Whisper of Silence--Good Start!
Though it’s only three chapters, I think your book has a lot of promise when it comes to the plot. You have a very unique situation/set-up and later turn of events that really catches our interest right off the bat, so kudos to you on that!
Read the story now
In the Group discussion section, you asked to know where you could improve. Here are a few things I found that are easy fixes to help get your writing (and your book) to the next level:
TENSE CHANGES: There were quite a few instances where I noticed the narrative bouncing back and forth between present and past tense. Largely, it seemed to be written past tense, so make sure you stick with it throughout.
DIALOGUE: It was a little hard to follow the bodyguards searching for her with their dialogue, simply because it was written in narrative format. Make sure any time someone’s saying something aloud, it’s in the right format. This will give your readers the chance to potentially see who’s talking, as well as how they’re delivering the line.
DESCRIPTION: I think this one is probably the most important moving forward. We don’t get a lot of situational description, so picturing where people are in relation to what’s going on can be a little tough. Take a breath and slow down a bit! You have an excellent opening scene in terms of action, but readers lose a lot of important information from not knowing what’s near by, what people look like, your main character’s emotional reactions, etc. For example, when you had her duck into the car, I still thought they were in the terminal right off the plane! Same goes for the truck part; what kind of vehicle is it that he can reach into it without opening it and seeing her right away? Simple stuff like that.
OVERALL: I think you have a really good idea. Editing will help polish it up to the bright emerald it can be!