Good Effort

"The narrative was rambling, and I soon got bored with the repetitive descriptions of the boy's nightly terror. There was a lot of potential, as being unable to sleep at night is something everyone is always scared of, but it wasn't executed very well. Worse still was the colloquial language and the awful punctuation. A little part of me died when I read "I lived with my mommy and daddy in 1962 and my older sister Cheryl" and "Relief in a small thankful douse". But there were a lot of good things about the story as well. I loved the friendship between Scotty and James. James seemed to believe Scotty from the get go and ultimately it was James who saved Scotty's life. The subtlety with which Scotty's attachment to his father and estrangement from his mother were tackled was impressive. And of course, the last line was brilliant. A beautiful way to honour James' memory, and to summarize Scotty's past terror. Scotty represented to me the typical American boy, with his desire to please his parents, and his courage in facing his fears. The imagery and use of language devices to effectively convey Scotty's feelings was commendable. A good effort indeed."