Love and Revenge

I ran.

I didn’t care who was in my way; I pushed them all to the side as I raced to catch his flight. As I rushed past food stands and terminals people stared, but they never meant anything. Only he meant anything to me. The pounding of my feet matched the painful drumming of my heart and my doubts began to creep in, saying, You’re too late. He’s gone. You should give up now, before you’re disappointed. I shook these thoughts as I finally made it into terminal 3 and sighed with relief when I saw that his flight had been delayed. I grinned as I saw him standing with his back to me, facing out the window. I rushed up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder and as he turned around I saw that he had no face.

I gasped as I sat up in my bed, with tears streaming from my eyes uncontrollably. I slowly layed back down, rolling onto my side. One glance at the clock told me it was way too early to get up, so I sat there staring at the fluorescent green numbers.

I’d had the same dream for months, ever since I started my first semester at the college of New Rochelle. I was working on my bachelor’s degree in nursing, and for whatever reason something about where I was or what I was doing was causing those dreams to keep coming back. In the dream, the place and situation changed but two things always stayed the same: I always made it on time and he never had a face.

I sighed and got up, knowing sleep wouldn’t come again. Goosebumps flit across my skin as I pulled a sweatshirt over my ratty pajamas. The winter months in New York got pretty harsh, and that December was worse than ever. The snow had fallen on the ground in feet at places and ice hid itself underneath it. My apartment, which supposedly had heating, hadn’t felt warm since October.

I wrapped my favorite ratty blue blanket around my shoulders as I went to the kitchen, put a mug of water into the microwave and slammed the microwave door, wincing once I recalled that my roommate Becca was sleeping. Shrugging to myself, I continued to fix my hot chocolate. I sat on the worn-down brown couch in the main room, cupping the warm mug in my hands, sipping occasionally. Looking over at the picture of my mom, my dad, and I on the side table, for the hundredth time I missed home and the way everything had been years ago.

“I’ve always wondered why you always stare at that picture Annalee.” I swear I jumped through the ceiling at the sound of Becca, my roommate. I turned, glaring at her. If my annoyance at the surprise wasn’t enough, the way she looked so model-perfect even in the middle of the night would have done it. She had beautiful auburn hair, straight as a ruler, perfectly tan skin, and bright green eyes. She swept her perfect red hair over her shoulder and glared right back at me. “You know, if you were going to wake me up, the least you could do is make me one too.” She nodded at my hot chocolate.

I suppose that was true enough. “Sorry. Do you want one?”

“No, that’s fine. You can repay me by telling me why you stare at that picture like somebody died.”

I winced. “My mom died when I was 16.”

Becca’s expression morphed into shock, then what I guessed was shame and pity followed. “Oh my goodness, Annalee, I’m so sorry!”

I shrugged it off, though the hurt was still there. “It’s alright. You didn’t know,” I took a deep breath, “I look at this picture all the time because I miss her and the way my life was before I lost her and my dad.”

“You lost your dad too?” She whispered. I’m sure she didn’t know how to react. Most people didn’t.

“Not in the same way. He’s alive, but once she was gone, he changed. He was never home, and even when he was, he acted like I didn’t exist. He’s a police officer, and he threw himself into his job.” I used to think that he was a hero. I thought he was the coolest dad anyone could have, and he was my best friend until my mom died.

“I’m sorry Annalee. But, at least now you have me!” She grinned and squeezed me tightly in a hug. I let out a partly-irritated, partly-amused huff. She was too bubbly for this time in the morning (even though that was one of the qualities I liked most about her). “Well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s far too early to be awake. I’m going back to bed. Try not to wake me again until noon.” She smiled, making her way back to her bedroom.

I stared after her, down the narrow hallway to our bedrooms. That girl was one of the weirdest people I’d ever known. We’d only known each other since August, and yet she was acting like we were best friends. Of course, even though it was strange I didn’t mind. I always had a hard time making friends, especially having moved to a new city.

But, I did have to admit, people seemed to be friendlier here than in Pittsburgh where I came from; I’d made another fast friend since moving here. Will Tucker was by far the funniest person I’d ever met, and to my huge surprise, the moment we met he took an interest in me. I met him at the local sandwich shop when I was hired there, and meeting him was definitely the best thing to happen to me since moving to New Rochelle.

Suddenly there was a noise at the frost-covered window. I stared at it, fear making my heart pound, hoping I was imagining things. It was too dark to see out clearly, so I listened intently. A scream tore out of my throat when I saw the window lifting up, and I stood, spilling some hot chocolate all over myself. The instinct to run gripped my muscles until a passing car’s headlights shone on the intruder’s face and dispelled my fear. I held a hand over my heart, willing it to calm, as I glared at the unwelcome person climbing in my apartment.

“Jeez Annie, what would you have done if I was a real intruder?”

If it was possible, my glare intensified. I crossed my arms across my chest in irritation and defensiveness of Will’s annoying question.

“Don’t call me Annie! Will, for someone who seems concerned with my well being, you were sure trying to give me a heart attack.” I accused, seething a little as I finally recognized my skin burning under my shirt from the spilled drink.

He walked in his long strides to the lamp on the side table, turning it on. He was grinning, unrepentant. “I’d say sorry, but I’m not. Hearing you screech was too fun. And you know Annie is my cute little nickname for you. I’d never give it up.”

I ignored him, knowing arguing with him about that stupid nickname was moot. I hated it, which of course just meant he’d taken to it immediately. I ran to my room to put on a different shirt now that mine was ruined. Once I was cleaned up and cooled off, I returned to see him with his thick coat off, cuddling on my couch under my favorite blanket. He glanced up to me, brown eyes twinkling in the dim light of the lamp, dimples showing on his cheeks as he smiled playfully.

I rolled my eyes, knowing that kicking him out was a lost cause at this point. I motioned to the window. “Why didn’t you come through the door like everyone else?”

“Do I look like everyone else?” He raised an eyebrow and motioned to himself in a can’t help how good-looking I am kind of way.

“No, I guess not,” I sighed, “you look much colder than everyone else. Probably because they use the door.”

I laughed at his unamused expression, even as he stuck out his tongue at me. I moved to the unoccupied section of the couch and plopped myself down next to him, grabbing some of my blanket to cover myself with.

He grabbed my half-empty hot chocolate and took a sip, grimacing.

“Why are you here at...” I quickly glanced at the time flashing on the oven,“...six in the morning again?” I asked curiously. It wasn’t unlike him to visit, but to do so at this time was really strange.

“I was heading back to my apartment from the gym and decided it was too far to walk in this temperature. So I decided to crash in your place.” He answered nonchalantly, taking yet another sip of my drink and making a disgusted face. “Why do you even use that powdered crap? It’s so much better made from real chocolate.” He turned his judging face on me.

“First of all, I don’t know how you have the motivation to go to the gym every morning this early, but not to walk home afterward. Second of all, seeing as it’s my drink, I made it how I like it. If it bothers you, why don’t you make your own?” I asked, a smile peeking on the edges of my mouth.

Immediately his mouth flew open, clearly offended. He gestured to himself with the hand not holding my hot chocolate as if to say ′Me? Make my own anything? How could you suggest such a thing?′. He looked like that for a minute before he finally glared at me, handed me my hot drink, and stood, going to make his own. I chuckled quietly as he raided my pantry for the stash of milk chocolate I kept there.

I was secretly pleased he felt so comfortable around me that he treated my place like his own. He was fun to have around, even with the scare he gave me earlier. And, of course, it didn’t hurt that he was extremely handsome.

I watched him as he turned on the kitchen light and started concocting his own “special” hot chocolate at the stove. He was tall, probably 6′6" with a lean, muscled build. His sun-kissed skin was smooth and complemented his warm brown eyes and short brown hair. His arms flexed every so often as he stirred and I found myself staring at his strong-looking biceps.

Shaking my head to clear it of those strange thoughts, a thought occurred to me. “What would you have done if the window was locked?” I asked, trying to keep my voice down for Becca’s sake. Of course, if she hadn’t come looking to make sure I wasn’t dead after I screamed, maybe I shouldn’t care so much.

He turned his head my direction. “Maybe walked home, if I could summon the effort. Probably would have just frozen on your doorstep.” He smirked and winked at me playfully. I rolled my eyes, exaggerating just for him, before grabbing my open laptop off the coffee table.

I started it back up and grabbed my now mostly-cold hot chocolate and took a sip. After a second the little tune played that said it was waking up and I got on the internet. I still had a paper to finish that was due the next day, and I had a few hours before I needed to get ready for class.

I grabbed my stupid reading glasses from the table and put them on to read the online articles. I looked up as Will sat down again next to me, this time with hot chocolate of his own. I only realized my mistake after it was too late.

“What are those?” Will asked, as I grabbed them roughly from my face. I had managed to keep them secret from him so far.

“Nothing. I don’t know what you’re talking about!” I replied, overdoing it. I’ve always been a really bad liar.

“Give them to me,” he said, holding his hand out. I shook my head stubbornly and he added, “Please?”

After a moment I couldn’t stand to look at his curious brown eyes anymore so I gave in. He took them and looked through them. His eyebrows raised as he realized what they were, and I braced myself for the inevitable.

“Reading glasses? Since when did you need these?” He asked, tilting his head slightly at me. I simply didn’t respond, hoping he would drop it. Of course, he didn’t. He gently put them on me and looked at me thoughtfully for a minute. “They look really good on you. Why don’t you ever use them when I’m around?”

I tore them off quickly. I was completely surprised by his reaction. I had needed them all my life, but I hadn’t told anyone if I could help it because when I was younger I’d been made fun of about them all the time. It might seem like something stupid to be upset about but the cruelty followed me. I’d come to believe they were ugly or made me seem stupid or something.

“What? Did I say something rude?” He asked, confused by my silence.

“No, no! Nothing like that. I’m just surprised that you think that. I’ve needed them ever since I was little. I don’t let anyone see them because people made fun of me when I wore them. I thought you’d do the same.” I half-shrugged.

“Wait, you thought I would make fun of you? When have I ever done that non-teasingly?” He asked, totally focused on me now.

“Well, never. I just assumed--”

“That I would be the first to hurt you? Of course not! Annie, I would never, and I mean never hurt you.”

I simply sat there, thinking about that. He was completely serious. I had never actually thought he would want to hurt me, I guess I just thought he would act like everyone else. I smiled, glad to be wrong. He smiled back, then grabbed my reading glasses, put them gently back on my nose and put his arm around my shoulder. I rested my head against his shoulder and we sat like that for a long time. I had a feeling that day would be a good day.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.