What is your opinion?
Admirable
"Hi DMWiltshire, I took a look at your story (again, because it was in my reading lists, but honestly I forgot what the story was about and don't remember the storyline) and I'm going to tell you what I enjoyed about your story first. You have a very interesting hook. I like how you gave concern to the reader in the very first sentence of your story. It makes us want to know why this particular character was screaming in pain. This is one part that decides if a random audience wants to pick this book up. I also like the fact how you wasted no time to introduce the problem. However, it can be like a double edged sword. Some readers prefer to have just a little more time to understand their platter of food before they start to taste the main course. Your descriptions of how your characters look is good, but can be improved on. Thin pepper hair is a very interesting description, but is vague, unless you literally mean that the character's hair is the color of pepper which hold a variety of colors. Try not to be vague in some of your descriptions although much of your descriptions uses very colorful and powerful words. I also like your descriptions of how your characters interact with others or objects. However, some sentences could use enhancing, if you read your sentences out loud when you paint the scene, you might notice that you either need to remove a word or add a word so your audience gets a more clear picture. Such as, Caldor didn't want to give up. Give up what? Some readers jump to conclusions while some may not. Just watch out for those kinds of sentences. However, for the most part, I don't believe it is necessary, but when you have the time, please go have a look. Examples are, the test, as in the description of the prince's health. Some people may not know what it implies. Speaking of which, sometimes you need simple words to make your story more clear. Please note that I have only read the first chapter so far and from just the first chapter, I can determine how your entire story will look and of course, I'm going to finish this story as soon as I can. This is basically a habit of avid readers. If you honestly take a look at even the first few sentences, you will know if a story will turn out good, and this story is no exception. Now to address one of the more disappointing factors of your story, the blurb. The blurb is very much valid except that your first sentence could be much more effective. This is sort of the other thing that readers look for to determine if they want to read your story or not. You do have a decent first sentence, but it isn't exactly appealing to my own personal preference. Of course, for this, please do ask for the opinion of others but I believe your first sentence could be much improved in the blurb. The world of Gaitan is used to conflict. So what? Readers are not sympathetic when it comes to finding a story and only want to fish for the good fish. So, if you strengthened your blurb, this will help you attract a bigger audience. Of course, this matter is separate yet connected to the story itself so you need to make them work together. Also, avoid asking questions. This is something irritating to your readers unless you answer them, but still keep it to a minimum because it goes against the good quality in your writing. And with enough of them, it becomes a philosophical lesson, or quiz which is usually never seen in the books that are sold out in the public. Questions lead to vagueness and this causes the story to be blurry. But this issue isn't too major, but just look over them to possibly enhance your story. These are honestly the only things I can pick out from your story. Everything you wrote is absolutely valid and descriptive, but the question is is it clear and strong at the same time. For the most part, you have them both, but sometimes, you either have a clear sentence that can be potentially strong, and a strong sentence that can potentially be clear. These sentences are up to your own judgement because I do not understand the exact context you are looking for. Looking forward to the rest of your story. :)"
A Rare Find
"From the moment I started reading it I had to finish it! This is something I would buy straight off the shelve of any book store, and it's better than half the books I already have on mine! (and I have near if not more than 300 books - not counting my mothers library now) I loved every sentence and every character; and every word had me drawn to this new world! Need I say more? Only that I hope more readers take the chance to follow this epic tale of "Prophesy Six" and where it leads Liora and all those around her! (Not going to spoil it for anyone)"
I’d recommend it to anyone who likes true fantasy, or is looking for a change from dystopian futures.
"Child of the Light is the first book by indie author D.M. Wiltshire. Falling squarely into the fantasy genre, Child of the Light is set in a well-realized world, Gaitan, where north and south have been at war for generations. Cael, the prince of the north, is suffering from an agonizing illness that is beyond the knowledge of the Master Healer, Caldor. The answer may lie in the medical knowledge of the province of Morza, but in one searing moment on the night of the 200 Year Moon, Morza – and all her people – are destroyed by a flash of light: a judgment from the gods, or a celebration gone horribly wrong? When Caldor and his friend Foe go to investigate, they find two things: the healer Naygu’s book, hidden, safe, and written in a language Caldor can’t read, and the footsteps of a child, leaving the devastated city. Could this only survivor hold the key to the book and the healing of Cael? Child of the Light is competently plotted and written. The author has woven together familiar constructs from fantasy, but in a way that presents them, not as stereotypes, but as valid and necessary aspects of Gaitan. None of the fantasy aspects felt imposed: there are dragons, not because a fantasy series needs dragons, but because they are simply part of Morza’s culture. The pace is slower than many current fantasy books, but as a reviewer I prefer this to rushed and incompletely realized stories where action takes precedence over character development and world-building. I was still left with many questions about Gaitan and its history and culture, but not in a frustrating way: I am confident these questions will be answered in future volumes. The main characters, Caldor and Foe, and the child Liora, are well-rounded, characters who develop over the story. This is the first of a planned series, and so while most conflicts and challenges specific to the central characters are brought to a conclusion, other threads of the story are not, and the book ends with a tantalizing hint of future developments. Niggles? Not many. There are the occasional awkward (to me) sentence or paragraph transition, and a couple of times I thought chapter structures, in terms of how the action developed in that chapter, had some misplaced scenes. A production error in the paperback version I read had one chapter single-spaced where the rest are more widely spaced. Fairly minor issues that didn’t detract from the overall story. I’m giving Child of the Light four stars. I’d recommend it to anyone who likes true fantasy, or is looking for a change from dystopian futures. The sequel, Children of Sirphan, is in process, and I look forward to following the series."
