What is your opinion?
Nice begining
"The first chapter starts strong. Interesting concept. Near the end you have a long paragraph, you might want to break it up so it is not so intimidating. You have the start, if you have the end in mind all you have to do is fill in the bit in the center. Good luck."
Cool
"I really loved this book and the many changes it went to to get where it is now. I.e, Rebel of the Pride to Dark Mountain, or snow leopards to wolves, yeah. It is overall very well written and advanced. Now, I must say I did notice a lot of mistakes in your writing. Nothing a swift edit couldn't fix, though. I reccomend installing grammarly into your chrome browser in your chromebook and that would make this pristine. Also, I feel as if you rushed the first chapter a bit. What you wrote would be about four pages in a real book, and in those four pages some wolf pups snuck out, a deer was killed, a human was found, and Ayza was killed. It just seemed a bit rushed. Lastly, please, I really do not want things copied from Lost or Broken! I saw you called them Protectors - Ahem? Also light against dark - that is something in both of my books. In Broken, there is a tree of light and dark, conflicting life that Diamond leads on (Chapter one.) And in Lost, the Pack of Whispering Stars against the Pack of Lurking Shadows - a concept shared greatly in your book. Nonetheless, I will be keeping up with this and I am excited to hear the new chapters!"
Cool
"I really loved this book and the many changes it went to to get where it is now. I.e, Rebel of the Pride to Dark Mountain, or snow leopards to wolves, yeah. It is overall very well written and advanced. Now, I must say I did notice a lot of mistakes in your writing. Nothing a swift edit couldn't fix, though. I reccomend installing grammarly into your chrome browser in your chromebook and that would make this pristine. Also, I feel as if you rushed the first chapter a bit. What you wrote would be about four pages in a real book, and in those four pages some wolf pups snuck out, a deer was killed, a human was found, and Ayza was killed. It just seemed a bit rushed. Lastly, please, I really do not want things copied from Lost or Broken! I saw you called them Protectors - Ahem? Also light against dark - that is something in both of my books. In Broken, there is a tree of light and dark, conflicting life that Diamond leads on (Chapter one.) And in Lost, the Pack of Whispering Stars against the Pack of Lurking Shadows - a concept shared greatly in your book. Nonetheless, I will be keeping up with this and I am excited to hear the new chapters!"
Cool
"I really loved this book and the many changes it went to to get where it is now. I.e, Rebel of the Pride to Dark Mountain, or snow leopards to wolves, yeah. It is overall very well written and advanced. Now, I must say I did notice a lot of mistakes in your writing. Nothing a swift edit couldn't fix, though. I reccomend installing grammarly into your chrome browser in your chromebook and that would make this pristine. Also, I feel as if you rushed the first chapter a bit. What you wrote would be about four pages in a real book, and in those four pages some wolf pups snuck out, a deer was killed, a human was found, and Ayza was killed. It just seemed a bit rushed. Lastly, please, I really do not want things copied from Lost or Broken! I saw you called them Protectors - Ahem? Also light against dark - that is something in both of my books. In Broken, there is a tree of light and dark, conflicting life that Diamond leads on (Chapter one.) And in Lost, the Pack of Whispering Stars against the Pack of Lurking Shadows - a concept shared greatly in your book. Nonetheless, I will be keeping up with this and I am excited to hear the new chapters!"
Cool
"I really loved this book and the many changes it went to to get where it is now. I.e, Rebel of the Pride to Dark Mountain, or snow leopards to wolves, yeah. It is overall very well written and advanced. Now, I must say I did notice a lot of mistakes in your writing. Nothing a swift edit couldn't fix, though. I reccomend installing grammarly into your chrome browser in your chromebook and that would make this pristine. Also, I feel as if you rushed the first chapter a bit. What you wrote would be about four pages in a real book, and in those four pages some wolf pups snuck out, a deer was killed, a human was found, and Ayza was killed. It just seemed a bit rushed. Lastly, please, I really do not want things copied from Lost or Broken! I saw you called them Protectors - Ahem? Also light against dark - that is something in both of my books. In Broken, there is a tree of light and dark, conflicting life that Diamond leads on (Chapter one.) And in Lost, the Pack of Whispering Stars against the Pack of Lurking Shadows - a concept shared greatly in your book. Nonetheless, I will be keeping up with this and I am excited to hear the new chapters!"
Cool
"I really loved this book and the many changes it went to to get where it is now. I.e, Rebel of the Pride to Dark Mountain, or snow leopards to wolves, yeah. It is overall very well written and advanced. Now, I must say I did notice a lot of mistakes in your writing. Nothing a swift edit couldn't fix, though. I reccomend installing grammarly into your chrome browser in your chromebook and that would make this pristine. Also, I feel as if you rushed the first chapter a bit. What you wrote would be about four pages in a real book, and in those four pages some wolf pups snuck out, a deer was killed, a human was found, and Ayza was killed. It just seemed a bit rushed. Lastly, please, I really do not want things copied from Lost or Broken! I saw you called them Protectors - Ahem? Also light against dark - that is something in both of my books. In Broken, there is a tree of light and dark, conflicting life that Diamond leads on (Chapter one.) And in Lost, the Pack of Whispering Stars against the Pack of Lurking Shadows - a concept shared greatly in your book. Nonetheless, I will be keeping up with this and I am excited to hear the new chapters!"
Fantastic!!
"First off, there needs to be more wolf books. This is very, very good. I recommend. Promise me something though; promise me that, when this book is finished, you will enter it into a contest on Inkitt or wherever. When that day comes, email me at my business email: [email protected] I will reserve a copy from you and help you out however I can."
Dark Mountain - a fantastic beginning!
"I think this is a really good start to something that has a lot of potential. When I was younger, I read tons of the Warriors books by Erin Hunter, so this is right up my alley. I liked that you used wolves in this. Wolves are very cool. Even though this is a short chapter, you give the reader a lot of information about the world the wolves' live in, and you instantly grab the reader's attention. Your setting and imagery was spot-on. I immediately had a picture of where the characters were and what they were doing. I also really liked the names in this story. I'm very curious as to where this story will go and what will happen next! This has a lot of potential. I know this is an early draft, but I must mention that I found a lot of typos and grammatical errors (this, of course, is to be expected at this point). I also thought that the ending was really rushed. The part where the she-wolf died felt very rushed and glazed-over. I wanted this to be more emotional for the other wolf. Even just giving a description of what she looks like while she's laying there would help with this. But, all in all, this is a great start! I can't wait to see what will happen next!"
