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Aa

Protectors of the Renegades

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Summary

An exiled angel and a woman who is more special than she knows. They must look past their differences and trust one another in order to destroy the threats to both the Heavens and the Earth *Story has not been edited*

Status
Ongoing
Chapters
9
Rating
4.6 11 reviews
Age Rating
16+

Exiled

Humans are vile creatures. They turn on one another, use anything they can to their advantage as their sins proudly show on their shoulders. They are hopeful in wishes that can never become true. Why do such creatures exist? Why through all of their struggles, imperfections, and betrayals are they still considered the light of the world? This is a question that haunts Ariel each passing day as he observes these creatures, like rats in a cage. An angel’s duty is simple. It is not what most human beliefs teach, there are no guardian angels that spontaneously save them from harmful or life-threatening situations. No, an angel’s duty takes on the form of what humans call a grim reaper. They exist to guide those who die on Earth to the afterlife, reviewing their life and all of their transgressions before announcing their place in the heavens.


Ariel had grown irritated by watching humans day in and day out. Just waiting for his call to reap the latest unlucky soul. He never showed any mercy to any soul that he came into contact with. As far as he was concerned, any human that he was confronted with was dirty and filthy of sin. They did not deserve the highest spot in the heavens. They never did. Others of his kind often gave him problems with his rulings, but he did not care. They were all soft and took pity on creatures that never respected the heavens and the rules. Why would he put a soul in the highest spot that never took to the heavens in life? Souls do not change once they are dead, they are and always will be the same person.


Having just returned from a never-changing day, he was greeted by a scowl from the Archangel Daniel. Each region was placed under care by one who collected the reports from the working angels in that region. Ariel reflected the scowl to the broadening man in front of him. It was more a sour spot for the angel as he used to hold the spot of an archangel but was removed for reasons he disagreed with. “He wants to see you.” The archangel stated and walked away.

Most angels would be crippled with fear at those words, but Ariel simply did not care. In fact, he was expecting it would happen soon. He had done the job he was asked to do and knew that eventually he would be granted his status back of “Archangel.”


The term God that humans use is not what the angels call for the highest power, only a few can call him by name, but most only use He and Him. It is more out of respect and love than it would be out of worthiness. Ariel headed towards the large chambers where he was summoned. The doors opened as soon as he approached, the thick, heavy doors moved without a sound as the chamber behind it was revealed. Approaching the small staircase that occupied the room, Ariel kept his eyes low as he bowed before the being who the humans call God.


No one was allowed to look at him. Although every angel was worthy, this too was a sign of respect that was universally shared between every angel. “I believed that the day I took away your naming of an archangel, there would be a change in your heart.” The voice was deep yet soft. Filled with love and understanding, but there was also a stern tone that erupted from each syllable. “After a century of evaluating your judgment on humans and seeing if there has been any change in your heart, I have come to a decision.” At least now, Ariel would not have to deal with human misdeeds first hand and only deal with them on an extreme occasion. He would finally return to where he was meant to be.


“My decision is that you have indeed changed, but not in the way I have hoped. Your heart has only become more closed and conceded, and I hate to see someone who I treasure so much slip to this depth.” There was an unexpected flutter in his chest. What was he talking about? Were all those years he suffered reaping and directing souls a waste? Would he be stuck with the same job? “I regret to inform you that there is no longer a place in the heavens for you.” The atmosphere in the room had changed within the moment those words were spoken. For the first time in what felt like forever, Ariel’s mind was blank. “Your wings will be stripped and you will find your new home in the land below with the humans that you despise.” He had not even noticed the movement of the man before him until a hand was placed on his cheek.


As much as every fiber in his body wanted to look up and scream, there was too much shock for him to even let a tear fall. He had done what he was asked. Passing judgment as he saw fit and never missed a reaping he was given. What else was expected of him? “I hate to do this to one of my beloved sons, but you leave me no choice. There is only one way you can learn as to how valuable a human is, despite their imperfections and sins. You will be living as one for the foreseeable future.”


What followed next was the most excruciating pain that he had ever felt. Angels rarely felt pain, yet, this was nothing like the pain he had previously experienced. It was feeling every muscle, fiber, and cell in his body being pulled apart. The cracking of bones echoed in his ear as he could feel the flesh pulling away from his back. Ariel had not even noticed that he was screaming until the pulling against his skin stopped and he could no longer feel what carried the most pride being an angel. His wings. They were gone. Ariel could soon feel his mind slipping out of reality, but in the last moment of consciousness, he could only hear a few words.


“Goodbye, my son.”

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View 3 previous comments…
author

I just wanted to point this out because I'm not sure if it was intentional or not: the opening paragraph is cliche. I've read those same lines in Scott Mariani's The Cross. But he did it in a less stilted sort of way. He introduces the threat of humanity to equalize with that of vampires, demons etc. Here, you seem to make a serious thesis statement and combine it with an irreverent tone. Ariel seems inclined to believe that humanity is not worth anything, yet spends time debating whether or not they do, with little to no reason to suggest either without going back to what Scott Mariani wrote. (1) :)

5 years
author

I feel the information is force-fed in a non-convincing manner. This prose seems biased by Ariel, even if it's a third-person limited POV. It kinda jumps around, and I think it could be solved if you removed one of the paragraphs entirely. But then again I don't think the opening will be powerful enough to capture someone since it's been done already. So I have to ask if you want to write a narrative voice or an omniscient being telling everything how it is? :o

5 years
author

very heart wrenching start (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

5 years
1

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