Without Warning

I remember the first time I told anyone about my sexuality. It was sometime during my senior year at Douglas High. I stood across from Shayna, a friend of mine. I stared into her eyes with my heart pounding in my chest and thought over and over about how to get the words out of my head. My mouth was dry. My stomach twist and churned. Girls and boys from various classrooms flooded the halls pushing and shoving their way to the exits. I was ready to leave school too, but I was in no rush to go home. I thought over and over about what to tell her and how to let the words out.

“Spit it out Azlyn. You can tell me anything.”

She offered her reassurance. I sighed, took a deep breath and let the words out.

“I like women…I mean I like boys too. I just I don’t know.”

“Okay, I like girls and boys too, what are you getting at?”

I bit my lip and sighed.

“No, Shayna that’s not what I meant…I mean…I mean…I’m bisexual.”

She blinked a few times and stared back at me doe eyed. Then a grin spread across her face.

“No way. Azlyn that’s not fair. I don’t believe you.”

I frowned. She was laughing. I suppose this was better than her being horrified and running away well maybe it wasn’t too late for that.

“I’m not kidding.”

I mumbled the words with tears pricking at the corner of my eyes. Would I lose my closest friend over this? What did she think of me? Thoughts ran in loops around my mind, and I struggled to keep my breathing calm.

“Azlyn…you don’t have anything to worry about.”

She put a hand on my shoulder and pulled me in for a hug. She kissed my cheek and I held her back and sighed. Shayna had a pure heart. I shouldn’t have doubted her.

Afterwards we walked hand in hand to class. She told me about a party she wanted me to come with her too after school. I knew my parents would freak if they found out so I told her I would go check it out, but I wouldn’t stay long. She told me that her older sister was going to be in the area, and I could call her to take me home when I was ready to leave.

Sometime after my parents fell asleep, I snuck out the window and walked down the street to her sister’s car. Shayna was in the back and excited to see me. I didn’t know the host of the party, so Shayna told me a little about her. How they were close and hung out sometimes. She told me she would introduce me to her but shortly after we arrived at the party Shayna found some other friends to run off with. I didn’t mind. I was happy just to get a break from being home. My parents weren’t the most understanding type of people. They were very old fashioned in their discipline and their attitudes. Things weren’t that great for me, a closeted bisexual, at home.

I remember Shayna joining a large group of friends off to the side and seeming to enjoy herself. I didn’t like big groups, so I lurked around in the corner by the beer someone snuck in. Eventually I found some of my other friends and spent the rest of the night talking and dancing with them. I remember sneaking back inside a little after midnight and scrubbing my teeth with my fingers to get rid of the beer smell. Those were times I cherished. The private life I led in the shadows.

Oddly enough, after high school I ended up attending a Catholic College. Solely because they were the first school that accepted me, and they were located a few hours away from home. Safe enough to say my parents wouldn’t be visiting. My first few years went by in a blur. I made new friends, went to parties, did well in my classes. I was an average student, and I didn’t stick out much. I didn’t put in the effort to either.

When senior year came, we got to choose our own apartments instead of the regular college dorms. The apartments were co-ed and a little ways off campus. I had learned already that the college boys were just as immature and gross as the high school ones, so I opted for a female roommate. I fared well with previous roommates so I figured things would go just as smooth with this one. When we got our roommate packets in the mail with their photo and contact information, I shot her a text introducing myself and letting her know I was already in the room. I didn’t get a reply, but I didn’t think much of it.

I arrived at the apartment shortly after noon and spent most of my time unpacking and setting up the room. The rooms were medium sized, there was a few sofas and chair in the living room and a small countertop with bar chairs in the kitchen. It wasn’t bad in my opinion. I busy sorting through my boxes for my textbooks when I heard a knock on my door. The door was open, and I thought I was alone, so I was alarmed when I realized someone had come in, but I looked up quickly and realized it was just my roommate. Rebecca Hall.

“Hey”

“Hey I’m Azlyn.”

“I know.”

She paused for a moment, so I took the fake smile off my face and went back to unpacking. I wasn’t necessarily dissatisfied with her or anything, but I got the impression she wasn’t that thrilled to have a roommate. I shrugged it off. Maybe I was reading too deep into things. When night came, I had finished packing and my room was set up. I started reading some of the course material I had due for the first day of second semester tomorrow. I heard her fumbling around in the kitchen and finally going into the living room to watch some reality show. I knew she was in the Nursing Program, so I figured maybe she didn’t have any reading work due like I did. After I finished my assignment, I was scrolling through my phone looking through everyone’s move-in day selfies on social media when she came to my doorway again.

“Hey, want to watch this show with me?”

I bit my lip and thought for a moment. I finally decided that maybe this could be a great chance for us to warm up to each other, so I joined her. The show was some meet the bride type shit, so I mindlessly watched it with her. I let my mind roam elsewhere while she chatted away about what was happening in the show. She seemed excited about it like it was the greatest thing in the world. I preferred crime thrillers and drama. When she tapped my shoulder and asked me to look at her favorite part of the show, I glanced at the TV then glanced back at her. It was my first time getting to look at her outside of the roommate brochure.

She had long legs and creamy light brown skin. It looked like she moisturized and exfoliated on a regular basis. I wanted to touch her. Just out of curiosity of course. But I kept my hands to myself. I let my eyes roam over her body and explore her plump cleavage poking through the top of her tank top. I started thinking about her pink lips and pale hazel eyes. She was attractive. I figured she was straight judging by the sharp edges on her painted fingernails and the picture of a boy on her lock screen that lit up with each notification. I turned my attention back towards the TV and repositioned my legs. I felt a sudden warmth between my legs and an urge to touch myself.

“Hey, um, I have an early class so I’m going to head to bed, okay?”

“Oh okay.”

When I was back in my room, I quickly closed the door behind me. I slipped out of my shorts, and tank top and crawled under my soft cotton comforter. I swirled my tongue around my fingers and dove them in between the folds of hot slippery flesh that baked beneath my panties. I had begun to soak through my shorts and dampen my panties. I parted the folds and fondled the small hole that my warm juices slipped out of and bit my lip. When I couldn’t bear to taunt myself further, I slipped a finger inside and hooked my fingers in deep within my sex. Finger after finger, I pleasured myself. Diving each one in and out of my soaking hole and moaned as each one brushed and stroked against my throbbing walls. I gasped and moaned as ecstasy invaded my chest and circled its way down to my womb.

My pierced nipples hardened and with my free hand I twisted and pulled at each one. My moans grew louder as I weakened under pleasure, I had long forgotten about the presence of my unsuspecting muse that lay meters away on the other side of the wall in a bed of her own. The thought of her listening in and perhaps being inspired to grope and stroke her own self aroused me blissfully. As my orgasm grew to climax, I bit down on my bottom lip trying to stifle my moans as best I could. My clit throbbed and twitched under my relaxed hand. I rolled over onto my left side and tasted my drenched fingers. I decided it would be best not to go to class smelling like sex, so I pulled out a fresh change of panties. When I opened my door, I startled her as she was walking into her room next door. I smiled and headed to the shower. I figured she was ready for bed as well. Little did I know she was standing outside the door and had heard everything.