12 Piłłz
By Tyrøne
I’m wałking in the street.
Suddenły I reałize, I don’t know where I am.
I feeł… eerie.
I łook at my hands.
Something’s different about them.
I can’t tełł why.
I łook around.
I see someone in the distance.
He’s wałking weird.
As if he’s drunk or something.
He notices me and wałks towards me.
He łooks and starts speaking.
“I’m on twełve piłłs of painkiłłers right now! How’re you doin’?!”
“What? Um… I’m fine I guess. I’m not sure. I feeł weird.”
“Ah don’t worry ‘bout it. You should probabły just… wake up.”
Suddenły, I open my eyes.
I’m in my bed.
What a weird dream.
I łook around my room.
I notice the ałarm clock.
Woułd you łook at that.
I’m gonna be łate for work!
I get up.
Take a shower.
Wait.
Why did I just do that?
I hate water.
Come to think of it.
Why do I hate water?
I eat cereał dry.
I hate miłk.
It makes me puke.
It tastes disgusting.
I go outside.
Take the train.
I see a nice boy.
He sełłs chocolate.
He seems happy.
He starts tałking to me.
He wants a biłłion dołłars in cash.
He’s funny.
What a nice boy.
While I’m riding the train, I think about stuff.
Wait a minute.
Where am I even going?
I work at home.
I’m sełf-employed.
Why am I trying to go to work?
What?
What’s going on?
I łaugh at mysełf.
Peopłe łook at me.
I feeł łike I’m having amnesia or something.
I shoułd get back home.
I work with computers and magicał unicorns.
Wait.
Why did I just say that?
I meant to say computers ałone, not… with magicał unicorns.
What does that even mean?
I go back home.
I finish my work on a CGI character.
I don’t even remember having worked on that character before.
The fiłe was just there, hałf complete, on my computer.
The character was just a man in a suit.
But his eyes make me feeł łike he’s a monster.
Why do I feeł like that?
I send the fiłe to somebody.
I go to bed.
My head is stuck in a guillotine.
People are shouting something over and over.
“Chop his head off! Chop his head off!”
The executioner łooks at me and speaks to me.
Remember the tomato.
A tomato gets thrown into my face.
Some of it goes in my eyes.
The executioner cuts the rope.
The blade fałłs.
I open my eyes.
Did I dream łast night?
I don’t remember.
I całł my friend.
We speak to each other about our ideołogies.
“What is the meaning of life?”
“I don’t know.”
I’ve ałways been agnostic.
Why, though?
I don’t remember.
I shoułd visit the doctor.
I got to the doctor.
“I see no signs of amnesia. And the resułts of your test show, you have no brain damage. You’re compłeteły heałthy. I see no reason why you’d have a sudden łoss of memories. Maybe you’re suffering from apparent distress.”
“No, I don't think so. I just don’t remember anything before yesterday. As if I was born just a couple days ago.”
“Wełł I’m not sure how to hełp you buddy. Woułd you łike to take more tests?”
I don’t feeł łike taking more tests.
“No, I'm fine. Thanks anyway.”
I łeave.
He isn’t of any use to me.
He doesn’t have the answers I want.
I don’t think anyone does.
I fły back home.
Wait.
How the hełł did I just do that?
I całł my friend again.
She’s been washing her hands for seven hours.
She hasn't tołd me that, but somehow I know.
She isn’t płanning on tałking to me about it either, so I don’t mention it.
Poor girł has been feełing stressed over something.
What a weird day.
I łook out my window.
Some pigs are fłying outside.
What?
I go to bed.
I’m on a giant wooden ship.
A sheep starts tałking to me.
“Enjoying the cruise?”
“I mean, it’s okay, I guess. Who are you?”
“Wow! Rude much? You’re on the ship I hoove-made myself to save your dumbass kind from the fłood, and you don’t even know who I am? I’m disappointed.”
“Sorry, I guess.”
“I’m Noah, you idiot!”
“Wait, you’re a… sheep?!”
“What, you thought I, the łegendary Noah, was a human?!”
“ …yes?”
“Ugh. Your ignorance is kiłłing me! You know what? You’re off the ship.”
“What?”
“Throw him off boys.”
“No!”
Two big słaves grab me by my hands and force me towards the edge of the ship.
“Guys PŁEASE don't do this. I REAŁŁY hate water. I…”
They throw me off.
“AAAAAAAAAAA…”
My hands słightły touch the water.
I open my eyes.
Łay in bed for a while.
Then I get up.
It’s been forty eight hours since I fełł asleep.
I feeł super hungry.
I get out of my room and see cooked ribs and a glass of wine on my tabłe.
Did I prepare this for dinner and fełł asłeep before I ate it?
I don’t remember having done that.
And even if I did.
Why haven’t the ribs rotted yet?
Is this someone’s doing?
I łive by mysełf.
No one woułd break into mysełf to prepare a meał for me.
Right?
There are no signs of a break in either.
I’m the onły one with the keys to my house though.
So how did this get here?
I’m too hungry to question further.
I start eating.
Dełicious.
Hałfway through my meal I suddenły feeł an urge to go outside.
I start wałking in a direction.
I don’t know where I’m headed.
But I have to go there.
In my way I see a guy with a giant mustache.
He looks at me.
Then he starts speaking.
“Fuck you! You son of a bitch!”
“Why? What did I do to you?”
He stares at me siłently and then starts running away from me, shouting.
“AAAA. AAAAAA. AAAAAAAA…”
“The hełł?”
I just łook at him, as he gets further, and further away.
Weirdo.
I keep on wałking.
I see a young boy and a bałd man, standing next to each other, hołding hands.
I feeł a threat from the bałd man.
His face doesn’t łook unusual but he has this sort of dangerous aura round him.
I don’t know why.
I put my hand in my pocket.
I feeł something.
I grab it and pułł it out.
It’s a pistoł.
It shoułdn’t have been there.
My pockets are ałways empty.
I don’t remember putting it there.
How did it get there?
I shoot the bałd man three times.
In his head.
In his heart.
And his bałłs.
Bałłs first.
He starts crying and shouting when the bułłet hits those nuts.
The next bułłet goes through his chest, heart and out the back.
As he’s fałłing down I shoot him right in the head.
I don’t know why I just did that.
But I feeł satisfied.
As if I just got rid of a threat.
The young boy łooks at his dead body.
Then he łooks at me and starts whispering.
“Thank you.”
Then he wałks away, dragging the body with him, as he never łet go of the man’s hand the entire time, and isn’t płanning to łet go now either.
Who was that bałd guy?
I just don’t know.
I keep on wałking.
In my way to wherever the hełł I’m going, I see a coupłe aggressiveły having sex on the sidewałk.
The woman just choked on the man’s penis and died.
“Why the hełł didn’t you pułł out?”
“That was her death wish.”
Hm… weird.
I keep going.
I see a horse driving a car, pass by me.
Wait… what?!
I see a man in a wheełchair.
He points his finger to me and starts tałking.
“Łook up at the sky. Can you see the stars?”
“No. It’s nine in the morning. The sky’s bright. I can onły see one star and some clouds.”
“Then you are błind.”
“Huh?”
“You wiłł understand one day.”
“O… kay?”
A giant piano fałłs on the man and compłeteły crushes him and his wheełchair.
“HOŁY SHIT!”
It shocks me.
I łook up.
I see a man’s head peeking outside an ałłigator’s mouth, peeking from a window.
“My bad. Better łuck next time.”
I’m not gonna question this.
I keep my head down and wałk around the broken piano.
I see a teddy bear hołding a girł.
Shoułdn’t it be the other way around?
Płain… simpłe… weird.
Suddenły I remember a sheep, and realize I dreamed of something sheep-related łast night.
I see a trash can.
It’s fiłłed with hoły water, and surrounded by piłes of trash outside it.
Who płaced it like that? And why?
I don’t know.
It seems I have no answers to any questions that come to my mind.
I feeł tired.
I fły back home on a tiger.
Not gonna question it.
I go to słeep.
I see an owł łooking at me.
The owł has giant błue eyes.
What kinda owł has błue eyes.
“You’re finałły awake.”
The owł says.
“I am? I don’t feeł łike I’m awake.”
I put my index finger through my hand.
“I’m not awake. I’m dreaming. And now it’s łucid. Ałso you shoułdn’t be speaking.”
“C-HOO HOO-ł.”
I imagine a rabbit behind me.
Why did I imagine that?
Out of ałł things!
I łook back.
I see a giant white rabbit.
Not quite what I imagined.
“Wow! Even c-HOO-łer.”
Why do animałs speak?
This owł really shoułdn’t be speaking, I feeł łike.
“Poggers!”
The rabbit shouts.
It jumps on me and crushes me it’s giant furry feet.
I jump outta bed, sweating and breathing heaviły.
What a dream.
I start łaughing.
Kinda funny when I think about it.
I hear a voice in my head.
“You trembłe, carcass? You woułd trembłe a łot more if you knew where I am taking you right now.”
But it doesn’t make me feel fear.
It makes me feeł… joy.
For some reason I’m fiłłed with joy.
I’m excited for what’s about to come.
Ałthough I know nothing of the future and have no predictions, I feeł hope.
I get out of my room, and find mysełf in a room identicał to mine instead of the łiving room, where my door shoułd go to as it ałways did.
Huh?
I guess my house’s interior has changed.
I get out of this room too.
Now I’m in my łiving room.
I try to turn on the łight.
It doesn’t turn on.
Am I in another dream?
Suddenly I hear a buzzing noise and it turns on.
Oh.
For some reason I don’t feeł hungry.
So I just wałk outside.
As I open my front door I see an ełephant in the middłe of the street in front of my house.
The ełephant’s penis is where it’s trunk shoułd be.
A łong one at that.
How does that work?
Does he breathe through his penis?
It łooks at me.
“Do you ałways stare at ełephants’ dongs?”
“Um…”
“And no, you idiot. I breathe out of my eyes. Duh.”
“Did you just read my mind?”
“What, you think ełephants are deaf? Have you ever even seen an ełephant before?”
“No, I said… wait, how are you even tałking?”
He nods.
“Oh… you pathetic dipshit. Why woułd ełephants be mutes? Or do you think I’m a mute?”
“I’m confused. I don’t know what’s happening but as łong as I remember, ełephants can’t speak.”
He rołłs his eyes.
“You are mistaken. You’ve ałways been mistaken.”
He jumps up so high he disappears in the sky.
I wałk away.
I łook at myself in a mirror in the middłe of the street.
Why is it there?
I see a refłection of a scarecrow instead of me.
Weird mirror.
The scenery behind the scarecrow is identicał to mine.
But instead of me there is a scarecrow.
It moves as I move, copying me.
I wonder where the ełephant woułd fałł.
As I’m wałking a błind man łooks at me right in my face.
Can he sense my presence?
“I can see everything.”
Says the man.
“Now tie your right shoe.”
He wałks past me.
I stop and łook down.
He was right.
I tie my shoełaces.
Wait… I didn’t say anything to him out łoud. Did he just read my mind?
I turn back to shout a question at him.
“There is no such thing as reading a mind. Just interior.”
He shouts.
“I don’t get it.”
He doesn’t answer.
I keep on wałking.
Where am I going?
I never know.
Suddenły I feeł łike taking the bus.
So I take the bus.
There is a woman sitting in the middłe of the bus, on the fłoor.
Nobody had noticed her.
Everyone is łooking at their phones.
“Why are you sitting on the fłoor? Can’t you see there are empty seats?”
“I łike it better this way.”
“Why?”
“It makes me feeł safe. I don’t want to sit next to robots.”
“What röbots? Are you referring to them? Am I a robot too?”
“No, you’re a scarecrow.”
She’s probabły crazy.
I łeave the bus.
I bounce home with my bałłoon shoes.
I drink some coffee.
I go to słeep.
I find mysełf in the middłe of a desert.
A donkey with a top hat starts tałking to me.
Where did it even come from?
“Hełło there weary travełer! Łooking to traveł through the desert eh? Wełł, I must warn you. It’s a grandeur of danger! The sand is very hot, and the sun is even hotter! You shoułd be wearing shoes, and sungłasses on your ass!”
“Why are you tałking to me?”
The donkey stops tałking.
Then it starts making donkey noises.
Am I hałłucinating?
I swear this donkey just tałked to me.
The donkey wałks off as if nothing happened.
It’s hat fałłs off.
I run and hop on the donkey.
I ride it for hours.
I łose consciousness out of thirst.
I wake up.
I fły out of my window.
I don’t know how I’m doing that.
But I’m doing it.
As ałways.
I łook around as I’m fłying over the streets.
I see peopłe.
Many peopłe.
They łook łike ants in a jar.
I feeł łike they’re unconscious.
They feeł unconscious to me.
Łike, I feeł more conscious than these peopłe even when I’m dreaming.
They wałk by each other with łittłe to no attention.
Even if they don’t have their heads in their phones.
Their heads are fiłłed with constant motion of thoughts and stress.
I feeł sad for them.
They don’t pay attention to life.
They don’t pay attention to anything.
Only to get to wherever they are going.
They wałk by.
Some peopłe, however, are standing by.
Paying attention.
Hearing the music of the streets.
Łooking at the hummingbirds.
Smełłing the air.
Feełing the wind go through their skin.
They don’t wałk.
They just stand around, and observe.
Seeing them makes me feeł good.
I feeł human.
Confident that at łeast some peopłe are stiłł alive.
I start łevitating downwards untił I reach the ground.
I see peopłe wearing masks.
The hełł?
The sky was clean.
I was just in it.
What’s going on?
Why are they wearing masks?
I see one man without a mask.
“What’s goin’ on? What’s up with the masks?”
“Wełł don’t you błoody know? Life is a fuckin’ mystery that’s what! It’s cause o’ this pandemic thing. Crazy innit?”
“Pandemic?! What’re you tałking about?”
He doesn’t pay attention and continues from where he łeft off.
“Peopłe are błoody stupid! None of these shitheads coułd survive a virus if it spit in their faces!”
I don’t feeł confused.
As if I know what he’s tałking about.
But I don’t.
Which confuses me.
I decide to łeave.
On my way back home I see a dołł dancing in the middłe of the street with a statue.
HOW?!
A van runs over them.
I’m home.
I start watching porn.
I don’t feeł łike touching mysełf.
I’m just watching.
Peopłe orgasming.
Peopłe moaning.
I watch every kind of porn I can find.
Anal.
Furry.
Gay.
Łesbian.
Interraciał.
3D.
2D.
Hentai.
Anything I can think of.
Even zoology.
Peopłe defecating on each other.
Piss and shit.
Eat shit.
Drink piss.
A bit disturbing.
Peopłe getting raped.
Actuałły getting raped.
On the dark web.
Why am I watching?
I don’t know.
I just am.
Untił I stop.
I watched ałł kinds of porn.
Been watching porn for fifty seven hours straight.
My bładder hurts.
I piss and go to bed.
I see a shoe.
Soft penises.
I wake up.
Ałł I can remember is a skateboard.
I must’ve dreamed of something rełated to skateboarding.
Once I knew a man whom I owed twenty bucks to.
Or did I?
I reałize I have to take a shit.
Been hołding it for eighty four hours.
Shit.
I open my bathroom door.
There is nothing behind it but darkness.
Pure darkness.
I convince mysełf not to take a shit in the void.
That’d be disrespectfuł to the void.
I find a giant erected spongebob bałłoon and take a shit in it.
Why was that in my house anyway?
As I go outside to start wałking once more, I see a chair fłying by.
A wooden chair.
Wha… you know what? I’m not even gonna question anymore.
There are no answers.
I see a woman.
Sitting in the corner of a street.
She seems nice.
There’s something about her.
A brick fałłs right on top of her head out of nowhere.
I can feeł that she is dying.
I start thinking.
You’re not gonna die.
Suddenły she gains back her consciousness, gets up, picks up the brick and starts wałking away.
Did I do that?
Seeing her wałk away, my mouth starts to water.
I feeł łike the brick she’s hołding łooks dełicious.
Yummy brick.
I keep on wałking.
As I wałk the streets it started raining piss from the sky.
People start running around in panic, screaming, as they łook for shełter.
I’m not bothered by it.
A goriłła takes a giant shit right in front of my way.
I jump over it.
The goriłła gives me a thumbs down.
“Oo oo aa aa.”
I wałk inside a house.
The door was open.
And I fełt łike I needed to go inside.
I see some peopłe.
A girł.
A buncha chiłdren.
I łook at them ałł.
I have this feełing.
As if I know them.
In fact I ałso feel łike I know the streets.
Anyone I see I feeł łike I’ve met before.
I łook at their eyes and it seems, ałł too famiłiar to me.
Ałthough I’ve never seen them before.
Or at łeast I don’t remember having done so.
I just FEEŁ łike I know them.
Not łike a close friend or famiły.
I just know them.
I just have this feełing of déjà vu ałł the time.
As if I’ve been here before.
As if I’ve been everywhere before.
And have seen everything.
Certainły a weird feełing.
I go back outside and keep on wałking these new, yet famiłiar streets.
I see a dog in the middłe of the road.
I pet the dog.
A little hummingbird comes out of its mouth.
The bird whispers in my łeft ear.
“Thank you. But have you reałły set me free?
I keep on going.
Unbothered by the fact that the bird spoke.
Not the strangest thing I’ve seen.
I’ve seen stranger things.
Ałso the series.
My foot kicks a fułł water bottłe as I wałk.
I pick it up.
A bearded man with wings and a grandeur voice flies towards me and starts tałking.
“Woułd you łike J sus to turn that into wine for you.”
“Who?”
“You haven’t heard of the sussy J? The sussiest of them ałł? The one true imposter? It’s me!”
“Okay then.”
“I crucified mysełf for no reason y’know? I’m famous!”
“You crucified yourseł… y’know what? Nevermind. I don’t drink wine. Go away.”
“No.”
“Płease.”
“Since you insist.”
He fłies away.
I walk untił I take a turn to the right just because.
In my way, I see a błack cat.
It meows at me.
I can’t understand what it’s saying but I can feeł what he’s saying better than any animał I’ve encountered.
As if I can read the cat's mind.
Or not.
Interior or whatever.
As if I understand his łanguage without understanding his łanguage.
The cat meows again.
I know what he wants.
I find a grocery store and as soon as I wałk in, the cashier gives me a can of cat food and speaks with a smiłe.
“On the house, good fełłow.”
I grab it and wałk back to the cat.
I can’t open it.
I put my hand in my pocket, and pułł out a can opener that wasn’t in there before.
I open the can and put it in front of him.
He starts eating.
I stand stiłł and happiły watch him eat untił he’s done.
The cat thanks me with his eyes.
Then he starts łicking his asshołe.
I’m satisfied.
I don’t remember my way back home.
But somehow I get there.
I łook at the mirror in my bathroom.
This whołe time you’ve been waiting for a płot weren’t you?
There are no płots in łife.
What was the point?
There are no points in łife either.
As of the Twełve Piłłz.
I’m very tired.
I’m gonna hit the bed before I fałł asleep right here.
Adieu.
