prologue
Her POV
The stone steps of Riverside Institution stretched out in front of me like something out of a gothic novel. I was intimidated. And not just by the fact that I wasn’t sure what lay beyond those tall, dark, medieval-looking doors.
This was the kind of place where the walls remembered things long after people forgot. And here I stood at the foot of it, unsure whether I was about to be saved or swallowed whole.
Maybe this was the key to unlocking everything I’d buried. Or maybe it would just hand me more silence, more confusion. But either way, I was here.
And I was here to forget him.
Gwen hauled my suitcase out of her trunk and let it fall to the pavement with a soft thud. “You sure you want to do this?” She asked, biting her bottom lip like it might keep the question from escaping.
I didn’t look at her. My eyes were still trained on the door. “Funny. My mom asked me the same thing.”
“Well,” She started, stepping up beside me. “You can’t really blame her. People go into places like this and they don’t come out the same.”
“I can’t afford to,” I answer quietly.
That was the truth of it.
Leo Carmichael wasn’t just a bad relationship. He was a hurricane. A man who showed love like a knife—sharp, heated, always one wrong move away from cutting too deep. And I was the fool who stood in the path of it, again and again, convinced that pain meant passion.
I’d tried to hold on, tried to understand him. I made excuses for his outbursts, forgave his lies, let the way he touched me rewrite everything I knew about trust. But it kept breaking me. And I was exhausted after bleeding for someone who was incapable of bandaging anything.
“He’s gone,” I say aloud, more to myself than to her. “He fled LA like a coward...that should’ve made it easier, but it hasn’t.”
“Because he still gets access to the parts of you that were meant for you only,” She says, gently tapping a finger against my temple.
I turned to her, finally, and saw the sadness in her eyes. She hadn’t wanted it to get this far. None of us had.
“I don’t know what I’m going to find in there,” I admitted, “but it’s the only place that feels like safety.”
In these fleeting moments, I wasn’t sure what I was doing. I obviously had my doubts about whether I truly wanted this. But there simply weren’t any other alternatives that would guarantee the safety I required, while offering the help and support I needed.
“I know, Ella-bell,” She agrees, pulling me into a tight hug. “I just hate this had to be your haven.”
She held me for a long time, her voice softer now. “Do me a favour while you’re in there?”
“Sure.”
"While you’re working on forgiveness, don’t forget to find it for yourself."
Her words cracked something in me, and absentmindedly, I held her tighter.
She let go first after we dragged this moment on for as long as we could.
The wheels of my suitcase clicked against the concrete as I walked up the steps, one after the other, not daring to look back at my best friend still standing at the foot. My hand hovered over the door handle, heart pounding loud enough to drown out every last excuse I’d been clinging to.
I was about to cross the line—the before and after. And I was finally stepping over to the other side.
Behind me, Gwen got back into her car. Ahead of me, a life without Leo waited.
Or so I hoped.
Because even now, despite everything, I couldn’t shake the feeling in my soul that he wasn’t as far away as I needed him to be. That no matter how much distance I tried to put between us...
Leo would always find his way back.
