What is your opinion?
Very Good Read!
"Once I started I really couldn’t stop! Just some small grammar or spelling errors. In the first chapter you mentioned Wherehouse and I wasn’t sure if you meant it to be that way, or spelled like Warehouse. Incorporating past and present tense is good too! This is a good read and I will definitely recommend!! "
Brilliant and bloody
"Brilliant and bloody. And although there was a lot to follow, every word can just bring you there, to the story, so good and so in-the-moment. As a reader, I can literally hear the drums beat inside me. The plot is fantastic, great use of a time-narrative pattern, it took me a while to figure it out with the chapters, like how the negative numbers, (-6,-5,-4,-3...etc) tell the story of the past, and how the positive numbers (i, ii, iii, iv...etc) tell the present, which is 29 years after the fire. It's a very good well structured story. And not to compare you with a favorite storyteller of mine, but I can see you just, like, write under the influence of Quentin Tarantino; like from your excessive use of language to the actions of your characters. Just wow. Overall 5/5!"
Beautiful Writing
"This is a shining example of pretty language. It's super eloquent and fits the time period of the narrative in that it is fancy and not at all how people speak today, which helps put the reader in the mindset of the time. Your grammar and style are impeccable and I don't have enough good things to say about it. Heres my one criticism, though. The plot is very difficult to follow. I found myself having to reread a paragraph three or four times to try to understand what was going on. Not to toot my own horn but I'm a pretty smart person who reads a lot, so if it was hard for me to follow, then it'd probably be hard for a good chunk of people too. I think it might be a bit of the show vs. tell thing. You are on the opposite side of where most writers fall in that you're relying so much on showing that it's hard to follow because sometimes you do have to tell readers a bit of what's going on. This reminds me of professors when they are so clearly passionate about what they teach and are experts in their field and vastly smarter than the students that they can't "dumb it down" for the masses to understand. I think you understand and know and are passionate about your story so much and have such a high understanding for it in your head that I think you may need to "dumb it down" in a sense to make it clearer for us since we aren't in your mind and don't understand the story as well as you .I'm not sure if that analogy makes sense at all, but it's all I could think of. Overall, very great job! I just think if you want this to be a book your average Joe could understand and follow, you may need to simplify it a bit."
