Writer And The Characters

It was a sunny sunda-

Cookie: Writer what are you doing?

Writer: I am setting the scene.

Cookie: You better not make me pregnant again. That sucked balls.

Writer: I wasn’t going to.

Cookie: Did you tell the readers that you were going to kill me off when you were writing My Cats Protect Us From the Wolfs?

Writer: No because I didn’t do it, now did I?

Cookie: No because you know it would have Pissed people off.

Writer: *sighs*

Jason: You should have killed her off. Then I don’t have to keep getting barred.

Cookie: How did you get out of that box?

Emily: Jason where did you get that ham?

Jason: ….

Emily: Jason?!

Jason: *runs off*

Emily: You butt munch that was for dinner! *runs after Jason*

Writer: Can I please write the story now?

Sugar: What is with you and balls?

Writer: *looks at Sugar* What?

Sugar: Is it because you don’t have any?

Writer: What are you talking about?

Sugar: *just looking*

Writer: Okay, I am going to start the story over again.

It wa-

Cleo: What story are you trying to write now?

Writer: I want to write a good story.

Cleo: Well you suck at it.

Writer: I am trying.

Cleo: Try harder.

Writer: *rolls eyes* At least I am not hiding the fact that I was human.

Emily pops out from a door.

Emily: Who’s hiding what now?

Writer: Cleo is hid- *Cleo throws toy mouse at writers head*

Writer: Nothing.

Emily goes back where she popped out from.

It w-

Missy: Meow Meow.

Writer: Missy everyone knows you can talk.

Missy: That’s not the point and you know it. *squints eyes at writer*

Writer: Can I please write this story?

No one said a word.

It was a –

Dexter burst through the door. Breaking it.

Emily: That is the tenth door this week!

Dexter: *scared face*

Emily: I am going to eat you Dexter!

Jason runs in with half a ham

Jason: Emily you are only allowed to eat me and that’s it!

Emily: Jason he broke the door…………again!

Dexter: I will fix it and last time it was your sons that broke it.

Writer: *rubs temples* Can I please write this story.

Everyone is fighting not paying attention to the writer.

Writer: That’s it! If you all do not want to be in a BDSM book then shut up!

Everyone was silent.

It was a sunny Sund-

James: When are you going to write my book? I want to be with my Muffin.

Writer: I will when am done with the one I am writing now.

James: Forget it, I want my Muffin now and that rouge you put me with is stupid.

Writer: Can’t you just wait?

James: I will eat you! I know I do not eat people, but I will eat you if you do not give me my Muffin!

Writer: I will get to it.

Grayson: Are you going to tell the readers that Mia is having our sixth child?

Writer: I will when I get to the next book.

Dolores: But the book you are writing on sucks.

James: Yeah! It sucks worst then a two cent hooker.

Writer: Will you guys just shut up and let me write the story?

Silence

I-

Cookie: You better not let James get Cleo or so help me I will death-roll your ass!

Writer: Cookie you can’t threaten me.

Cookie: I mean it! *glares at writer*

Writer: Cookie these are my books I can do what I want.

Cookie attacks writer to the ground and starts to drag writer to a room. Writer grabs on to the door frame.

Cookie gets Writer into the room. Three hours later the writer limps out of the room covered in scratches and bruises.

Writer: That’s it I am going to tell Emily that when Cleo was a human witch she did put a spell on you an_

Letter box hits Writer in the head. Writer is knock out cold.

Pez: Did I do good Cookie baby?

Cookie: Yes, you did great.

Emily: What happened to the writer?

Both Cookie and Pez gave Emily I don’t know look.

Writer: *Finally wakes up* What time is it?

Jason: *walks over with a whole turkey* It’s seven in the morning.

Writer: I was knocked out for eight hours? Why didn’t anyone help me?

Dexter: We thought you needed the sleep.

Peach: Jason you better run.

Jason: Why?

Peach: Emily knows you took her turkey.

Jason runs for his life.

Emily: Cats kill Jason!

Cookie: It’s about dame time.

The cats crack their necks and chase after Jason.

Jason: I am sorry honey I am very hungry.

Emily: what about the kids? They have to eat too, and you ate a twenty pound, ham by yourself and now you are eating a thirty pound turkey!

Writer: Am done with this.

The End