Chapter 1
It was all white for a while, not blinding but the white of a summer sheet over your eyes when you played “ghost” as a kid.
The lack of color started to hurt. But then after some unit of time – a window appeared, looking out at more nothingness. The white frame of the window stood out amidst the overall whiteness of the canvas.
I did not know this place.
Again, after some unit of time (it was difficult to know), a woman appeared on the other side of the window. She had kind eyes and deep frown lines.
She appeared regularly, leaning into the white window like a person peering through an eyehole. While I just waited on the other side, not sure if I wanted to open the door or make her believe there was no one home.
I was not uncomfortable. This place felt safe and smelled clean – sanitizer and air freshener clean. If only something could be done about the lack of temporality.
Another unit of time must have passed when an old itch came to be.
I was eight years old when during a game of tag, I fell. A small pebble entered the broken skin of my left knee. It took a while to heal and I have a scar –the kind where hair won’t grow.
This old scar started to itch again, and I did not know how to scratch.
The window remained white and unrelenting as I transmogrified into this thirty-year-old itch that just wouldn’t stop.
Then just like that– the window filled with the silhouette of my mother.
I could smell that familiar lemon-zest scent of her skin. Then I could see her hands. Her square fingertips, soft palms with those dark, set creases. Slowly the silhouette became a person and then a face- my mother’s face. Broad forehead, greying hair along the temples, those brown eyes and thin lips - pursed tightly.
Suddenly, she got up and started to leave, walking away from the window – looking more and more like someone leaving a door after they are convinced no one is home.
This body less, knowledge-less me wanted to cry and shout out I am here.
The itch grew stronger and throbbed, almost like an inflammation.
Her leg moved! She might be waking up, the nurse with the kind eyes and frown lines exulted.
