"Home. The Cloaked"
“MOVE FASTER, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING GIRL!“, shrieked Mrs. Doberman, startling the children playing nearby. Shooting a fake smile towards the little ones, Mrs. Doberman turned back to the matter she had to handle now.
She was having a very bad day. Her husband refused to buy her a new dress. Instead he put the money to get those fickle wicked children some new books. How dare he do this!? He literally didn’t care how she looked in the party that night. She will get the dress one way or the other. Till then..
“Ophelia, I don’t have the whole day! Quickly gather the hay and get that ass in the kitchen! Unlike you, I am very busy.”
Busy? My foot. Look at what you’re doing, you overfed woman. Sitting in the shade, looking through the paintings of men. How does Mr. Fred put up with you? Sighed Ophelia. Of course, she didn’t say it out loud. She didn’t want to die, now that she had found another reason to live.
She picked her pace and dumping the hay in a pile, rushed to the kitchen.
Oh, she didn’t cook. She was never allowed to do so. Why? Because she was dirtiest of all the orphans there. She had had blood on her hands.
Grabbing all the garbage and remains that smelled like hell, she began to take them out one-by-one.
As the last bag was dumped and the hands were cleaned, a little mass thumped against her leg.
“Lia! Lia! Lia! Foun ju! Hehehehe”, giggled and laughed a little boy.
Ophelia bent down, picked the boy and twirled him around.
“Oh no! You found me! Now I have to eat you! Hwahahahahaha!“, laughed Lia. This was the only reason she lived. For her little Wren.
She put him down, got on her knees and embraced him, “I love you Wren. I love you soooo much!”
“Lia, I love ju too”
Ju too? laughed Wren’s Lia.
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Ophelia was returning from Macbeth’s bookshop. Why am I always stuck with this? In her bag were about a dozen new collections of paintings for the Doberlady. On the parchment, were men and women painted awfully close and barely dressed. Ugh!
After the post-lunch cleaning, Mrs. Doberman went on mission I-have-to-dress-up-the-best-to-make-Mrs.Hiddleson-jealous-and-catch-Mr.Jaegar’s-eye.
With this she gave an errand to Hinata, an excessively beautiful and arrogant girl, who was around the same age as Ophelia. Why can’t I speak up to her? Ophelia often cursed herself for this.
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“Heyyy frump! What you doin’?”
“I-”
“Don’t bother, cause I don’t care. Well Mrs. Doberman has give the errand again. So off you go.”
“But-”
“Don’t you dare ‘but’ me! You scum! Or I’m calling Azul again.”
“Please listen, toda-”
“AZUL! Come here quick!”
Ophelia saw the dark boy rush towards them. She knew she had no choice. Standing up, she began to run away.
“Azul! Th-th-that BITCH! She called my parents hoes and me illegitimate! A-ag-again!“, sobbed Hinata with very convincing crocodile tears.
Azul took off his shoe and threw it towards Ophelia. The shoe arched beautifully and then-
“BAM! That’s a headshot! Don’t cry now, dear.”
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Ophelia touched the back of her head unconsciously, remembering the hit by the shoe.
Well, it had an advantage. She was able to get a little something for Wren; she had been sewing a small hood for him and just bought a patch in the shape of a wren (the bird). Oh! He will be happy!
It became quite dark as she neared the orphanage. There was no wind blowing. The lanterns on the way seemed to have run out. The only source of light was the tiny lantern she carried. Suddenly she heard rustling of leaves and a loud thump.
She stopped in her tracks. Fear mounted up as she looked at a bloody body in the middle of the path, barely visible by her small source of light. She recognized the golden hair. No. God No. Please no.
It was-
“Hinata?!”
“OPHELIA! Oph-ophel-lia”
Ophelia rushed towards her, got on her knees and held her body.
“Wh-What happened? How are you here? H-How did this happen?”
“H-Ho-home. The-the cloa-cloak-”
She stopped right there never to speak again.
Ophelia gasped and the body fell to the ground. She scurried back on all fours.
No. No. Wh-wh-What is this? She isn’t dead. No. “Noooo!”
Horrified, she looked at her hands. Blood. She was covered in blood. The pale blue of her dress had turned scarlet. She had blood on her hands. Again.
Abruptly, the realization of what Hinata said dawned on her.
“Home. The Cloaked”, she muttered as the panic made her breathless.
Wren.
While the story tends to jump forward without warning, it's not so much that I could not follow what was going on. I'm worried for poor Wren and hope the boy will make it through, but I'm a cynical reader and hope my suspicions are wrong. As for the actual writing style, I think it's important to remember that descriptions of the world around a person help the reader to place themselves in the scene. The action and dialogue were great, I just wanted to see more of their surroundings. It seems like poor Lia is in a tough spot and treated poorly. I wonder what the next chapter will hold.
it was really intense! I hope if folds out nice for Wren. I have a feeling of vague manga vibes but that’s because I’m a manga anime lover myself… Hinata is a name no stranger to me.