Preview
She picked a lipstick from her desk, opened it, and painted her lips in the colour of blood. Still holding the small object tight in her fingers, she made her way toward the window. She used the bright red substance to scribble three letters on the glass. B, Y, and E.
A freezing wind hit her face as she opened the window in her room. The view of cars and people rushing from work five stories below her made her stomach twist.
“Tania, dinner’s ready!” Her mother called out, but the girl didn’t listen.
It felt like her tears were turning into ice on her frostbitten cheeks. She was determined to end it. She couldn’t let the world play games with her anymore. Her hands were shaking as she reached for the frame and slowly climbed on the windowsill. The girl didn’t want her feet to slip. She desired her end to be as dignified as possible. Her face was drenched in tears, and she felt like her eyelids were going to dissolve in the salty water. Her fingers were frigid and white as her grasp was so powerful. She didn’t hesitate. She just wanted to have everything in her hands for once.
“Tania, mama’s calling you for dinner.” The door of her room opened as her younger brother came for her.
She knew she couldn’t wait any longer. Letting go of the window frame, she took one last deep breath. Then she was falling.
Those few seconds felt like infinity. It was not like people say. Her whole life didn’t run in from of her eyes. Her mind was blank. Her insides were twisting like on a rollercoaster. And even with her eyes shut, she felt the ground getting closer to her. She didn’t feel like she was dropping. It was more like the pavement was nearing her. The whole world was approaching Tania and crushing her under itself. She was just waiting for the impact: For the anticipated pain. And for the end, she was yearning for.
She heard the people screaming. The unsuspecting passersby, whose day she ruins. These poor human beings, who will see her body fall and break on the pavement. The image will inevitably get burned into their brain.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to ruin your day too.” Those were her last thoughts before her head bashed into the concrete and her silky brown hair got stained with blood. And then it came. The excruciating pain felt so freeing to her. She felt the impact. And that was the last thing she felt.