I'll Strapon You

"I have carefully gone through the story. I love the build-up of the story and the way events are gradually unfolding. The direction of the story tells me it is going to make an interesting read, no doubt at all. The starting characters like Selogenes, Arnaud, and perhaps Laura, are already setting a nice pace to the build-up of the story and that's interesting. However, I have a few suggestions. You must mind your grammar usage and punctuation. A few errors need fixing, I am sure you can handle that. Try and make the story flow more naturally and don't push it at a fast pace. Beautiful start and well done."