Shell Of A Man

PRESENT:

It was a day like any other – ordinary. It was bright and early in the morning. And, the court, like the rest of the LA, was busting with people. Everyone, trying to reach somewhere to get their day started.

One such soul was Jason Smith, barging through the halls to make it to the court on time. He bumped into several people, even almost fell on his face. But luck was on his side ’cause he was at the door the moment his case was announced.

Out of breath, he walked into the court. He didn’t even bother about who was or wasn’t in the court as he rummaged through his office bag to find the documents of that particular case. Due to a shortage of people at his clinic, he was swarmed with cases. He had more on his plate than he could handle.

When the poor guy did look up, he stopped dead in his tracks. Not in a million years, he expected to see the sight that was in front of him – Raymond Holt. It was the first time he had seen the man in eleven years. Who once used to be a skinny little thing now stood like a Greek god in front of him.

Jason could easily make out the well-defined muscles beneath the layers of a navy blue suit, a color he once loved on the man. The blonde waves that used to be tied up in a bun were now short and styled in a tapered cut. The jawline, which used to be smooth, was now razor sharp and hidden under a stubble. The only thing that had not changed were those stormy blue orbs.

The moment Jason’s eyes met Ray’s, he got lost in the storm as he did all those years ago. His throat dried up, and his palms got sweaty. His heart picked up the pace as all the feelings he once harbored for the man, the love, the rage, and everything else in between, came rushing back. He was spellbound. He didn’t know where to look, what to feel, or what to say. He even forgot that he was in a courtroom and had to walk up to the desk in front.

On the other side of this dilemma was Ray. He, like Jason, didn’t expect this either. Honoring Jason’s words, Ray never looked for him. Since the letter said nothing about social media, he tried that for years but, nothing ever came up, so he eventually gave up. There hadn’t been a day in his life when he didn’t think about Jason, but what he saw in front of him was the last thing he would have expected.

The chocolaty skin that once glowed was now all dry and wrinkly. The gleaming eyes now had dark circles under them. The afro waves in which Ray could once get his hands tangled were now all gone, replaced by a buzz cut. The man had also lost so much weight. You could say he was almost skinny. Ray couldn’t believe his eyes. He wondered, how could someone who used to be so much into taking care of his health lose all of his muscles? His heart ached to see the poor health of the man he still loved.

Ray wanted to hug him, kiss him, to say he’s sorry, but before he could even open his mouth, Jason walked past him. Ray’s breath got shallow, and he could feel himself getting fidgety as he dealt with what felt like rejection. He got back to his desk once the judge asked the counsels to make an appearance.

“Jason Smith, LA Legal Assistance, for the defendant, Your Honor. Ms. Boden went into labor early this morning, and hence, I’ll be taking over the case.”

“Raymond Holt, Espinoza McLaren, for the plaintiff, Your Honor. Mr. Clark is away on a family emergency. I’ll be replacing him,” said Ray.

Hearing each other’s voices after so long made both of their knees weak. Hence, Jason, with all his might, was trying not to look at Ray. He was always the resisting type. While Ray couldn’t take his eyes off Jason. He was loving the butterflies in his stomach. The thought that he could finally apologize and get back together excited him.

As the court proceeded, it got a tad bit easier for both of them to focus. Opening statements were made, oaths were taken, and the questioning followed.

Jason was defending a fellow man of color, accused of drug dealing, harassment, blackmail, and sexual assault. Whereas Ray’s firm was representing the woman who made those allegations.

Susan Stone worked as the manager in a pharmaceutical company, Medicos. She accused a man, Morales, of harassing her, making her steal drugs from the company, blackmailing her to keep quiet, and sexually assaulting her to instill fear.

Cayo Morales, who was a member of the cleaning staff in the same company, denied everything. He stated that Susan shamelessly flirted with him every day. But, he very politely declined all of her advances because he was married. When Susan finally offered him money to sleep with her, he only accepted it to pull his family out of a financial crunch. He claimed that the woman was just using him as a scapegoat and chose him because of his ethnicity.

Jason had forgotten how good Ray was at litigating, but he did his homework as well and kicked some ass. Though, he couldn’t stop the case from going to trial. That was because of two main reasons. First, Susan told everyone that Cayo had a mole above his penis. Which was true. Second, the police found a huge stash of drugs hidden in the vents of Cayo’s house.

Susan Stone’s claims of sexual assault could have been false. According to Cayo Morales, she had sex with him consensually, and that is how she knew about the mole. Jason made the same argument. But, he had no defense for the stash of drugs. Hence, the case went to trial.

The entire session, Ray was waiting to hear the thump of the gavel as he couldn’t wait to talk to Jason. But, when that melodious sound did echo, he was stopped by Susan and the CEO of her company, Edward Cole. Though, his entire focus remained on Jason.

While talking to his clients, Ray saw Jason talking to his own. A few minutes later, he started packing up his things and then walked out of the courtroom. Ray was getting impatient by the second. Whatever the clients were saying, it was just gibberish for him at that point. When he couldn’t focus on talking anymore, he dismissed them. He said that he’ll call later and that he had some urgent business to take care of.

With that said, Ray grabbed his things and ran out of the courtroom. He looked around for Jason in the hallways but had no luck. Finally, Ray ran out of the courthouse. That’s when he saw Jason walking away at a distance.

Each and every feature of Jason, from his gait, his body language, to his speech, everything was burned in Ray’s mind. It didn’t matter that Jason was now skinny and a skinhead. Ray could still identify him anywhere, anytime, in a heartbeat.

“Jay,” he called out at the top of his lungs, but no luck. He made his way towards him and called out his name again, but Jason still won’t listen.

Ray sprinted towards Jason, but it was hard as the streets were busy. He kept bumping into people. “Jason, stop,” he yelled once he was at an arms distance from him, but Jason still won’t listen.

After being done with the court, Jason wanted to get back to his office as soon as possible as he had shitloads of work to do. But, seeing Ray had unsettled him. He chose to walk to his office to calm himself down and maybe stop for a drink or two in the middle.

While walking down the road, he had only one thing on his mind – Ray. Everything else in the world was tuned out. The memories he made with him kept flashing in front of him with the speed of light, every positive and the negative emotions pushing through.

Jason was lost in his thought when suddenly someone grabbed his hand, bringing him to a halt. A deep scowl appeared on his face when he realized who his perpetrator was. “Let me go,” he said, but the man didn’t.

Jason pulled on the lead of his earphones, and both the plugs popped out. “What do you want?” he asked.

“Can we talk?”

“About the case?”

“About us,” said Ray.

“There’s nothing to talk about us.”

“Jay, please. At least, hear me.”

“No. Let me go, Raymond,” said Jason as he tried to break free from Ray’s grip.

“Jay, please! I love you,” Ray pleaded and tightened his grip on Jason’s hand so as to not let him go.

“You’re hurting me, Ray. LET ME GO!” Jason pulled really hard, and Ray realized that he was indeed hurting Jason. He couldn’t believe it, but he let go, nonetheless. The sudden release made Jason wobble a bit.

“Jason... I’m begging you. Please talk to me.” Ray couldn’t hold back his tears anymore, and they finally came out, rolling down his cheeks.

“I rather you stay away from me, Mr. Holt.” With that said, Jason turned around and walked away.

“If destiny allows, we’ll cross paths again. We’ll have a coffee,” said Ray.

Hearing those words, Jason did stop, but they broke his heart all over again. It took all he had to brace himself and turn around. “I can’t,” he said, looking at Ray. “I can’t...”

With that said, Jason turned around and walked away, leaving a shattered Ray behind.

•••••

A/N: What did you think of this chapter? Please let me know in the comments.

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