one
‘This is stupid.’ Nadine says to herself as she pulls off the driveway of her parent’s house.
She was happy that her older sister was getting married, but maybe it would have been okay for her to be absent.
Selfish but Nadine had the fear of opening Pandora’s box and releasing all the evil in her world. Still, she needed to man up and put on a brave face while she parked in the driveway, stepping out of her rented car.
This will be therapeutic, she said. This will be good for your soul, she said. Rebuilding bridges is necessary for a good life, she said. All the words her aunt Vivian had said. It was easy for her to say when she was on the other side of the world, enjoying her best life with her husband of twenty years while Nadine had to face the pits of hell.
She scans the area first, feeling a tiny bit frazzled as she realized she was home. Funny or not, there was that nostalgic feeling of seeing the old houses of her street for the first time in eight years. This must be how people felt in videos of soldiers coming home she often watched late at night.
A feeling mixed with sweat on her pits, the tingling sensation on her feet, and the weird worm in her stomach. She had the urge to scream and vomit simultaneously, if that actually made sense, Nadine was oblivious.
She reaches for her phone and reread the texts from Kat, her sister.
‘Mom and Dad will be gone until the cookout tonight. Let yourself in and get yourself comfortable and I’ll be home before lunch. xxx’
That just made a lot of things easier for her. After a horrific three-hour plane ride from New York to Texas, seeing her parents was the last thing she wanted to do.
With a step, she ventured to the porch like a caveman, vigilantly scoping the area for a surprise. For a moment, she feared that she had gone mad and started to look like a lady on sugar, so afraid of something even if she didn’t need to be.
She stands on the wooden steps, remembering how many times she had already fallen face-first from it. The tiny scar on her forehead was proof of it. She smiles as she reaches under the doormat in front of the door. There was a hidden compartment beneath it that holds the house’s spare key and to open it required a seven-digit pin code.
“Let’s see,” she scrunches her lips while trying to rack her brain. “One, two, one three, one, nine, nine, five.”
The sound of the compartment’s lock clicking open made her grin and simply retrieved the key, unlocking the door.
“Nadine?” A voice behind her chimed.
She jolts, immediately turning behind her to face the woman that called out her name. Her eyes dawned upon a thin, elderly woman dressed in a neat yellow sundress. The woman’s visible shock was palpable. Nadine grimaced.
“Mrs. Clark, hi.” She feigned a smile, clasping her hands behind her back.
The woman ran towards her, skipping a step on the stairs, and excitedly hugs her like a child seeing a new, expensive toy for the first time.
“Oh my god!” The woman screams in her ears while shaking her. “You’re home, you’re home! We’ve missed you so much, child. My son, Henry will be happy to see you again.”
Her eyes widened, suddenly a prickle in her heart appeared out of nowhere after hearing that name.
She removes herself from the woman’s grasps.
“Mrs. Clark, if the news of me back home spreads all over town, I probably will leave immediately and I’m never going to go back here again. Please don’t tell anyone that I’m here... yet. I’ll only be here for three or four weeks and I want my stay to be as peaceful as possible.”
Nadine felt like a sack of human garbage after she witnessed the woman’s smiling, happy face turned sour. But she was strong enough to stand her ground and not be bullied.
Maybe Mrs. Clark was only trying to spark a familiar conversation but Nadine was terrified of that, unready.
The woman quiet downs and sighed.
“I understand,” she says. “But we should catch up.”
Catching up was entirely the last thing she wanted to do. But the hopefulness of the woman’s tone made her nod and smile, hoping that she would get the cue of not really wanting to go.
She shrugs her shoulders and cocks her head to the side, turning on her heels and waving her goodbye before continuing down the block.
‘Sweet baby carrots and peas.’ She says to herself, wanting to bash herself in the head.
Great, not even five minutes in and she was already discovered. But in hindsight, she was trying to hide at all. Not with her attire no. She was flashy or a tad bit overdressed. She didn’t know. But what she did know was she felt comfortable in her threads. A peach-colored blouse, a pair of white high-waist jeans, and three-inch white stiletto shoes.
It was the type of clothing that she would only dream to wear but now she was confident in it.
Nadine brushed her encounter with Mrs. Clark on the side of her mind and attempted to forget about it. But that was hard when the first thing she saw after entering through the door was a photo of everyone from her past, huddled into one family picture.
She groans.
The thought of being evil crossed her. Does forgetting your past make you evil or does it make you a traitor? The happiness of the past as well as the cruelness of it was a part of her. To wipe it meant a lot of stupid things.
She closes the door behind her, perturbed at how quiet the house was.
“Ah, God. Did I die?” She asks out loud, wearing a disgusted look on her face.
In the hallway, there were numerous photos of her and her sister. Baby pictures to be exact. The creme of the crop was a photo of her in the bathtub with two other babies. There were also photos of her in elementary, her first picture day, and junior prom. The days where she still wore her braces and pimples were carpeting her forehead.
But what set her the most was a photo of her in a toga draped with a golden stole and her aunt by her side. She remembered that happy day and how proud her aunt was.
Nadine ventures to the living room, getting bombarded by that weird, kind feeling again. The room’s interior hadn’t been moved. Same couch, same coffee table, same drapes.
It seemed like everything remained as they were before she left. It surprised her as her mother had the knack of redecorating. She made it her point to change up the place on an annual basis. It was her mother and her thing to keep up with the latest colorful trend.
She shocked herself why and how she could have been this calm at the very thought of meeting her parents once again. Numb wasn’t the word but it was pretty close to that. Maybe all she was searching for was indifference. The feeling of not caring.
‘You know, you should make that peach. That way the upholstery won’t end up looking like a homemade faux pas.’ Were her mother’s exact words.
Nadine wanted to be like that. So confident with her choices that she wouldn’t need to keep second-guessing herself. Though that would probably make her look and sound like a douche, which exactly was her mom.
She walks to the kitchen, happily grinning once she spotted the plate of cookies in a glass cooler. Kat must have made some for her before she left to buy lunch. She lifted the lid and took two cookies, taking her time to finish them.
“Excuse me?” A stranger’s voice chimed behind her.
But somehow, this wasn’t someone she remembered. She recoiled and moved away from the man instinctively. Her cheeks flushed, her eyes widened while she looked at him. She must have looked like a deer caught in the headlights or a possible cookie fiend.
The man, or more like the tall, tower of muscle peered down on her with confusion marrying his grassy green eyes. Though he was somewhat fazed, Nadine took a second to watch the small smile creeping on his face. It was a charming grin, how his dimple appeared only made the expression on his face look more adorable.
He found her fright amusing. Who wouldn’t be scared when a stranger barges into your home? Once she realized this, she clears her throat, keeping a clear distance between him and her.
“Who are you?” She blurted louder than she wanted to.
A wave of shame washes over his face, his ears become red as tomatoes.
“Ah, right. Um, my name is Finn. You probably didn’t know about me but, I’m Sara’s older half-brother.”
‘Oh.’ She thought. Now she had a face to put on the name. She hid her discomfort, not wanting to give away anything.
“Uncle Richard’s son from California. Nice to meet you but what are you doing in my parents’ house?”
The first time she had ever heard about him was years ago. His existence was a thorough surprise, one that rocked his father’s life to the point of almost divorcing his current wife on the grounds of infidelity. Turns out, Finn was supposedly gotten rid of from the womb, only for his mother to lie and keep him away from his father.
“I paid Katherine to bake cookies for my niece. She said I should just come in and take them but I wasn’t expecting you to be home today. If I scared you, I’m sorry.”
Paid cookies? Nadine gulps loudly. She was bombarded with guilt and every ounce of strength on her knees dissipated. Her eyes shift back and forth from the platter of baked goods and his face.
“Oh.. oh? Oh! Are these it? I’m so stupid and I’m so sorry.” She bit the inside of her cheeks.
The flaming pang of embarrassment continue to burn her while she stood there, watching him chuckle. For a second, Nadine stared at him completely taken aback by how deep his voice was.
“No, please. Don’t worry. There’s still quite enough. I’ll just… tell her that I got hungry during my five minutes walk back home.” He says.
She grimaced and pulled on her purse.
“Here, let me pay you back.” Panicking as she rummaged through her wallet.
“It’s fine, Nadine. Really, it is.”
She froze. How could he say her name easily with so much confidence? Even his utterance was impeccably attractive. His looks were merely an add-on to his already suave, melodic voice.
He moves closer to her, the beat in her chest begins to pace faster. She brings her gaze away from his eyes. But where else was she to look when his body was blocking her vision? She marveled at the imprint his pectorals had on his tight-fitting crew neck shirt. Her attraction for well-built bodies was always trouble. But all her past relationships ended amicably, except her first one though.
But standing this close to him, Nadine surmised her rapid affinity was nothing but sexual attraction.
Nothing more, nothing less.
And what was in front of her was not what she wanted.
The privilege that came with having awe-inducing looks was unfair but so is life.
“Do you mind?” He asks. Nadine raised her brows in confusion. “You’re kinda in the way.”
She scoots to the side as he lifts the tray of cookies. She gawks at him, just suddenly so enamored by his presence. But to save herself, Nadine chalked it up from being in blue-ball island for far too long. It has been a year since she had any action with her lady bits, right after her last boyfriend left her to study in Europe.
“Am I going to see you in the cookout later tonight?” He says.
Nadine wakes herself from her trance and nodded.
“Yes actually. Will Sara and Marcos be there?”
“Yup, the whole family. Marcos’ mom and pop will also be there too. They’re good people, you know? Apparently, your parents, Sara’s, and Marcos’ are all friends from high school.”
She gulps.
“They’re inseparable. They’re like my extra moms and dads.”
He nodded. “I feel the same way about them too. Anyways, it was nice talking to you. I really hope we get to talk more later. Nice to finally meet you, Nadine.”
She smiled.
“You too, Finn.”
He turns on his heels, his broad shoulders facing her and the next thing she knew, he was out of the house.
Nadine began to unravel as she stood in place. It was no longer Finn she was talking about. In just a few hours she was going to be forced on confronting a thing from the past.
