Emmanuel Abraham

Emmanuel Abraham is a prolific author of books. He has since written many other novels each a spine-tingling tale of supernatural, religious, technological, or physiological suspense.

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The Red Bandit

I am honored to be the first to review your book. Thanks for the privilege.

The story is fantastic, it is adult-driven because of the content. Not for Kids.
I honestly got myself entertained.

I took my time to read through the whole book and the writer was awesome.

Brilliant effort.

Wish you the best for the next book (Continuation)

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Look into My Eyes

Nicely done.

All stories have a unique way they present themselves and I am not surprised yours isn't any different.
Everything seems right to me, however, I have made a few comments perhaps that will help you either way.

Good work and brilliantly done.

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Playing with Death

The story is coming up well.

I am pretty sure when completed, it will make an interesting read, It will be too early to talk about your plot and character development,
I am sure you would take these into consideration when building your whole story,

A brilliant effort thus far.

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Pills and Broken Glass

Nice work indeed.
The plot and character seem lovely.

Brilliant effort.

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The Horror of Montwood Mansion

Lovely storyline.

I feel more can be done to make it more horror attractive. Explore your creative potential.

Character development and the story structure were nice, and I believe there are other interesting parts of this story to be revealed.

A brilliant effort thus far!

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The Haunting Daunt

I am impressed.

The story was lovely and it got this scare that just keeps you in suspense...lovely!

I have made a few comments that might help.

Overall, it was a good story base on its fiction type.

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Flame Johnson

The story is starting off pretty well.

What is left to be done is to finish it, so we have a complete story on what became of Flame Johnson and if Jerome ever crosses her path again and perhaps, a lot more other goodies for readers to enjoy.

Brilliant effort.

Overall, it was a good start. I suggest you go ahead and finish.

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Living with dying

I love the fact the story was centered on a school environment. And the play out between Winter and the likes of Leo and Falcon was lovely.

The way the story progress was nice but the chapter is shorted perhaps that's the way you want it, each chapter leaves me with a belief there is more to read.

Love the energy and effort behind the story but at some point, it was as if you struggled. I guess you can pull through other chapters conveniently if you structure your storyline and build strongly on it. Expand your ideas, it will help.

Good effort!

Overall I love the story, it will definitely be worth reading when completed.

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The Banished Siren

I decided to sit up and take a look at your story. I love the storyline and the logical sense behind the build-up.

Honestly, the story is going on fine, I believe in the way it was intended.

I love the character development and the story structure, it is nice, and I love to see more drama in the next chapters.

I love the energy and drive to push the story nicely to create a naturally entertaining story, lovely done.

Your attempt to keep your grammar flawless was clearly seen and that's good.

Overall, it was a good effort and to me, it is a story worth reading.

Good work so far!

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My Brother's Best Friend is My Mate

I am enjoying myself already. I love the storyline and the gradual build-up of the story. It is a story that anybody can relate to easily.

I love the energy put into it and the way the story was held up to give the entertainment it naturally intends.

I equally love the characters (notably, Emerald and Spenser). The story structure just keeps climbing and that's nice.

However, I suggest you give it a bit of editing to make the story sparkle.

Overall, it was an amazing effort.

Good work.

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From Alpha to Luna

I will say I' m privilege to read a story like this. I actually read to a point where I felt I can give a candid opinion.
I love the storyline and how its flows gradually. I can imagine the efforts put into it, lovely.

However, I have this suggestion to make. With a little bit of editing the story will sparkle.

Well done and good luck with your story.

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Valdis

The build-up of the story. was interesting even though it was historical. I knew you have to do this for the purpose of creating an understanding of how everything began. I love the way it gradually unfolds! honestly, it was a difficult historical background to comprehend, it requires careful read to understand how everything unfolded to Valdis, I mean her linage.

The history, I thought would be stopped at chapter one but somehow it prolonged. I would have preferred it confined to chapter one or maybe two, but from what I see, it is going to be a pretty long story.

I love the energy behind your narration.

However, I suggest the following. You still got a few editing (grammar structure and punctuations) to do to smoothen its flow.

Try to make the discussion between characters more engaging.

I am sure the story will be loved by many readers.

Overall, it was a good effort.

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DIARIES OF A FIGHTER

The way the story unfolds and just kept on wanting me to read more was incredible. I felt like going to Japan to eat Sushi!

I love combat sports and the way you presented the story came to me as though I am watching a film.

The beautiful story build-up and characters you got just make everything lovely.

However, do keep a closer watch on your grammar.

Overall, It is a nice effort. You work so hard on this book and it showed.

Good work, BLTNANOX.

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I'll Strapon You

I have carefully gone through the story. I love the build-up of the story and the way events are gradually unfolding.
The direction of the story tells me it is going to make an interesting read, no doubt at all.
The starting characters like Selogenes, Arnaud, and perhaps Laura, are already setting a nice pace to the build-up of the story and that's interesting.

However, I have a few suggestions.
You must mind your grammar usage and punctuation. A few errors need fixing, I am sure you can handle that.
Try and make the story flow more naturally and don't push it at a fast pace.

Beautiful start and well done.

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Relive

I love the storyline, however, it takes intelligence to unravel the content to your advantage. It was a beautiful story and will make an interesting read when completed.

However, I have a few suggestions to make.

You must watch your grammar structure and punctuation. Some connecting words are missing perhaps for the rush to put down your ideas on paper. I am sure you can fix it by taking a closer look at your sentences like an editor.

Your build-up was fast, maybe that was why I didn't get it from the start, unfold the story naturally and gradually for ease. I guess you understand what I meant?

Overall, I love the story.

Good work, Peace.

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KINTSUkuroi

Nice work.

The Story went well, but I suggest you stop using Savan, the reagent giant leader, and the woman to describe Savan, just use Savan only when she came to the human realm to allow for clarity.

The creativity was awesome and it made an interesting read.

Well done.

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The Ties That Bind

It was a lovely story and one I am sure a lot of people will love to read.

I do not have a way of faulty your storyline but I would love to say you must watch your grammar structure, that;s your technical writing and misspelling and I know that can be taken care of by a bit of editing.

I love the flow of the story and I love the character, Tally.

It was a brilliant storyline and with a good narrative sense. I am impressed.

Well done

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The October Amaryllis

A brilliant effort I must say.

I am certain it's going to make an interesting read.

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Distant Lands

I love the storyline.
It is part 2 of the first, and the way it is going is excellent, but I suggest you make it more compelling and try to bring in more excitement and suspense that would want to make you go for the next page without hesitation.
I love your uniqueness.

Brilliant effort!.

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Distant Lands

I love the narration, quite an excellent effort to expand the storyline.

However, I didn't fully complete it. I am impressed with the chapters I read so far.

Brilliant effort!

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Diary of the Next Ted Bundy

The story is undoubtedly going on well.

I am sure you will gradually work on the character building. I love the characters so far.,
I love detective stories, please make this one special and suspenseful, and I think it will get the attention it deserves.

It is a brilliant effort thus far.

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Wicked Love

Nice work.

I see the passion behind every word. Quite an interesting story.

Brilliant effort.

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Our Souls at Midnight

Good work done.

Gave more insights into life.

A brilliant effort indeed.

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The Arena: Enigma

Good storyline.

I enjoyed myself while the story lasted, and I love the suspense that helped grew my appetite.
The story's character and structure were lovely.

A brilliant effort and I hope you keep the momentum to finish.

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The Dowry Thief

Good storyline.

I would have preferred a free flow of the story, but that's my opinion.

Character development and the story structure were impressive and with a bit of poetry coming in, it makes it colorful, perhaps.

The suspense drove me a bit off, but it's nothing.

A brilliant effort thus far.

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The Dutch's Bottle

Good storyline.

The writing style is unbelievable, but I kind of like it.
Character development and the story structure were impressive and the suspense just stirs.

Fantastic effort.

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Mafia's Baby Girl

Good story.

I think you have the instinct of a good storyteller.
My worry, however, is your grammar, try to edit before uploading to be read by readers.

I love the suspense though, but I guess there is much to be done to keep the momentum in which you started the story. I am sure you know what to do to keep the story more captivating.

I would love to read the rest of the story when completed.

A brilliant effort thus far.

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Hypnagog

Good storyline.

Love the story and its sensibility. This can happen in real life where people just get entangled naturally with bad things but to me, that's abnormal and can be changed by God.

Quite catchy and readers will love it.

Incredible effort by the writer to put this together!

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What If He Didn't Die

Nice work.

The attraction is captivating and the character build-up is lovely.

The story flows naturally and I guess there is more ahead especially when I get to know he is not dead as Easter is made to believe, suspenseful indeed.

GOOD EFFORT.

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DEERBORN

Worth reading!

Character development was good, and I love the idea that teenagers' focus came into the limelight.

Brilliant effort from the writer to put this together.

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The Oracle

A pretty nice storyline.

It was a bit difficult to devour at first, perhaps largely for its poetic style and language usage, however, I believe there is more in store to open up the story further into a faster pace, easy and understandable piece.

I suggest you use more flowing vocabulary.

Brilliant effort.

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The Girl Who Cried Wolf

Brilliant effort to keep the story going on an amazing momentum.

I did enjoy myself while it lasted.

The character development was a bit narrow but was on point for the nature of the story content.
The structure wasn't bad but honestly, the story needs reading in between the line to grab it or you lost it at some point. I just felt that was suspenseful...

Lovely story.

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A Realm Within

I love the writer's creativity, fantastic.

Stories are about getting the reader's attention, and I think the writer did that to a large extent. 'Crazy storyline' but a very interesting story, you just have to read the details to get the direction of the writer's thoughts.
Suggest you bring in more characters to expand the storyline.

Good effort and brilliant also.

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Phantom Dreams

I made some comments already,

Please go on with your story and finish, didn't expect it to be this short. I love to read more.

Go on, good starting already!

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Anastasia

Anyone who loves horror books will definitely love this story. Though still ongoing, I see a lot of potential in it.

Keep the momentum.

Brilliant effort and good creativity.

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Hand of Death

Nice work.

However, I would have preferred more introduction to some of the characters from the starting to help my reading.
Keep the pace and momentum going.

Good effort.

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NAMUH

I am pleased with the storyline.

It will make an interesting read. I would like you to keep up the momentum and make the characters come alive in such a way everyone can feel the impact of the story you intend to pass across.

Brilliant effort.

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Emily's Mad World

The story is coming out nicely.

Keep up the momentum and suspense building, I am pretty sure it is going to make an impressive and interesting read.

Brilliant effort.

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Love Me Do

I was impressed by the way the story was told right from the start. The writer is talented and the power of narration behind the walls of each character was just awesome.

It was a good effort.

I am sure it is a story people will love to read.

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The Human Mate

The story is starting well. But, I am certain with more creativity on your part will give it the needed attention it deserves. This is where your writing talent has to show up.
I suggest you bring in more characters that will spread the tentacles of the lead character.

A brilliant effort thus far.

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One Step at a Time

A promising storyline.

It is inspirational, and I am sure a lot of readers would benefit from it once completed.

A brilliant effort.

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BORN LIKE THIS

I read through some portion of your work and I was impressed. Quite on the religious side perhaps the way you like it.
I would have suggested you focus more on character-building, perhaps.

Good work.

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Chaos Queen

I am privileged to be the first to review this work. Interestingly it is going well and I hope as you progress with the story it wouldn't Waterdown.

Brilliant effort.

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Captain Every's Lost Treasure

I like travel books. And I love this one.

The way the story is being lifted from the start brought more hunger to know what next the main character was up to.

Brilliant effort, hope the momentum keeps increasing to create more attraction.

Good work so far.

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The Girl in the Lake

I admire the storyline and I am pretty sure it has other impressive chapters ahead.

The story is coming up well but can't say much now for a chapter is not enough for me to offer the needed constructive. criticism.

However, it is a good start.

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Leah &Kitty-The Saint and The Prostitute

The story is lovely and sounded lovely too.
I love the story narration and its unique flow.

Brilliant effort. I wish I could suggest ways the writer could make it better, but overall it was a beautiful story and it was very engaging.

Good work.

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Divine Charity

The story content is rich and engaging. Undoubtedly, I enjoyed myself, I wished I could finish it all.
I admire the energy the writer put together to churn out such a lovely story.
It was a brilliant effort.

The characters are incredible, the plot lovely.

Good storyline.

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Love Her Right

A brilliant effort to put this story together.

The characters, buildup, and suspense are making the story add up more flesh.
What will become of Jolie?

Nice way to make us ask for more.

Good storyline.

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Chat with me

Nice work.
The story is getting more embracing, lovely.

Good effort.

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Peonies on the Window

The story is captivating. I think you are a natural storyteller, obviously, you are nailing it.

Everything seems to be on point and where the story stopped thus far kept me in suspense about what will become of the runaway Caitlyn. She is having a handful already.

Nicely done, hope to see the story finish well.

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In The End.

Nice work.
Sustain the buildup.

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Malignus

The story reveals an amazing richness. Everything thing seems to be near perfect and that is a trait of a good writer.

At some point, the story sounded poetic and that was a mixture of good taste.

Brilliant effort, Keep the story going.

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That One Ride

I have read through the story and I believe it is building up in the right direction in some ways with the few chapters laid already.

I believe you got a story to tell.

Good effort.

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Inmate #1374

I love the story line but I don't like the unrealistic way Joyce kills at will.

A great effort!

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Love that never fades away

I love the story, but I would prefer you to give it more life and creativity.

I love the suspense coming in between chapters. I just felt something is missing, that stir, that flavor. I mean, a little more needs to be done to make the story stand out the way I felt you would love to have it.

A good effort thus far.

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Naked

I am impressed with the story.

Honestly, it has a lot of lessons to learn from which to me was important.
So much to learn from the world today, unfortunately, many are slow learners and they get hurt, learn their lessons and then move on.
Mac was the lead character that showed us what this was all about, having a father who hates failure. she knew having a second bite from an early crazy relationship was irrelevant. I hope she finds a reliable love upfront.

Nicely done and I am sure the story will appeal to most readers.

A good effort thus far!

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Second Impressions

The story is going well.
I think I enjoyed myself while it lasted and I am pretty sure it will have a lot of drama up front.
The characters are a great combination, I am sure with more characters coming in, it will just make it a near-perfect story.

Overall, it is progressing nicely, keep the momentum, and don't you ever go flat. More ideas, more creativity is what are needed to power it to a more admirable story.

A good story thus far.

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The Aldean Chronicles: Hidden

Reading through this story was amazing. It is a story from another realm, a realm that doesn't seem like ours and that is the twist that makes it a lot of fun and worth reading.

Magical stories are always quite interesting to read and the writer was able to hold her own carefully to deliver a nice story for the world to see. I admire the brilliance to put this up so far.

What I will only say as a way of suggestion to help is that the story needs a bit of editing for it to sparkle beyond the level it is now.

Great effort!

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Candyland

The story is gradually building up being powered by creativity and thoughtful imagination. I am sure the horror of it will start unfolding more pretty soon.
I think the storyline is going well so far. And it has lessons to learn about, like avoiding teenage pregnancy, which is nice.
It is a little too early to make a concrete suggestion but I will simply add by saying that you work more on the area of character development. I am sure this grey area will be cleared pretty soon as more chapters are added.

It was a good and lovely start.

Well done.

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Faking My Dealth.

It is a story worth reading in full.

I like the way it all started and I hope you will hang on to the end to make it even more compelling and interesting at completion.

It is a good effort so far.

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To you whom I reliesh the most

This is simply more of a letter than a story.

The letter seems lovely but I would have preferred reviewing a story rather than a letter.

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CORRUPTED CRIMSON

I liked the storyline and I am sure when completed it will be more lovely and attractive to most readers.

The effort and drive invested thus far are brilliant. Please don't lose focus on giving the story more bite and balance.
I suggest bringing in more characters to create more suspense and flavor.

Overall, it was a smooth drive. I wish the writer well with her story.

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HOSTAGE

I love the story and the way you intend to pattern it.

Honestly not much to be said, but to encourage you to develop the characters to their expected potentials and structure the story to grasp more attention, bring in the suspense, and all that...

I love the energy behind the story and the ongoing presentation of it, quite a brilliant effort thus far.

Overall, going well, seems good!

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Bounded Strings

I felt like reading more until I checked again, the story is still ongoing!

Well, the story is nice, but I would love to see more bite around Sierra, Eva, Zion, and Soren. Perhaps, upfront all this will be on display.

The character development wasn't bad at all, a nice plot, and the story structure may be a little shaky from the start, I suggest you have to build it up nicely, seeing you still got more chapters ahead.

Good effort, I must say, and the story will surely catch the attention of readers especially those who love stories centered around campus.

Overall, it is a lovely storyline!

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Witch's Link

I read to the point where I can comfortably review this story (Witch's Link)

Honestly, I just fell in love with the story. When you look at the story title, you just have this awful feeling that its content is going to be scary but the story knocks me off my feet.
The gradual build-up, plot, structure, and character development were fascinating, it pushes you to want more!
The story was brilliantly handled and delivered. It is worth reading.

Amazing effort on the writer's part, I just love its flow and pattern.

Overall, it was a lovely story and will surely get the needed attention it deserves.

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The Story of Adeline May

I am done reading, more like you are testing waters.

I like the story and its simplicity, but I felt it was somehow drifted away from the mind-blowing trauma Adeline had from the start.

I would have loved to see more impact her mom's demise had on her perhaps not emotionally since she kind of has resistance to that like her Dad (at least the story told us that), probably mentally or psychologically. Let that drama play out in a unique way and catch our attention and on how, she managed to get over it... sure you understand my point.

I suggest you shouldn't be too casual about the story, the storyline is quite a trending one and a lot of people will certainly want to see how Adeline handles it all to the end, it will definitely help others in her situation.
You better sit up and give this story the life it deserves.
Your grammar usage is nice but a little editing is required to polish it up nicely.

Overall, good effort.

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ON THE VERGE

I have read to a point where I am sure I can give a candid opinion to your story.

I love the fact it is completed, that was a great effort from you. The story took a while to pick up but it eventually did nicely and that was brilliant.

However, I have a few suggestions which of course are not odd.
Your work needs editing for example in chapter 4, there were a few words repeated. Some chapters were too detailed, but can be left that way if you feel it will make readers grab it well.

Definitely, with good editing, the work will sparkle the way you intend it.

Overall, good work and brilliant effort.

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The Barrier: Two Worlds

I like the story, but I felt that any story that has to do with the supernatural should be a little more simplified for good comprehension.

I suggest you simplify other chapters for easy understanding, sometimes you sounded poetic and your usage of undigestible vocab seems to temper with the flow of the story.

I see the effort put into the story already and how you struggle to guild it against flaws, too early to talk about a few errors that need editing, but please watch it.

Overall, the story is yielding good results already. Simplified other chapters, and do not make them too mystical or incomprehensible.

Good work.

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Family Day

I already see the direction of the story, it is easy to know it because of its simplicity and the way it all started.

The gradual build-up and easy-to-understand storyline made it more interesting and a delight to read.

You really watched your grammar and added extra hard work to make your story nearly perfect.

Good work!

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The other Side of Love

I have read through your story and I am pleased with it.

But there are a few suggestions, I am sure will be helpful.

There are some repeated sentences I think in chapter two you have to check out. Some paragraphs are pretty too long, need breaks (Punctuations).
And with a few editing of the story, I am sure it will make a very interesting read.

I love your narration but I suggest you bring in more characters if you can.

Overall, the story is lovely

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Le Givre

I love the story. Amazing! You just kept reading to see the next chapter.
It will sure make an interesting read.

I love the effort put into it to sensitize everyone especially the females. I am sure there is a lot of lessons to learn from the story.
At some point, it wanted to look more horror-like but I think it never got to that extreme as I thought, but mild.

A few suggestions though, watch your grammar and punctuation.
Try to connect every paragraph carefully and thoughtfully. It seems to me you are putting ideas down too fast. Let it flow naturally because I know, you know exactly what you want to tell your audience, let the build-up be gradual.

I love the narration and different examples to buttress your point'

Overall, a good story with morals!

Good work.

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An Open Book

I love the build-up to the story but honesty writing a review on a chapter is quite tricky, especially when you don't know the direction the author may be heading on after the first chapter.
However, since you really love to know the impact of your first chapter, I will try to give you a constructive feedback.

Your character development and story structure are still in the infant state. You must proceed to the next chapter and then the next to develop all these for more effective feedback.

The storyline is lovely. It fits nicely into life situations. but how you make the world see it from your angle is what matters most.
And please don't rush your ideas be gradual about it, so the story just flows naturally. Watch your grammar usage and punctuations from the onset.

Overall, it is a good start, I am sure when the story is fully completed, it will make an interesting read.

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Battle of the Heart

The story just keeps on wanting me to see the next chapter. I love its flow, suspense, and gradual build-up.

I am sure as you progress you will build more on your character development. Bring in more confrontational characters and let's see how Alice can handle it, it sucks though but it is the fun. This way, you don't make the story more on the narrative.
Keep a close watch on your grammar.

Overall, the story is worth reading and I am sure it will appeal nicely to a lot of readers.

Good work!

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For Sale: Haunted House

First off, I will like to say I love the first chapter you released.

The creativity and the narration were awesome.

Honestly, I would have loved to read more perhaps to chapter four to have a good judgment or direction of the storyline and how the story will unfold perhaps into character development and all that, but since this is what you have for feedback, for now, I will give you my candid opinion (review).

Good work, please finish up.

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whispers of the heart

I read up to a point I felt I can give honest feedback.

I love the story and the amazing effort the writer put up to make it flawless and content-friendly.

The story structure was beautiful, the character development well guarded and I like the plot too.

I am sure a lot of readers will find it interesting.

Good work, Nana.

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PATIENT #00647

I am so delighted to be the first to write a review on 'Patient #00647

I love the story, the way it started, and the gradual and progressive build-up. And what the storyline entails just makes the content most wanted.

I see your effort to make the book grammar and content friendly. Please continue in this direction. Good work!

I can't really say more but honestly, I am loving the story already, finish up Brooks.

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The Unseen

I have read enough to give my review on The Unseen.

I love the storyline. You got a lot in your mind and I noticed you're putting it down on paper in a rush. I love the build-up of the story because the way you started was absolutely fantastic.

I noticed the work had not been fully edited.

Words from the different characters overlapped and the use of punctuation was almost completely ignored. I know you can fix this, please do so you polish the story nicely.

Your Grammer usage should be carefully monitored to allow for easy read and flow.
Try to see if more actions come into play. I mean aggressions and all that, to depict what the title entails.

What are the mafia groups doing? Give the story more life by more actions.

Overall, I love the story and it will make an interesting read for a larger audience.

Good work, Writing Curlyhead.

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Rain of Fury

Honestly, I have read enough to give my review on, Rain of Fury!

The storyline is trending and I love it. A lot of things happen in our generation that need fixes. Families should live righteous to keep their Kids clean. Evil past will always hunt in the future.

I love the story, the plot, and the way you developed the story. Xavier and Raya looked set to boost the story. I kind of love their combination.

I suggest the following, your grammar structure needs fixing (spellings), paragraphs need proper breaking with appropriate punctuation. I guess the rush to put your ideas on paper would have been a cause, relax and fix it. I know you can, Ciara

If the few short scenes can be broadened, it would be nice. Don't bother if you can't.

Overall, I love the story. It will certainly catch the attention it deserves from readers.

Good work, Ciara.

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Herois, The Dark Bond

I love the build-up of the story and how everything unfolds. My confusing thoughts about the first chapter just fizzled out when the second chapter came.

How you managed the characters especially fixing up activities and blending it with love affairs between Isabelle, Luke and Alex was amazing.

I have a few suggestions though, you must check your grammar and punctuation. Some paragraphs need breaks using punctuations. Some authors tend to ignore this especially when they hurry ideas on paper and all that.

Don't push the story too fast, just naturally unfold it.

Overall, I love the story and it will catch the attention of readers. Good work, Parker.

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Caged

The story is good and I admire your power of narration and style.

The plot is alright, your character development is intriguing and I just like the story structure, I mean the way you alternate the characters was awesome. Perhaps if I say you didn't put up a nice work, I should be asking for too much!
Good work, Ann.

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The Scrupulous Gentleman

I just felt like reading all through but I am sure I have had enough to give a constructive feedback ( Read up to chapter 4 )

The story is lovely and I like the content and the build-up. It will certainly make an interesting read.

I suggest you reformat long paragraphs, check your grammar usage, and bring in a few characters if you can. Edmund's role is comedic in many ways and I love it!

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The social misfit

Based on the few chapters read the story is pretty interesting but needs some fixing like grammar and a few restructuring.
And with other necessary parameters like plot, character, story development, etc duly considered I am sure it will make a good read.

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friday night thriller

The story is undoubtedly interesting. I love your power of narration. and suspense.

I noticed the moment other characters came in, it made the almost narrowed story alive.

Bring in more characters with attractive leading roles. I was fascinated by how you handle the story so well with a few characters from the start! That was brilliant.

I suggest you expand the storyline a little bit if not more beyond its present limit, to allow for more scenes.

And lastly, be mindful of a few wrong spelling.

Overall, it was an interesting read and I know others will love reading it too!

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I CAN ONLY SAY THAT IT DENTED ME

Honestly, I like your story and I know I will love it even more when completed!

Your power of description got me fascinated. I am pleased.

Here are my few observations though, since you are still on the story.

The beginning of your story is a little bit hard to comprehend but gradually the story unfolds nicely.

I noticed a bit of exaggeration at the beginning like having sex a million times and all that, I know you have a good replacement for all that, that's why you are the writer!
I suggest you don't use too much of vulgar because, with less of it, it comes morally alive even with the nature of the story you are telling!
A lot of Persons do masturbate today, if there is a way out in your story, it may just ice the cake!

Nice story!
It is making an interesting read already, go on and finish it. I love to read all of it!

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