Chapter 1 - Me
I hope for love, and for happiness. But the sad truth is that for most, this is inevitably doubtful.0
The average human speaks around seven thousand words a day, and yet somehow, I, a capable young woman, can't acquire the words to help discover love and happiness. I wonder why this is.
Why do I feel as if there is only one thing in this world that gives me the tiniest amount of happiness? The runner's high. Running for miles in an exasperating attempt to feel something. To feel happy. Sprinting to the finish, breathing heavily at the end. And then that's just it. It's the end.
No more euphoria. No more love. Just nothingness. A deep pit filled with anger and sadness, and once that is gone there is nothing. This was the weight I carried on my shoulders. The imminent fact that I would always feel empty inside. That I would always feel nothing.
Until I met you.
I also wanted to add that I like your descriptive you were with words. As a reader, I find that to be a plus if a writer is descriptive in just the right and exact way. And lastly, maybe you can try to shorten your paragraphs. They're quite bulky and a lot to unpack so it will really help if you divide them so as not to overwhelm the readers. I hope you find my review helpful and it gave you some new insights. I wish you the best of luck with your writing!
love this! it's gripped me from the very beginning
Hi, I found this book through the beta readers thread and thought I would come check it out! If you were worried about the concept not being a hit, I think those worries were unfounded. As someone who will continue to deal with mental illness my whole life, it is so nice to read about other people going through it too. I think what you have so far is a very good start. The only thing I would have liked to see a little more of is character development and world building. I know you've only got a short portion here for us to read so it's a bit much to ask, but I think there are some good opportunities to explain a bit more about Ella and what her current life circumstances are just in these chapters alone. Just something extra to draw us into her world and become really invested in her story. What are her surroundings while she's running? Does she have friends? What is her family and home life like? I know we'll find out more about Ella as we read, but I think if you add a little more meat to the beginning, you'll have excellent retention of readers.