… on some days I wear high heels and tight dresses, order take out and speak my mind unapologetically,
On others, I am in my kitchen making homemade meal in my sweatpants, keeping to myself and listening to what the people around me have to say.
The harsh reality is that women today, have to be unisex. We have to be feminine and vulnerable but also self-sufficient and independent. We have to rely on ourselves, but also let men take care of us when they feel like it. We have to be warm and approachable, because otherwise we are man-hating bitches, but not too approachable because then we are sluts.
However, at the end the day the sad truth is that it is not just the men in power, or the men that we work with that try to put us in those nice little boxes, expecting unrealistic things. It is women who continue to judge other women for their choices. It is the society as a whole that keeps on adding more weight on to ‘the weaker’ sex’s back, expecting it to bend but never break.
As a woman I have been underestimated by men and women. I have been put down, looked down on, I have been judged and misunderstood. I have been called a feminist as if it is the dirties word in the word and I have been called a bimbo with the same disgust.
I have been judged for so long and I haven’t even realized it…but now I do…and the saddest part is that there is nothing I can do to change that.
