The Ex Factor

“Come on Faye, it’ll be fun!” my best friend Noel pleaded excitedly. “She’s an honest to god psychic. All my friends are raving about her. Aren’t you even just a little bit curious?”

I rolled my eyes as I set another patient chart on top of the stack that was teetering awfully close to the edge of Noel’s desk. “I’m curious as to what constitutes an honest to god psychic but do I want to waste money and time on a crock of nonsense? Absolutely not.” I straightened the pile, pushing it closer to my friend who was reclining in her chair, black converse sneakers crossed at the ankle on top of her desk. Without looking I knew a set of high heels was tucked away in the drawer of her desk just waiting for 5 o’clock.

Noel rolled her eyes, “Maybe she can give us some insight into your dating situation.”

I couldn’t suppress a groan. My dating life had been less than ideal lately. It wasn’t that I had a hard time finding men, it was that I had a hard time finding decent ones. I’d been on a handful of dates in the past six months, none past a first date. Not that it was all the fault of the men. Being a veterinarian, I was much better with animals than people.

“It’s not a situation! I’m perfectly happy with how my life is.”

Noel tapped her bottom lip with her index finger, “And when was the last time you got laid?”

Before I could retort, the door opened and in walked a client with her Airedale terrier. They were frequent visitors as Michelle, the human, was a bit of a worrier. She’d recently lost her other dog to kidney disease. I could understand her vigilance. “Hey Amos,” I crouched down to his level, scratching the sides of his neck with both hands, “how are you doing today?”

Michelle crouched down in front of me, a worried expression on her face. “He’s been super itchy lately. I think he may have gotten into something in the backyard. Do you have some time to look him over Dr. Johnson?”

I smiled reassuringly before standing with a nod, “You came at just the right time. I’ll meet you in exam room two once I pull his chart.” Michelle smiled and headed toward the room with Amos in tow. I turned to Noel who’d taken her feet off the desk and was pretending to work. “If you could get through those files today that would be great.”

“If I get through them today then you have to go to the psychic with us.”

“Did you forget I’m your boss?”

“Did you forget you love me?”

I sighed, “If it’ll get you off my back, I’ll go. But get the files input please.”

She saluted me, “Yes ma’am,” before grabbing the top file. I stuck my tongue out at her before going to the shelf to find Amos’s file and head to the exam room.

Once the last furry patient had left for the day I hung my white coat on the rack by Noel’s desk. Every file that had been stacked there was now gone, hopefully filed into their proper places on the shelf. I rubbed at my temples knowing what this meant. I felt a headache coming on and I pulled the elastic out of my straight black hair to help with the pressure.

“Guess who is going to see a psychic!?” Noel did a shimmy dance as she came in from the back room. “Let’s go Dr. Johnson, we’ve got to stop and pick up Dallas.” She looped her arm in mine and pulled me toward the door. I locked the door behind us and we headed down the sidewalk.

I’d been lucky when I graduated college. The vet I’d interned with was retiring and he’d sold me his practice. It hadn’t been cheap but it came with a great location and already established patients. Two things I couldn’t pass up. My apartment was within walking distance and so was downtown. That really worked in my favor as I wasn’t the world’s best driver. I preferred to stay out from behind the wheel, tires and curbs would thank me if they could.

We stopped outside of Envy, the spa just a couple blocks away from my practice. My other best friend, Dallas, strolled out on his long legs wearing his entirely white work uniform. “I had to massage a 72-year-old man today and I am in desperate need of a shower and glass of wine, in that order. Why are we doing this again?”

“Thank you!” I exclaimed, giving Noel a pointed look. Obviously, Dallas was as skeptical as I was.

She sighed, “Guys, this is supposed to be fun! Something different, a look into the unknown. Your shower and Netflix can wait an hour. I could go for a glass of wine though.”

Dallas and I exchanged harried expressions as Noel pulled us along. Dallas and I had been friends since high school. Both of us were not quite misfits but definitely not popular. We’d bonded over our love of trashy reality tv and the ability to be virtually invisible in social situations. Luckily that bond had taken us through to adulthood. Noel, at just 25, was only three years younger than us, but sometimes her enthusiasm made the age difference feel bigger. Noel was anything but a wallflower.

When I’d taken over the practice I’d posted an assistant job. Someone to take care of the phones, scheduling, and inputting patient charts, as the old secretary was the previous vet’s wife. They’d retired together. Everyone I’d interviewed just didn’t feel right. But Noel had strolled in on sky high heels in a hot pink skirt and frilly lace top as if she’d come fresh from the runway. She was smart and had a way with people. I’d hired her on the spot. We’d been friends ever since.

After trudging a few more blocks, we stopped in front of a building. The bottom store was a florist but above that there was a neon sign showing a set of hands with long fingernails resting on top of a crystal ball. I rolled my eyes, this was definitely a waste of time. Begrudgingly, I followed Noel up the narrow, steep, dark steps and through an old wooden door.

The room smelled overwhelmingly like patchouli incense. My nose wrinkled as it reminded me of my grandma’s house. She had been into all things unconventional. She’d been massively disappointed to have an extremely conventional granddaughter. The room was small and dim, the walls lined with shelves containing a myriad of things from tarot cards to crystal balls to crystals. There were two purple oversized armchairs that looked to be velvet. A big wooden counter took up most of the space with an old-fashioned cash register sitting on top. Behind that was a set of beaded curtains.

“Hello!” Noel called out, “We are looking for Madame Gigi.”

There was a shuffling noise before a woman emerged from the curtains. She was small and round, her white hair piled atop her head under a ridiculously small hat. Her dress was a riot of color and patterns that looked to be stitched together. Thick glasses sat on the bridge of her nose, connected to a colorful beaded chain around her neck. She looked exactly how I’d imagine a psychic.

“Hello dears, what can I do for you?” her voice was oddly melodic for such an old woman. She had to be at least seventy.

“We were hoping we could have a reading done,” Noel’s smile looked like it would break her face.

Madame Gigi looked from Noel to Dallas before resting her gaze on me. She stared at me for a moment, her blue eyes crystal clear, before she nodded. “Very well, follow me please.”

Noel led the way through the beaded curtain which took us to a small area dominated by a round warped wooden table. Madame Gigi took a seat in a large wingback chair. The three of us pulled out a mismatched chair each, sitting around the table.

“Now, the spirits would like me to start with you,” she pointed a crooked finger at me. “What’s your name dear?”

I cleared my throat, “Faye.”

She studied me for a moment, “You don’t believe in this, do you Faye?”

I smiled uncomfortably, looking at my friends. Noel’s eyebrows were raised but she smiled brightly. Dallas shrugged a shoulder as he stretched his long legs under the table. I faced Madame Gigi again. “Not really ma’am. There’s really no way to talk to ghosts or see what one’s life has in store. Life isn’t preplanned, it’s a series of choices. Which makes it all a great mystery.”

Madame Gigi scoffed, “It is no mystery for those who know where to look.” She turned and bent down, disappearing behind the table.

I reached over and pinched Noel on the arm. She flinched away. I could be spending this Tuesday night on the couch with a pint of ice cream watching Are You the One. Instead I was in an overheated stuffy room with a crazy lady who thought she could divine my future.

Madame Gigi straightened as she sat a very large clear ball on the table. There was an indent in the middle that cushioned it perfectly. She swirled her hands over the top slowly. I couldn’t help but lean forward and I felt my friends do the same.

The ball grew cloudy, almost as if filling with a white mist. Madame Gigi’s hand quit moving and I glanced up at her. Her eyes were focused on the ball, her body stiff, almost like it was frozen. “You have a closed off heart Faye,” her voice sounded like it had dropped an octave.

“I am open. I date...”

Before I could finish she interrupted, “You don’t truly look to the heart of the person.”

I turned to Dallas and muttered, “Is she calling me superficial?”

Dallas stifled a laugh and I turned back to face Madame Gigi.

“You, Faye Johnson, are heading down the path of solitude, destined to be alone.”

She said that like it was a bad thing! I was fine alone, at least, I thought so. And... wait, how did she know my last name?

“What can she do?” Noel was giving Madame Gigi her undivided attention, eyes wide.

“You, Faye, have already crossed paths with your one true soul mate,” Madame Gigi’s voice was flat, almost lifeless. “You threw him away after dating, as you have countless others, never giving love a chance. If you don’t find him before your next birthday, your fate will be sealed.”

My grandma used to tell me a story about soul mates. She believed that they were once one soul that was ripped apart and put in separate bodies. Now they roam the world looking for their other half. She believed soul mates were reborn into each generation together, in the hopes they would reunite. I’d never put much faith in the idea. From what I’d seen, love was a fleeting feeling that settled into comfortable once a couple had been together long enough. My friends called me a cynic, I called myself realistic. That didn’t mean I was averse to chasing after that high.

“Who is it?” Noel asked excitedly, practically vibrating out of her seat.

“Look inside yourself and you will find the one.” The old lady blinked rapidly, her stiff posture relaxing. I looked back and forth between my two friends, shock evident on both their faces. What the hell did she mean by that? “Did you get your answers dear?” Madame Gigi asked, her voice slightly raspy.

I nodded but honestly, I was left with more questions than answer. How was I supposed to find a soul mate in six months?