The Blessed Luna

Just a short note. (and the only A/N you will see in this book)

Firstly. This story will eventually be published on Wattpad under AutumnLunaQueen. These are the only two sites I am publishing so if you see it published anywhere else, or under a different name, it has been stolen. Kindly inform me.

So about this book...

Even though this is a spoof spin off of the werewolf books, in no way, shape or form, do I condone abuse, nor do I see it as something funny to write about. My intention here is to condense every single cliche that saturates the werewolf trope into one single book.

So what are the cliche’s?

Well there’s so many, but here’s a list of what I’ve come up with so far........

“MINE!” .... Cause nothing is hotter than a grotesque angry Alpha screaming that shit in your face right?

Carried bridal style... cause being carried like a new born baby just doesn’t do it

“Baby girl” This makes up for not carrying her around like one

“You slut!” Let’s face it. Glitter lip gloss makes that shit sound more convincing.

Abused Omega. What’s a good story without a tragic pathetic weak victim.

Abusive cocky Alpha’s son. No matter the plot, the male lead usually always falls into this category.

Jealous vindictive fuck buddy. Yeah, cause there’s always a Britney in there somewhere.

The mate bond. This shit typically leans the same way in every book I’ve read. Tingles, sparks, intoxicating scent, eyeball to eyeball orgasms, the urge to fuck yada yada yada

White wolf. Cause white wolves are supposedly rare so why not throw them into almost every cliche book out there.

White wolf with magical powers. You know... its not a rare wolf unless it can set shit on fire right?

Black wolf. Who wants an alpha with a dirty brown wolf the size of small car, when you can get the most powerful all black wolf the size of fucking house?

Unrealistic fast moving relationships. Fucking. It’s as simple as that. And lots of it because his dick demands you forget every crappy little thing he’s ever done.

Rejection. Why respect the sacred gift from the Moon Goddess when you can treat it like shit by rejecting it.

Like what you see? No retard. My grandfathers gums are better looking than you. Fuck this question always makes me cringe!

There’s plenty more and from what I’ve given you so far, you should be able to get a feel for the plot. Though I might throw in a twist or two..

There are also plot holes as is expected from cliche books. Can you spot them?

Feel free to add more cliches to the comment section

Things this book won’t have:

Chapters inundated with authors notes. Cause who the hell cares what I had for breakfast... or my excuse for not updating every hour is my laptop broke when in reality, I’m just too lazy to bother updating.... or what I did all day long when it has nothing to do with the story at all. Most importantly because I give a shit about my private life and to be honest, my real world just isn’t as dramatic or tragic as this book.

Demands for likes and comments before updating the next chapter cause that’s just fucking lame.

Pictures. Cause I expect my readers to be able to imagine this shit for themselves.

Expecting my readers to leave plot suggestions. Okay, so I see this as writers laziness. I write my story my way, not based off what readers want or demand. And honestly, if you feel so strongly about my characters, feel free to shit all over them if you want to, but it wont affect the storyline.

Explicit sex scenes. I don’t even read that shit and if its in a book I am happily reading, I will just skip the chapter. I’m not a prude, but I just don’t see how sex scenes add any real value to the plot unless it involves castration, beheading or just a straight up porn novel. In almost every werewolf book I’ve read, the sex scenes are merely filler content and unnecessary, so this book will only have innuendo and references to it and nothing more.

Take this story as is. Its fiction. It’s not real. It’s just a fucked up story with a pathetic cliche plot that will no doubt piss you off at some point. Hell, I might even throw in a trash load of bad spelling and poor grammar while I’m at it!

Oh and one more thing. What really pisses me off, even though I probably sound like one of those Karen’s that go mental in the comment sections.... But not titling chapters freakin’ irritates me! I want to be able to go back to favorite chapters and the title makes it easier to find them. Titles also give the reader a quick glance at how the plot will go. So in this book, I am going to number the chapters because that’s the kind of Karen I am!

Of course comments and likes will be appreciated. I might even respond.

Warnings.... contains foul language, sexual references, abuse, torture and explicit acts of violence so not for children.

Final word of wisdom ... Laziness is the body’s way of telling the mind to go fuck itself!

ALQ