Profoundly Interesting...
I found your prologue to be an intriguing, unique take in the romance genre. I especially appreciated how you introduced one of your main topics, (themes) by exploring the restraints of fate and how insidious the expectations of those closest to you can be. One thing I would recommend altering is a specific line recounting Ella's anguish, "to go up to the tree house after the boys... Christian wouldn't look out for the nest and the eggs would fall out an die" (Once Bytten). In this instance, I feel as though by creating a personal attachment to these bird eggs (for Ella), like saying she fondly took care of them as she eagerly awaited their hatching, would accentuate Christian's indifference to Ella's emotions and better hint at the "controlling, manipulative billionaire" he is to become. Moreover, this will emphasize young Ella's unassailable determination when she proclaims she will never wed Christian.
I do hope my insight will be beneficial to you,
XOXO, S
Read the story now