LIFE BEGINS AT 40

ERINE

This is about me. It has been seven months, work as a Production Worker in Diaz Foods Inc. Newly declared as one of their regular employees that I was very grateful for I did my job well.

We were immigrant and my mother file for petition for me together with my son. I was new in this town since I came from other country.

Everything in life now was always something new for me. Yeah, I just move in to my mother's place with my son who is still in high school. We decided to have a fresh new start since my mother was only one living alone in her house.

My life was not easy being a single mother who raised a son since birth. His father was my first love, first kiss and first in everything. It was not easy at first since we were not teenager at that time when we first met introduced by a common friend.

I worked as a contract worker in a foreign land when I was in my 20's. It was my first time away from my country and family. Although, at that time I just wanted to be independent and have self-confident.

It was not easy working alone without your family and friends. But the good points you gain new friends. It may not be always true to your face but still you will find some true friends when you go back to your own country.

Struggles were not that easy adjusting things, people and languages. However, those years I had to learn to adapt everything. It was lonely at first but later on having friends to encourage you.

You will learn to survive your everyday routine until I met him. Yes, when I met the father of my son. It was kind of not totally into him but I think looking back. I was just a little naïve because I wanted to experience having someone or I was just I do not know what I was feeling at that time.

However, I did love him. If I do not love him, how can I give my V card to that person and have his child? Our relationship was not somewhat deep. We had the right love at the wrong time kind of thing. I am thankful that I have a bundle of joy with me, my son.

It was five years ago that his father stops sending money support and even emotional attachment to our son. I wished I could demand for my son's financial support. But I guess I am just too kind to let it go. I wanted to demand but thinking that I know he is now having his own family. Starting a new leaf and I let it be.

I have my own pride not to beg. If he is not willing to be a part of my son's life. He will find time to reach him. However, he did not. We were lucky enough that my parents were the one supporting some of our needs.

I know my son has a good heart. He knows to understand the situation we had with his father. Deep in my heart, I know being his mother I can feel him. I can feel he was hurting but refused to tell me even if I talk to him. He changed quite a little bit after the break up. He changed but I know he should move on.

I move on after the final separation because in the end we cannot go back to what we used to be. It was not easy for me too. I should face the reality that our relationship was already history. I should put it period not question mark or exclamation point or comma but definitely a period.

It would not turn back the time but move forward to my future and focus my present. Why? Because it is not just me now, there is my son involve who needs love and attention no matter what. He is my love, my life and everything. My son is important to me than anything else.

"Erine, do you want to extend your hours tonight?" My supervisor asked me.

"Well, I love too." I replied with big smile on my face. It was just two hours and I do not have anything to do at home. My son is busy with school. I need money. Opportunity like this need to grab. I am not getting any younger.

"Okay, very good! You know what to do then." She said smiling.

"Yes, thank you very much." I said with smile. Going to my locker to get my handy phone.

I need to inform my son that I would go home a little late.

Me: Son, I am going to extend my hours here in the factory. Do not wait for me. Just eat your supper. Love you!

Nothing very long, I received a reply from him.

D: Okay, Mom. Take care and love you more!

I smiled. He is my inspiration to strive harder. This is not all for me but for him too. I returned my phone inside my locker. We have fifteen minutes break.

I need to find another job for the weekend. Now that I passed my apprentice and regular status. It is easier for me to do another job. I do not want to be idle at home.

Like I said, I want to save more and then enjoy life when I retire one day. That's my plan to achieve it like I am still be able to work. That I am still strong and healthy.

Of course, I do not want to depend on my son when I get older. It is better to help him than help me financially. One day, he will have his own family. Have his own children and wife. Expenses now a days were very expensive already.

So, work, work, work and save, save, save. But never forget to enjoy the hard work you earn too.