Chapter one: The Bar
My head's throbbing, the world feels like its spinning. I just wanna go home.
"Hey cutie, whats wrong?" Showed up a blond guy with his so called friends chuckling in the background.
"Yeah no thank you." I said, raising my hand to signal the bartender for another double vodka.
"What?" He scoffed, "i didnt say anything yet, princess." He chuckled, mockingly
I rolled my eyes, "yeah, sorry but i have to go."
"Hey were not done talking yet!" He grabbed my arm and pulled my face close, so that our nose barely touched.
"Fucking disgusting." I gagged
"What?!"
"Your breath i mean; smells worse than a cat's ass." I smirked
"You little...!" He threw his fists; i closed my eyes knowing that it was coming eventually.
"Stop." I heard a familiar voice.
"Eren...!" I gasped. He had grabbed the asshole's arm and swung him to the ground.
"Ugh!" He groaned while on the floor holding his arm.
"Umm...hey i think you broke his arm." I said glancing to eren.
"Broke?! It fucking hurts as fuck, i cant even feel it!"
"Yikes." I cringed, "Well, thats what you get when you mess with me." I winked and tried to walk out but i knew, that I was never going to hear the end of it.
"And YOU." Eren glared at me, "how many fucking times did i tell you, dont get involved in shit like that!"
"And thats why i have a black belt karate for a bestie." I winked
"...Was that supposed to be joke?" He raised his eyebrows
"Yup, i guess." I shrugged; ignoring the awkward tension we had created in the bar.
"Let's...let's just fucking go" he sighed; grabbing my hand and leading the way to the exit.
"Heyyyy, I haven't finished my thirteenth double vodka yet!" I whined.
"Seriously," he scoffed, " I swear to God when you are drunk; you completely go to your 'vulnerable' self, even if infront of people." He shook his head. I can clearly see that he's had enough of my shit but I do sure love teasing the living fuck out of him.
"Get in the car." He pointed to his dark blue Porsche. One thing about eren flockster, is that he is obsessed with his cars, literally obsessed, last time we had a huge fight was in my third year of highschool, when eren took me out drinking with his Grey Honda, and I accidentally scratched it while drunk. After that he didn't even talk to me for two weeks; two fucking weeks over a scratch that was barely visible.
" Hey, Alexey get in the damn car I said."
"Okay, fine." I rolled my eyes so dramatically that I could've sworn I heard Kim Kardashian's cry of envy because of the level of my sarcasm.
When I finally got in the car, he was taking the route to my neighborhood. "The fuck eren! I don't wanna go home!"
"Hey deal with it man; I've had enough of your shit tonight." He said, eyes focused on the road.
"I bet mom will still have one of her bitches passed out on the couch." I scoffed.
"...How about my place." He suggested; unfazed.
"Wait for real?!"
"Yep."
"Heh...thanks buddy." I said in a hushed voice.
"No problem."
The ride home was silent; I kept thinking about my mom when she always had one of her 'boyfriends' over, it really did impact my childhood, seeing where i am now; my mental state isn't quite stable; rather never was stable to begin with. How should I describe it? It's like walking on a string that could potentially snap any second. Seeing a different man each day laying on our couch was pretty unpleasent; they would wake up pretty early; usually at 5 am, go use our bathroom, fix their clothes or if they were naked, just wear their clothes from the night before, and head out; like nothing ever happened. After I was aware that what really all those men meant; I hadn't dare sit on that couch nor did I dare talk to my mom out of disgust. I mean I was a six year old when it first happened after my mom divorced my dad and took full custody of me.
"And here we are," he unlocked the door to his apartment. "Hey don't act like this is your first time; stop gawking and get in already." He rolled his eyes.
Again with his sexy fucking eyeroll
I bit my lip and walked in nervesouly; expecting to be greeted by the smell of cigarettes, but didn't. "No cigarettes?" I asked raising an eyebrow.
"How did you know?" He chuckled while his dimples sank in his cheeks.
That fucking smile is everything
"The smell of ciggs isn't present." I shrugged; acting smug that the fact I noticed, wasn't something to brag about, but it was in my head atleast.
"Want anything to drink?" He said while placing his keys down and heading for the fridge.
"Yeah no, one glance of anything alcohol related and I'm loosing it." I held my stomach.
"Errr...yeah right." He cringed; raising his eyebrows which let his eyebrow piercing to also follow the motion.
I bit my lip. again. perhaps I'm feeling a little more hornier than usual? I certainly do hope he doesn't notice the bite marks on my lip from biting it so many times every second he moves his body.
He returned the drink to the fridge and led me into his room. He started changing.
He took of his shirt and his black tattoos showed up. He had two tattoos in total; one on his back shaped like wings, and the other on his wrist which said to have something written in Japanese. I hadn't really asked about what it meant or what it said, since I had a feeling that if I asked...I don't know something unpleasant would follow after, but my drunken self didn't oblige by that rule or rather assumption.
"Hey, eren."
"Yeah?" He said with his back to me, rummaging through his closet in his boxers.
"That tattoo, what does it mean." I asked, or rather demanded. What I said wasn't really a question, it may seem like one, but only eren knew that tone; that demanding tone.
He halted. "Which."
"Which what?"
"Which tattoo."
"Oh you know certainly which one." I said as I walked over to him; to be exactly behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, letting my head rest on his shoulders. He stiffened up. "Hey...knock it off I'm trying to get dressed here." He said very hesitantly; almost as if he wanted to say something else, but something kept him restrained.
"And what if I don't want to?" I asked smirking. There was silence.
He slowly grabbed my arms that were wrapped around his waist, and unfolded them; turning around to face me, his face inches from mine.
So fucking hot
I bit my lip, and stared at his lips and then his eyes continuesly.
"You know..." He whispered under his breath; his lips nearly touching my ear; " if you weren't drunk right now," he continued, "I'd pin you down and fuck you right then and now." He said his gaze returning to my eyes as his pierced right into mine with a strong, unknown desire.
"Then do it," I whispered and leaned into his ear; the same thing he had done to me, I did to him and whispered "revenge." Before I could even pull away, he grabbed my wrists and pulled me in for a deep, long kiss.
Very nice. Liked the first chapter. The only thing that would be nice, is if you describe the setting a bit more. Like when at the bar, it was a bar right? Describe it a bit. Ex. it was a modern bar, or run down joint, the lighting, if it was full of people, describe the mood of the place, etc. and when they arrived at the apartment, describe a bit. I don't know. I think it will just give us the full picture. But really liked.
Sorry, but you lost me after the mention of 13 vodkas. No one could consume that much hard liquor and not be in the hospital fighting for their life due to alcohol poisoning. After that, nothing that followed made any sense. We get a sense she is from a broken family and her life is a bit messed up. The first sentence is a good hook, but it goes downhill from there due to poor punctuation and inconsistent spelling of names, and many other errors. Talking to a drunk, which she is, means the dialogue should fit, it doesn't. Her mind would be totally messed up and that doesn't come out at all. Again, this makes the story unbelievable.