Prologue
Last Night of Summer Camp
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Ex
She was leaving him.
She was leaving him and going to them.
She was leaving him not even a whole day after his parents had left.
It hurt. He felt like he was just one small particle that ached. The only thing that centered him was inflicting pain on others. He didn’t know how to stop wanting to hurt her back.
He almost sought out Liam again, but Liam hadn’t hurt him. Why should he suffer?
No, Elina held half the blame. He would determine who else was responsible after the camp ended.
She, alone, was accountable for her actions. He stormed into her room, demanding a reason. He deserved that much at least. He wanted her to suffer, to shatter. He craved vengeance.
❄
Elina
He was back. She couldn’t see him, but she could feel him fuming behind her back. Earlier, he had been pleading with her. Now he was angry, cold, and calculated. This version of Ex scared her. It meant that he would want to cause her pain. She could handle whatever he dished out, as long as he didn’t try to mess with her mind and uncover the truth.
“It can’t end like this.” His voice was deadly.
“Ex, please let me go.” She couldn’t say more. She couldn’t say anything at all.
“You don’t care about any of us, do you?” His words were cruel.
“I do. I promise you, I do.” She sat up on her knees.
“Your actions clearly don’t show it. We were supposed to stick together, help one another. We have been here for you all this time. I held you in my arms every fucking night, Elina. I convinced you not to kill yourself every time you tried. We made plans together. Were you lying to us? Playing us? Was that a thrill for you? Did you get off on it?”
Each word felt like a punch in the gut. “No, Ex, please. Please don’t think that. I didn’t-.”
“Was I a joke to you? Do you even feel bad for what you made me become? The monster you convinced me to play?”
She wanted to cry. She didn’t know how to tell him, how to express her emotions.
“Get up. We are going for a walk.”
Her heart picked up. He wasn’t stable. He was dangerous. She had hurt someone that caused harm and got pleasure out of it. “No, I’m not going down there with you.” Last time when she had tried to go away, he had promised that he would break her if she attempted anything again. That her life would be his to control or end.
He got awfully close to her. She could feel his hot breath on her face.
“I’m not taking you down there, princess.”
She stood up wearily. He put a sweater on her. Then she heard her charger being ripped out of the wall.
He grabbed her wrist and started pulling her along. They got out. There wasn’t any noise in the corridors or lobby. No nurse to stop him and save her. The chilly summer air wrapped around her exposed legs. She was wearing only a nightgown.
“You two!” The guard yelled.
Ex left her for a moment, then came back. There weren’t any further shouts as he made her keep walking.
“Why did he let you go?” Her breathing was rapidly increasing, rushing towards a panic attack.
“Power, Elina. Something you don’t hold.” But he did.
Ex had the power to do whatever he wanted. He never answered to anyone, just took without apologies.
“Where are we going?” She halted.
“I want to make you scream. You say that receiving pain makes you feel better, and I need you to hurt. I’m helping us both. I just need an isolated space.”
He waited. She kept walking, and he entangled their fingers, his warm hand soothing her. He was her pain and pleasure, her everything. She was leaving him, but she couldn’t tell him why.
He was her butcher, leading her to the chopping block, gently holding and soothing her along the way, with the promise that he would make it quick and painless.
“How will you hurt me?” She whispered.
“The cable from the charger will sting like a whip.”
This was definitely her execution. She wouldn’t put it past him.
“Tell me you don’t want it,” he challenged. “Tell me you don’t deserve it.”
She did deserve it, so she kept quiet.
“Thought so.”
They arrived at the beach. Instead of sand, she felt cold rock under her feet. They were on a cliff, the sea beneath them was as angry as Ex.
He took off her hoodie and pushed her to her knees. She felt the rough, sharp stone cutting into her skin. He lifted her gown, exposing her back.
She wasn’t afraid of the pain that followed; she was afraid of him. He had never whipped her before.
No amount of mental preparation could match what she felt. The slash across her back. She wasn’t done screaming before another one came, then another. She counted to ten. Her back was on fire and possibly bleeding. He crouched behind her and pushed a hand into her panties.
His fingers glided. “And you want to leave me?”
“Ex, I-.”
“You?” He circled her clit. It didn’t take her long to lean on him, gasping and moaning.
He pulled back. “What makes you think I’ll let you come? You haven’t earned it. You don’t even deserve this beating.”
She began to speak, pleading, but he struck again.
“Count.” When she didn’t start, he whipped her harder. “Count.”
She counted, crying and begging in between. He had hurt her before, but never this badly.
He stopped whipping after she stopped counting, broken and folding in on herself.
“Stop manipulating me.” His tone was cold.
“I’m not!” She screamed at him.
“You are crying. It’s a simple and effective way to communicate immediate needs to receive care and attention. It’s supposed to make me feel bad for you, not happening, doll.”
He had to be joking. This wasn’t the time for psychology lessons. He pulled her gown down and yanked her up. They stood like that, him behind her, the cliff in front. She didn’t know which was worse. The wind whipped her hair in every direction.
He was quiet for a while. “Can you feel the air? Can you feel how close you are to the edge? Can you hear the waves crashing into the rocks below?”
She was pulled forward, trying to focus. She stumbled. “Stop it. I will fall.”
He was pressing closer, trapping her. “What if I want you to fall? What if you want to fall?” he spoke softly. His words blended with the wind and her thoughts. It was like they were her own. “It would be nice, wouldn’t it? You will finally experience that peace and quiet you talk about.” She shivered, but he continued. “You won’t survive this fall, princess. I can assure you of that. You can hear the rocks and waves clashing below. It will be quick and painless.”
“You are the one manipulating me now,” she cried, considering it. There would be nothing after him.
“I’m not manipulating you, simply persuading you. Giving you options, telling you which one is the wisest. You trust me, don’t you” He was quiet for a while.
“Ex,” she whispered.
“The only way you’re getting away from me is by dying. I should’ve let you do it sooner. But I thought you loved me back. I thought you cared about me, like I cared for you.”
“I do,” her voice cracked. He had already killed her, broken her.
“So dramatic. You claim that, but you have a funny way of showing it. You never sacrificed anything for me. You are selfish, Elina. You either stay with me or you jump.”
“I can’t stay with you.”
“Then jump. Show me you felt something at any point for me.”
His warmth behind her disappeared. “Ex?”
He didn’t answer. He had left her.
She could almost see the water and the rocks. It was hypnotic and promised peace. She took one step forward and started to fall. He caught her by her gown. Her body weight was forward, and he held her centimeters from the edge. Her life was in his hands.
“One last chance.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
He let go. Elina fell and hit the cold water. She had no choice but to let the current pull her into the dark abyss.
