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"Your story has a really good plot but during scenes you should go into more detail . For example when kathrine shows Michael around the school. Where did they go? who did they see? What did they see? What happened when she showed him around the school? Another example is to describe what the characters look like so we have a picture in our head also describe there surroundings. Your story has a really good solid plot just add more detail, fix grammar, and make chapters longer and you will have a great story."