Chapter 1
I once read somewhere that you don’t appreciate something until it’s gone. It’s a great quote but it takes quite an experience to truly understand it. Oftentimes you think you do but you don't.
It was 7 years ago when I embarked upon this particular career, which has brought me to my highest peaks and my lowest troughs. Calling it a career might be overselling what I did for a living though, it certainly wasn’t something young me would have been proud of. Officially, I was a threat neutraliser, which was a euphemistic way of expressing how I was paid millions to kidnap, torture and extract information from individuals that posed a threat to national security.
I eventually got caught and was only spared in exchange for my services to a particularly large and nefarious state-wide crime syndicate. It wasn’t as if there was too much of a change however, as I got tasked to do much of the same, only more unethical and without the inner assurance that I was doing the right thing. Neutralising opponent mob bosses, blowing up competitor drug deals and abducting sons of rich oil magnates all became mundane tasks after a year.
This particular task I’ve been working on for a week was different though. Not only because it was my last job of the year, but also because it involved a child. It may just be a biological instinct but I’ve always felt queasy whenever I had a job involving children. I didn’t exactly have a bright and colourful childhood and I have always felt that the objectives could probably be completed without harming helpless offspring. My opinions regarding the running of the syndicate didn’t really matter however, given that I would most probably end up with a bullet between my eyes if I refused or failed to complete an objective given to me. Granted, I am uniquely qualified to inform you that it is far from the worst way to go.
I, however, have no intentions of leaving my line of work. Despite occasional decisions by the higher-ups that perplex me, this is all I’ve ever known. My fellow criminal henchmen are the closest thing I have to friends I have left and the syndicate ultimately still grants me a sense of belonging, which I have long lost since years ago. As such, I humbly accept my duties which is why I’ve been spending my last few nights pouring over the files passed to me surrounding Jakob, the kid I had to abduct. Poor kid did nothing wrong but be the son of an influential and powerful mob boss who happened to have dealings with a competitor. Perhaps it would be most merciful if he could be neutralised before he grows up into such a life.
That being said, the profile of Jakob didn’t really jump out of the page, a typical 7 year old who goes to school and rolls around in dirt. He is a bit large for a kid his age but the lack of security made him a relatively straightforward target. So much that I was assigned to this task alone, which is rare given that Barbara often insists on group missions for safety and efficiency reasons which, knowing Barbara, is usually the right decision.
A week of observing Jakob has gotten me quite acquainted with his daily routine which is expectedly unremarkable. He has school in the morning, walks home alone and is often unattended when left at home, living his life as a typical child. The only thing that is odd and on record is that I haven’t seen his parents over the past week, given that I would’ve never been trusted to stay home alone at that age. Such an arrangement might end up on forums as a good method to inculcate young independence, but will certainly not deter someone like me from harming the boy.
Watching Jakob does bring about internal questions about my life which I don’t particularly fancy. I am 32 after all and there is a nagging feeling inside me that tells me this isn’t what I want to be doing for much longer. Most people my age seek happiness in the simplest of ways: a simple job, a loving relationship with their significant other and to start a family of their own. But as I finish up preparing various chemicals to sedate a child, these feelings are yet again dismissed as mere thought experiments as I know deep inside me that such a life can never happen for me.
That voice tells me that my only focus in life is the mission and the one after. Who am I to argue otherwise. For now, all that matters is the mission tomorrow, and I am in no position to bargain for more.
I haven’t failed in 7 years and I don’t plan on starting now.
