The Reaper

All i can think of in this moment is how bright it all seems. Everyone is cheerful, greeting each other with warm embraces and smiles that lit up their faces. It is life in a bubble. Everyone forgets their troubles for the moment and come together to celebrate life and happiness, however brief both are.

And then there is me. i have no business being here. i, who wants to choose an easy way out, does not belong with such innocent, unassuming souls. i am a misfit but for one moment, i let myself imagine that i have a place among these gentle yet resilient people.

i gaze, absorbing all familiar yet strange sounds and smells along with the sights that bring tears to my eyes. how i crave to be a part of it yet i know that i am an outlaw. someone jostles me and moves on muttering a small sorry. i didnt know that i was starved for touch until that small meaning less contact and feel an overwhelming urge to be hugged.

i let out a small sigh, watching my breath fog up. that sigh seems to hold within itself a world of trouble and misery that i want to hide from. i steer myself away from the crowd

funny how when you are miserable you notice inconsequential things like wilting flowers, a single rock lying solitary, the moon lonely on a cloudless night with no star to give it company. and think of things like melting snow, single chimneys sticking out with no smoke coming out and empty clotheslines. how melancholy emotions and silence envelope you even when you try to claw your way out of their grip.

i turn around to look at the little spot of light and see that ive come a long way. i force myself to continue on and enter the cold place i call home. i suddenly notice a silhouette braced against the  side wall, illuminated by the moonlight yet shadowed by the vines crawling up the stone walls .and then apprehension fills me. it cant be him. not yet. i start forward. he continues to lean against the wall. his predatory stillness makes me think that he has not noticed me yet. his hat is low on his eyes. those stormy eyes. he is gazing at the ground. i think that i can slip past him unnoticed but his words stop me cold in my path. "going somewhere miss holt?"his low silken, velvet over steel voice calls out to me. seems like it was just a mistake on my part. should've known that nothing escapes him. he is not the reaper for nothing.