What is your opinion?
An Angel in Disguise
"Firstly, the angel in this story is Alma, not Ariel. Secondly Narcissus? Ha! Brilliant! I like the concept, and your writing is very easy for the reader to understand, and your characters are very relatable. Your paragraphs are longer than they could be, could you split them into smaller ones? Alma is a sweetie, and I hope that Ariel learns to appreciate her. Keep up the great work, Sofia"
Enticing
"A lot has happened in a few short chapters! The author is able to grab you in just the first few paragraphs, and it never slows down from there; those are the best kinds of books. Each character has their own personality and there are fun to read bonds between certain characters (like John and alma) they sound like myself and my brother. A very enticing read, I’m so excited to see where this goes. "
Super Interesting So Far!
"There are only five chapters, but it has been really interesting so far! I'm excited to see how Ariel and Alma's relationship will change over time. Overall, this is really good and I'll be keeping an eye out for the next chapter."
I want to read more!
"I really got into it since the first chapter and I can tell already that it's not gonna be a cliche story. The build up is great but what I, as a reader, want to read is the point of view of each character in more depth; keep them in their character no matter the situation. I have no criticism other than what I said above. Please upload more because I'm eager to see where this is going!"
Love it so far!
"The main thing that sticks out to me right away is the characters. They really jump off the page. Ariel is such a jerk but I kind of love him? I can't wait to see how his character develops from here. And Alma is so compassionate but it's clear that she's not a pushover - I can't wait to see how she develops too! The plot is built off a classic 'fallen angel' archetype, but I like what you do with it - you put your own unique spin on it, which is fantastic. I noticed a few grammar mistakes, nothing that pulled me out of the story, just something to note. Overall great job, can't wait to see where it goes from here! :)"
Angel gonna learn some manners~
"(Reviewed at Chapter 4) To start off, I'm loving the concept here! "Angel" themes in stories are something that I'm generally not a fan of, but Ariel's personality is doing it for me. So much. He's amazing. XD And by that I mean that I can't wait to see him figure out how much of a jerk he's being and get the messaged that oh yeah, soft lil' human is gonna take care of his sorry butt. The concept is really selling me, and the plot has been enjoyable so far. It reminds me of the kinds of things I'd write... so I might be a /little/ biased~ As for any problems with the story, it's mostly just writing style and minor grammar issues. There's nothing outright or massively /wrong/ with either, but there are just enough hiccups that I can't give a full five-star rating. Some general proofreading would be GREAT for minor errors (such as "padded her cheeks" versus "patted her cheeks"), and as for the style issues... that might be more of a preference thing? I feel like more practice (in a general sense) is really all the author needs to get that style flowing great! Overall, I'm enjoying this! Keep writing, and make Ariel suffer, please~ >:3c"
Spellbound
"Most notable so far is the wonderfully crafted plot centered on a cynical fallen seraph banished from the empyrean realm of Heaven and condemned to live as a mundane mortal. Enter a helpful young veterinary professional, and the writing style becomes enhanced with delightful character development that fascinates readers, leaving us spellbound. My only critique is the grammar, but it's nothing that renders your novel confusing and is easy to fix. Overall, this is a compelling romance story I very much enjoyed reading!"
Amazing
"I enjoyed this story! The plot is great, focusing on a cynical angel that was kicked out of heaven and turned into a human. Aforementioned angel is then taken in by an unsuspecting 27 year old vet. The fun is just beginning. The authors writing style is well suited to the story. Their were however, a few grammatical errors but those could easily be fixed with some editing. Overall, great story. Can't wait for updates!!"
A very interesting read
"Initially the story starts of like any other fantasy novel. But the second chapter really pulls you in. The personal connect with the human character is build pretty fast. It feels real and fast...you Alma to find him , to know what happens next, to know what happens to her. The emotions are described really well. The writer takes the pains to dwell into small details helping the reader to drown more into the plot. And the plot is amazing I feel. The story holds a lot of potential and is really very intriguing. Like earlier reviewers, I am hooked and cannot wait to read the next update. P.S. Just one small feedback, shorter sentences would help amplify the descriptions more is what I feel. I am no professional, but as a reader long sentences tend to loose my short attention span."
First Two Chapters
"There were a lot of long paragraphs that could be shorter. At the very beginning of chapter one, there was a significant info dump that could have been dispursed through the first chapter and there was a bit of unnecessary information that didn't add to the character or the story. The plot is creative and I found it interesting. I can't wait to read more of the story as it comes out."
Not ready...
"The story might be improved structurally by being less direct, and focusing on the experiences of the main human character (Alma) rather than switching between the supernatural and human character. This could be done by, for example, focussing more on Alma's story and telling the supernatural background through dialogue with the angel. To me this would make the story more relatable. I am afraid I find the writing style to be quite awkward. Sometimes there are differences in tense within a sentence, or structural subject/object problems. The story will require careful editing probably by an outside editor to improve the style. Similarly there are quite a few grammatical errors in the piece. On a positive not the story is quite original and it does leave me wondering how things will progress. The story has a fast pace that keeps the reader interested."
