I stood at the edge of the water, watching it lap over my bare feet. I could hear gulls calling to each other over head but it was muffled. The roar in my ears was much louder than anything
around me. Today I will say goodbye to my big brother, my rock. He had been
the only person I could rely on to be in my corner against my parents.
Losing him was devastating. I still didn’t know how it actually happened. I knew he drowned but I couldn’t understand why. He was such a strong swimmer. It just didn’t make any sense. I took a shuddering breath into my lungs. Since his death, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
Pulling out a crumpled envelope from my blazer, I opened it and read the letter again. The confirmation that everything I have worked so hard for was being recognised. But I didn’t feel excited, I just felt numb. An empty shell of who I used to be.
“Lucy.”
That low voice ripped me out of my thoughts. The voice belonged to someone who used to give me butterflies, whose smile would light me up. He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me towards his hard body, and kissed my forehead. I couldn’t look at him so I closed my eyes and let myself lean in, giving myself a moment to be weak.
“Baby, I am so…” he started.
“Stop!” I demanded. “I don’t want to hear anymore of your excuses. I just want you to leave me the hell alone.” I said as I ripped my body away from his. The roaring in my ears had quietened enough that I could hear someone else approaching.
“What the fuck are you doing here? Get lost before I lose my temper.”
I almost smiled at that. Cooper was always on the verge of losing his temper. My brother was the one who had held him back from fighting. What trouble would he get into now without him being there?
“Baby…”
I turned to face my cheating ex, “just leave me alone, I’m not interested in anything you have to say.” I turned my back on him to face Cooper. He looked so different dressed in a suit, older.
“Come on Lucy, I’ll walk you back up to the house. It’s time to leave now.” Cooper said gently, holding his hand out. I took it, holding on tightly. He leaned down to whisper in my ear, “want me to kick his ass? I can be quick.”
It was tempting but no, I didn’t need him to do that for me. I was capable of fighting my own battles most of the time. Just, maybe not today.
“He isn’t worth it,” I murmured back, looking up to meet his intense gaze. He searched my face before nodding.
“Run along before I change my mind,” Cooper taunted bearing his teeth. He bent down, picking up my discarded shoes then tucked tightly me into his side.
“Ready?”
How could I ever be ready to say goodbye to my big brother? I shook my head, and a tear rolled silently down my cheek. Taking a deep breath, I walked back up the beach toward my parents house.
Cooper held me close the whole time, shielding me from prying eyes as much as possible.