Oneirophobia

“Hush little baby, if you cry, I will put an end to your life.”

The sound of the gun cocking echoed in my ears.

“If death threats don’t work for you, I just might have to kill her, too.”

I jolted out of my sleep looking here and there around my room. I have been having these nightmares since I was just a kid. My parents didn’t know why and neither did the doctors. They told me that the nightmares would go away, but they couldn’t prove it. Having these nightmares keeps me from getting enough sleep and that isn’t healthy.

I got out of bed and went to take a shower. I have a phobia of dreams or nightmares in this case; oneirophobia is what it is called. I don’t know who I got it from because I can’t remember anything from outside the Ward. I got taken here when I started going crazy and chaos started erupting. I’m not sure if I have parents, but someone sent me here and I was going to get out one way or another.

I made some friends in this place, but they seem to be crazier than me. Yuchén and Yìchén, friends by name. Now that I’m here, we have become like a family; the Trio. All of us here may be crazy, but we have a clear conscience. We know what we want and that is out of this place.

That was me ten years ago, but now I’m out with my family. Not my real family, but Yuchén and Yìchén. I still didn’t have any news about them and no one ever visited me in the Psychiatric Ward. It was like I was alone from birth, that is until I met these two. We’re out and about, yet we still need to keep a low profile. We have been running together for nine years and we may run even more, if we’re careful.

“Ni kàn dào nà zhi go^ule ma?” Yìchén asked.(你看到那条狗了吗-do you see that dog)

“Uhh...no,” I replied.

“What was that?” Ychén laughed.

Yuchén was always the clown and Yìchén was the Poker face of the Trio. I was happy at one moment and serious at another. My brain worked like it was busy whenever I wanted to say something funny. I say it, but I don’t feel like it is funny. They laugh when that happens and it is good.

“That one in the alley.”

“Bùyào wàngjì zhè bùshì wǒmen de lǐngtǔ,” I reminded him.(别忘了这不是我们的领地-don’t forget that isn’t our territory)

“Xiàng qián!” Yuchén exclaimed.(向前-onward)

We ran across the street into the alley. We were getting the dog and when we were about to leave, I saw something else. It was a girl...in the alley of the Shadow Steppers. They are the worst people in the neighborhood, but they aren’t the best in fighting. I walked over and she was still alive, so I picked her up on my back.

Yìchén gave the dog to Yuchén and went behind me to watch my back. He always makes sure we get out of places safely no matter how dangerous it is. You might think that he is terrible at fighting due to his condition, but everyone is afraid of him. The Shadow Steppers aren’t, yet they should be like everyone else. We were back across the street and when we turned around, Yìchén was fighting the steppers.

He has all kinds of skills because we have been practicing all year long. From street fighting to Taekwondo to boxing; we know everything. I placed the girl more comfortably on my back and we walked to the vet. It wasn’t far due to where we were located and that was right down the vet alley. Before we opened the door, Yìchén was walking up behind us with a thumbs up.

I told them that I was going to take her to the hospital, so they went in alone. Now I am Dúzì de; alone. I felt the girl on my back move and then she ankle kicked me...where it hurts. I fell onto my knees, but still kept her from falling off my back. She then bit me and I instantly released her.

“Āiyō!” I cried out, “I’m not your enemy here.”

She didn’t listen. Instead she tried to fight me, but in her condition she didn’t last even a second. I used the Okinawan strike on her and she was back on consciousness. It will take her a good twenty minutes, long enough for me to get to the hospital, to wake up. I made it to there in less than twenty minutes and charged her into the hospital.

I didn’t tell the nurses my name because I don’t have one. I just told them to take care of her and paid them what I had. Even if it was just enough for her to stay for a few hours. I sprinted back to the vet just as Yuchén and Yìchén were walking out. I let them know that I will need to check on her later tomorrow.

We all went back home, which was abandoned by the city. It snowed a lot, so we made a decision to fix up the house a few years back. It took determination and a few minutes of relaxing to get it done. Now it is just like home...besides the one room we all sleep in. It’s big enough for the three of us and it worked out just fine.

A few hours into sleeping and I woke up from another nightmare. I was about to get out of bed, but Yìchén, who was sitting on my bed,stopped me. He gestured to me that he would get some water for me and that I don’t have to get up. It’s like he can read my mind after so many years together. I used to wonder if he liked me because of the way he treated me, but now I see that it’s just brotherly love.

When he returned, he whispered, “I will always be by your side when you sleep. I know about why you got sent to that ward. Your nightmares make you go crazy, sometimes.”

I choked on my water, “I didn’t even realize you knew. I just thought you were lonely.”

He shook his head and I gave him the cup. I laid back down, still afraid to sleep, and looked at the ceiling. Tomorrow is going to be better. I just know it.