Kingmaker

“When are you getting married?”

“Don’t you think it’s time to settle down?”

“So where’s your boyfriend and what’s his background?”

These are only a few of the questions I receive when attending family functions. Oftentimes I would politely smile and simply give very general and non-indicative answers like, “Not anytime soon,” or “I don’t think it’s good timing at the moment.”

Other times, although rude and will guarantee my mother’s disapproval, I would fake giggle, walk away and pretend like the questions were never raised.

This evening is no different. We are having our annual Chinese New Year gathering slash family reunion at Nai Nai’s private estate in Singapore. Though our family originated from Shanghai, Nai Nai and Ye Ye moved to Singapore to be closer to Uncle David and his family. Since Uncle David is a successful cardiothoracic surgeon, it made sense for them to move to Singapore with him to monitor and care for Ye Ye’s heart problems.

Each year, Nai Nai insists that every one of us gather together, regardless if we were in outer space, to celebrate Chinese New Year together with reasons such as “to retain our Asian family values” and “to bring forward a holistic upbringing for the future generation”.

And if those reasons don’t work she will pull the “if I die tomorrow you will regret not coming home to see me for one last time” excuse. With full knowledge that it’s a feat to lure us, we don’t hesitate to jump on a plane just to fulfil her wishes.

Truth be told, I always look forward to seeing my family whenever I get the chance. Upon finishing secondary school, all my father and his siblings were sent abroad to receive the best tertiary education money can buy. After doing so, they chose to work abroad as well, leaving Nai Nai and Ye Ye back in China. Then they got married, had kids and their own lives in other places. Because we rarely see one another, it’s perfectly understandable why my grandparents try so hard to convince us to have a reunion when the new year comes.

Don’t get me wrong, I love reuniting with my relatives. I just think that getting interrogated with questions about my - rather non-existent - love life should not be part of a family reunion activity.

I hear footsteps nearing as I look out into the Japanese-style garden - designed by Uncle David’s wife, Grace, a widely recognised landscape artist - where a pond filled with koi fish is situated.

“Viv!” greet Auntie Katherine loudly.

Ah yes, Katherine Huang. Works as an accountant at a Big Four in Sydney, wife of a well-established lawyer and mother of two to cousins Alice and Aiden. Her favourite pastimes include tennis and running the family’s rumour mill. In other words, she’s a hell of gossip.

“Hi Auntie. How are you?” I shift my gaze from the window to politely smile and greet her.

“I’m doing well, darling. Thanks for asking. What have you been up to? Any boys asking for your hand in marriage?” she asks, suggestively raising her eyebrows at the last question.

And there it is. The beginning of the many, many questions about my love life for the evening.

“Nah. I don’t think I have the time for dating right now. It’s just going to wait a while.”

My cheeks hurt at the force of my fake grin. Don’t get me wrong, Auntie Katherine is a really nice person but she is annoyingly persistent when it comes to certain things.

In this case, finding out about my non-existent relationship.

My eyes then drift over her shoulder to see my other family members gesturing to join them at the table.

“Auntie Katherine, apparently dinner’s about to start,” I say, offering my arm to link with hers.

She glances behind her before looking back at me and we walk side by side before settling at our respective seats at the dinner table.

***

Why, won’t you look at that? Not only did we enter the dining room together, side by side, we are sitting next to each other as well.

Side. By. Side.

Great.

I guess the interrogation shall take a break before resuming in a moment, in a more brutal fashion.

Dinner was absolutely exquisite: a selection of hand-folded dim sum, stir fried vegetables, steamed fish and of course, rice is served to celebrate this auspicious moment.

Excited chatter spread across the whole table accompanied by the clattering of cutleries as we all dive straight into the food and conversations.

Auntie Melissa set her cutlery on her plate before looking at me with a smile.

“So Viv, I hear you’ve been seeing someone,” Auntie Melissa chirps.

I, too, set my cutlery down and shift my attention to her.

“Oh, hush, she’s gonna deny having a boyfriend anyway. Why bother asking?” Auntie Dionne interjects before I can say anything.

“You told me earlier that you’re not seeing anyone, right Vivienne? You didn’t lie to me, did you?” adds Auntie Katherine.

My brother Kai overhears our conversation, turns his head so fast he could break his neck to look at me wide eyed and mouths, “OH MY GOD, YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?”

I quickly shook my head at him. Auntie Dionne followed my gaze to my brother.

“Kai, surely you must know something. Come on, let us in on it,” she nudged my brother.

“Auntie Dionne, I assure you, I am not updated about Vivienne’s love life,” he says, “But, sister dearest, please do share all the details of this poor soul you lured into your arms,” Kai mischievously wiggles his brows and rests his chin on his hand.

I can feel my cheeks heat up in embarrassment and frustration over this conversation. Why can’t these people understand that I am very much content leading a single life? Yes, somewhere further down the line I would love to get married and have kids of my own but right now, I want to savour the last bit of my twenties.

I mean, they do say, thirties are the new twenties right? So I don’t think there is any need to rush on these types of things.

“No, I am not seeing anyone at the moment and I don’t think I wanna see anyone anytime soon. I really just wanna focus on myself,” I shifted my gaze towards my plate to avoid making eye contact with them, “Besides, if I really want to be in a relationship I would make a conscious effort to find a guy that I genuinely like.”

Kai just pouts and rolls his eyes before jumping into a conversation with Uncle David and Dad.

“I told you that she’ll deny it,” mouths Auntie Dionne to Auntie Melissa and Auntie Katherine before diving head first into talking about the looks at Paris Couture Week.

As the people around me move on to other topics, I’m still hanging on to our previous conversation.

Thoughts begin to swirl inside my mind.

Perhaps, it is time for me to at least try to meet people. I have gone on dates before but never got into a serious relationship or made it official or exclusive in any way. It’s not that they weren’t nice, trust me they were - it’s just that I have no desire to get into a relationship, let alone a serious one. Like, why can’t we just enjoy each other’s company without having to put a label on it, you know?

Not only that, I’m pretty self-aware of myself - I know I’m very picky when it comes to choosing a partner. So it’ll be great if I find someone I can at least cohabitate with to marry.

“Alright everyone, it’s time for the prosperity toss.” Nai Nai excitedly says.

The yu sheng is set at the centre of the table and everyone stood up with chopsticks in-hand.

“Here’s to a prosperous new year!” says Ye Ye with a big smile as everyone tossed the yu sheng higher and higher and rejoiced at the thought of great fortune.

Let’s hope I’ll be fortunate enough to have my family members stop asking about my non-existent love life.