What is your opinion?
Spyglass Series, Chapter 1 Review
"Given that it is only the first chapter of the story, I don't have much to say about the plot. It is, however, described in the blurb and it suggests that the rest of the story will be exactly as stated. Admittedly, I'm curious about Mrs Jacobson and the direction she will take the story. The writing style seems relatively simple and I appreciate the descriptions of the surroundings. Since we are reading the story from a teen's point of view I can't be sure if the simplicity is meant to help us get into Ronnie's head or not, but it's not an entirely bad thing. It ensures that readers won't get confused. I think some attention needs to paid to the running sentences and the spelling mistakes but overall there could be a nice story in the making. Hopefully the details will unfold in the coming chapters because I love a good mystery!"
Spyglass series: Daughter of Destiny
"(Beta-Readers Review) It's just the first chapter, so it's a little hard to comment on the plot and whatnot, but I think your blurb covered that quite nicely. In any case, I still think the descriptions you have in there pull people in. That said, you're able to provide an excellent working visual to everything your main character sees, and I think it's definitely the main strength of our writing. However, I think that there is some work that needs to be done in terms of the sentences used for describing. A few of them were run-on, and I think you'll lose a lot of focus for people who are otherwise really interested in gleaning all that information. Sometimes short sentences work; they help put focus on things that would otherwise be lost. The only other misgiving I have is the dialogue structure. Generally speaking, you don't need a new paragraph for ever sentence of dialogue if it's the same person speaking. Your readers might get lost or confused if it's split up otherwise, because it could imply another speaker when that's not what you intended. But overall, I found this was a good start to a book. The main character is likeable and has interesting traits. That, combined with your knack for descriptive writing, is a good step forward for a novel."
