What is your opinion?
Great pacing
"I was pulled into the story and I felt the author set up the story and pacing really well. I also like that the mysterious entity is never seen or described because it leaves a lot of imagination in the story and a lot of mystery."
Fast Forward!
"A terrific example of how flash fiction is supposed to be. The use of commas, short sentences and brusqueness of narration all helped to create the desired effect. It was expertly written, and I really enjoyed reading it. One spelling mistake I'll point out is "Had't". The plot was a little weak. There was a lot of mystery, and Mrs Kelly seemed very reluctant to shed light on the matter. It made me wonder what could scare a mother so much that she wouldn't report her child missing. What clandestine activities are being carried out in the houses of the "good neighbours"? I hope the next few chapters will cast some light on this. The attack on Sarah was superbly described. It was scary, and fast-paced. It seemed like Sarah will suffer the price for her probing into the matter. Another thing which stuck out was Mrs Kelly's husband. Her fierce defence of him was the only time she was actually really being emotive, which suggests that perhaps her husband is precisely what sagacious Sarah suspects. I really hope to read more of your story!"
Solid bit of Flash Fiction
"It was a quick and interesting read. It liked how open it is to interpretation, but that also left me wondering what the link was between children going missing and an adult being attacked at the end. We're those responsible (faeries?) worried about someone getting to close to their trail? Or had the investigator specifically targeted. Either way, the story gives us a lot of unanswered questions, which can be good or bad depending on the intent of the author. Overall, I enjoyed it."
Rhythm & Pace
"You used commas and short sentences to great rhythmic effect here: I got an almost screenplay-like feel reading it, as though everything was stage direction, which made it really easy to fall into. It also served the plot really well: how mysterious the situation was, how closed off Mrs. Kelly is, how the disappearances don't make logical sense. By having the dialogue be very complete and complex, it made the rest of the prose stand out so much more. I really enjoyed reading this, especially the second time: I noticed some little details that I didn't catch the first time through, and I love that in a story. Nicely done!"
